2009 was good to me

I started out 2009 just any other.

Then, February 27, 2009....my world changed as the lines turned blue. Little did I know it would change me too.

In May, we learned we were having a boy (and daddy clapped his hands in joy), and that this whole baby thing was oh so real. My heart melted when I 'met' my little man for the first time, and immensely fell in love.

So, we decorated his room.

We got ready for his arrival! In September, I had two baby showers, and another in October. We were ALMOST ready for our little man to come next month.

(taken the week I went into labor)

BUT.................

he had other plans! On October 26, 2009, our lives and our hearts grew when Brady entered the world letting us know he was a feisty one!


Oct 29th, he got to leave the Special Care Nursery to come join me in my room, and I was overjoyed!

Then, we finally got to take you home the next day!

Brady, you were by far the best of 2009, and will continue to be our 'best' for years to come. We can't wait to watch you grow and each day we grow more because of you. I always knew I wanted to be a mom but you prove to me that it was why I was put here. Mommy and Daddy love you! We can't wait to share 2010 with you!

I started out 2009 as any other, and ended it as a mom!

oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! be safe!

Not a good first

Brady has been on Zantac for his reflux for about a week and a half, and the whole choking thing has gone away completely--but the spitting up has gotten worse. He literally pukes up everything he eats and it doesn't matter if is breast milk or formula. Both come spewing out like the exorcist. The other day a friend was over and she goes, 'huh, so THAT is what projectile vomiting is like."

The past few days have been pretty rough. Yesterday being the worst. He literally slept for a good two hours off and on the WHOLE day. He would finally fall asleep and then wake up crying. I held him in my arms just trying to comfort him. Let me tell you how much it sucks to see your child suffer and you have no idea what is wrong or how to make them feel better. You basically feel helpless and like you suck.

I had to bring him to the dr's office to get a rotovirus vaccination and while I was there I told the nurse that we have had a rough few days. My dr was out so she would let the dr covering know his symptoms. Well, she called me back on my way home to tell me to go to the ER.

So, today Brady has his first ER visit. I thought my first visit there would leave me to act like a blubbering mess but I handled it well. I think watching him being poked and prodded while in the NICU helped ease some of that. Well, the catheter wasn't easy to watch. Luckily, he wasn't dehydrated, and his electrolytes were normal. They looked at his umbilical hernia and it was okay too (sometimes pain/vomiting can be a sign that the hernia caused another issue)

Hopefully this was his first and last visit to the ER. They upped his Zantac and hopefully it helps!

Newborn no longer.

Somehow in the past two weeks this little man has grown up. He no longer looks like a newborn but a little man. A little chunky baby. Not the tiny, helpless newborn he once was. He laughs, and he smiles so big it melts my heart. He is such a good little man, and I love watching him explore the world.

Brady had his 8 week visit yesterday and I will post his 2 month pic later this week but as much as I hated to put him on medications so soon we had to try out Zantac. He has some awful reflux and there have been a few times he choked on it that it scared the crap out of me and at the end of it were both were crying (like 20-30 seconds of choking.) He has been on it for 24 hours and no coughing/gagging/choking episodes yet. He also got his first set of shots, and it was painful for both of us.

He also has something called an umbilical hernia. Basically, his belly button looks like massive outtie when he cries or moves around. It generally goes back in or heals by itself by the time the child is a year old, but sometimes can take up to three. It looks kinda freaky and is pretty common from what I understand.

We officially have daycare figured out. We have family watching him 3 days a week (im hoping it works out) and a mom of a little girl the other days. Whew. I am kind of in denial that the day that I go back is approaching, i kind of try not to think about it.

Today, I had my 6 week post-partum visit with my ob that I had mommy brained on last week. found out some disheartening news that my risk of another hematoma if i have another c-section is pretty high. OH CRAP. Somehow that next baby needs to come out of my nether regions.

Anyway, I figured taking Brady wouldn't be a big deal. HA. I WAS. SO. WRONG.

He slept the entire time in the waiting room while some other new mom talked my head off. I got to my room and the nurse tells me to get neked. So, here I am in my lovely paper gown when he starts crying, and i smell a familiar stench. Oh, crap. Literally crap. He is screaming, and I figure the only way I can get him calm is to change him. So, i put him on the exam table only to find out that today of all days he decides to have his first blow-out. It was not good. Down his leg, up his back. (I am now cursing them damn shots) and luckily I was a good mommy who packed extra clothes. Um, yea, his shirt was damp (damn water bottle). So, i can't just let him sit in just a diaper or worse yet just a pair of pants unless i want social services knockin at my door or looked at like some lunatic. So, there I am neked, in a paper gown in all my glory with a damp smelly baby. At least it wasn't projectile huh? (by the way, he slept the REST of the day...he has great timing.....)

All your preggers sure you want that baby to come out? :)

oh, and i swear not all my stories will be poo related but i can't guarantee that many of them won't be! he he

File this under, 'hmmm....didn't expect that.'

So, things have been extremely busy around this household. Last night we had a moment that I really only can say, wow....didn't expect that at all. It was around 11 and I knew he pooped and I hated waking him. I put him on the changer on the pack and play and started cleaning him up. I dropped something and I stood up and it was then it happened.

Projectile poo.

Yes, i have heard of crazy things happening but I witnessed this atrocity with my very own eyes. I had his little legs in the air getting ready to put on the new diaper and before i knew it I had poo flung on me.

that is one moment I didn't expect quite yet.

I had my 6 week post partum check-up last week only to get there and realize my appointment was at 10 not 10:45. Oops. Major fail. No longer will I rely on my BRAIN to remember appointments.

So, note to self. Wear poncho during diaper changes and get a damn calandar already.

It's you not me

Dear weird thing that happened to my body (also known by those medical peoples as a hematoma)

Well, I wish I could say that it was nice to know ya but really it hasn't been. You came into my life 5 weeks ago and you out stayed your welcome.

It might sound harsh but I won't miss you and I don't want you to come back.

Have a nice life with someone else. It's you not me.

So happy you are gone,

Amy

Answered

Where are your nursing tanks from? Are they really much better than a normal tank top with a shelf bra?
Target. They were the cheapest (16.99) and best quality. Yes, these are made for nursing, and doing so somewhat discreetly. I wore them with a robe and it worked out great at the hospital! It works best because you don't have to show your belly and after a c-section it's just easier not to mess with it!

Were you able to wear sweats/pjs after your c-section?
yep, it was probably the only thing I wore. I did spend the first night or so in the hospital gown until I was given the ok to shower. Low comfy waistbands are the best for a c-section!

Any advice on c-sections?
Get up and move! I know it sucks, and you would rather punch someone in the eye than get up and move but it really makes you feel better faster. Also, my OB ordered something for me to wear that looks like a girdle--called a binder. I didn't get it for a day or so later than I was supposed to and my OB says that is one way to prevent getting a hematoma. I wonder if I wore it sooner if this would of still happened?

Let people help you. That is a hard thing for me to do, and I had to welcome it when I got home. Also, take it easy. You just had major surgery so doing things you did before won't come easy right away--that one I had a hard time with.

Oh, and not c-section related but SLEEP when the baby does. It really is hard to when you have people in and out, and the house looks like a tornado hit, but you'll come to a point when you have to sleep.

In terms of diapers, would you suggest newborn sizes or mainly 1's?
Both. Only open one package at a time because you should at least be able to exchange them. I bought a few newborn thinking he was going to be a chunker, and with him weighing only 7 lbs 5 ounces at birth, he just started wearing size ones last week.

On breastfeeding......
It is not the easiest thing in the world but my biggest piece of advice is to nurse right away. With him being in the NICU, I was told to pump, but the mean nurse I had the first night (the ONLY nurse I didn't like) told me to wait until the next day because I had a rough surgery and needed to rest. I think that is what started me off on a bad note. I also say that if you are dead set on doing it, don't give up. It is very hard especially when you have a baby screaming at you because he is hungry.

What is this honey thing all about?
Honey is said to have natural healing properties. It was funny because I was actually watching the show, 'the doctors' on TV last week when they were talking about this. It has natural antiseptic properties and has been used in treating wounds for a long, long time. On the show, they talked about Medihoney. It was then that I thought they might be onto something :) What is really amazing is that it works on things that doctors have tried 'modern' approaches to, and nothing worked. On Tuesday, my opening was .8 cm, and by today, it was closed and scabbed. My nurse was shocked, and when I told her I had been putting honey on it per Dr's orders, she was amazed. By Monday, I should be completely healed! (by the way, isn't wound a weird word. I hesitated using it because to me it's a weird word, lol)

Will you have a c-section next time and are you afraid to because of the complications?
I think it might be one of those things that I don't think I will know until the time comes. I do not want to have to go through this again. Granted, I would deal with it like I have been if it would, but this time I will have another child to think about. During labor, the nurse said that there are two big reasons why you don't' dilate. a) Your contractions are not strong enough or b) the baby is too big.
Well, my contractions WERE strong enough, and my baby was average sized so who knows what happened. Luckily, even though my water broke and he was delivered almost 24 hours later, he never went into distress and my fear is that next time, it might happen. I don't want another c-section by any means, but I also don't want another episode of my baby being whisked away to the NICU. I guess we will see what happens when it's time (and no not anytime soon, lol!)

Is there anything you wish had gone different?
Well, that is a long one. When I look back at Brady's birth, sometimes I get emotional. I was given extra drugs because the epi wasn't working right for me. I felt that first cut, and while I was about half numb, it hurt. Once Brady was out, they gave me something that they told Blake was the strongest they had. I remember Brady being pulled out because I could hear him crying after they cut me open (which is crazy and amazing at the same time), and I started getting teary and excited. I remember them saying he was really cute, and then I heard him screaming. I remember them weighing him and blake seeing him for the first time. I am glad I have that because that was a special moment. One that I will never forget.

After that....a big ol blur.

Brady was whisked away to the special care nursery because of his lungs, and when I was wheeled into the recovery room, my family came in to see me. They told me they were able to go see him and that he was adorable, and perfect. (They let the grandparents see him but normally there is a two person max. in the special care nursery) I remember saying that it wasn't fair they were able to see him and I didn't. In my drug induced state, I think I pouted. I saw my baby for the first time on a pic from my moms phone. That is the part I have the most trouble with....and it doesn't help that I didn't get to hold him until the next evening. I was wheeled on the way to my post partum room to see him and that part was fuzzy. I remember them saying they needed to keep him calm and happy so he didn't get all worked up....but what I remember most was that I couldn't hold him yet since they were still worried about his lungs (and I was on some heavy drugs), and I didn't get to feed him. In my mind, I pictured him being put on my chest after birth and we would ooh and ahh at him, and then we would try breastfeeding.

I remember waking up the next day and looking around expecting to see my baby in my room, and I didn't. It was then that I lost it (especially because the last thing I had heard was he was having trouble breathing), but when I was finally able to see him and hold him for the first time, and he looked at me with those big eyes of his, it was all okay. I can't change what happened, and I have to accept what did happen, and in the end I am okay with it because I have my happy and healthy little boy. That is what I am most grateful for, and will never take that for granted.

Do a little dance!

Which is exactly what I am doing right now. A little jig. Come on dance with me, it's kinda fun!

Ok, why are we dancing you ask? My dr. is letting my wound close! Granted, I still have to put honey on it for a week, and the nurse will come a few times before I go back next week but that is better than everyday! YIPEEEEEEE!

So, hopefully within a week, I will be all healed and then the real dancing can begin! :)

My sweet little munchkin is 6 weeks old . He is growing like a weed, and time is going by way too fast. He is becoming his own little person as he smiles as you, and looks so intently at you. He knows my voice and that is the best feeling in the world. He will look at me and smile and everything is right in the world and all that I went through is soooo worth it.

Sadly, our daycare situation is all screwed up. I won't go into the boring details but one of the places isn't working out last minute and I am trying to find him somewhere to go. It sucks because we knew this other person and now I have to find a place to hand over my little baby to a complete stranger. I can't even think about it too much or I find myself in tears. I wish this was going to be easier but I knew in the beginning it was going to be hard. I think I would give anything to be able to stay home with him at least a few days a week!

I miss him after not seeing him for a few hours while he is napping, it's going to be a hard transition! Someone told me today, you sound like a true first time mom. It got me thinking, that I am his mom, and I am different today because of it. Granted, I am still the same person, I am just better because of him. I have grown up, and I have grown as a person.

Some days I totally am rocking the mom thing, and others I am winging it. Leah hit it dead on when she commented on a post-- 'Don't you feel super smart and completely clueless at the same time lol?'

Exactly.

I have answers to your questions coming up so if anyone else has any....shoot! :)

More from a new mom

Nursing tanks=greatest invention ever. Esp since you don't have to worry about cup size....

Pack a little more than you think you would need when you are packing your back for the hospital. I didn't expect a c-section but thankfully I tend to pack heavy...like one of those ppl that pack 10 days for a weekend trip! Other useful things from which other moms have told me are lanolin, breast pads, pads, prep h, receiving blankets, outfits for the new baby. Personally, I found that comfy clothes with a low waistband (esp for those with a c-section), a comfy robe, chapstick and ponytail holders were crucial!!


Baby socks never want to stay on....

Leaving the house takes more preperation than I am used to. I am one of those throw my hair up and go kind of girl but now it's a pack the diaper bag, change his diaper and make sure he is well fed kind of thing.

Lactation cookies might actually work. I made them last week and have noticed a difference. I had a few busy days and didn't eat them and noticed Brady wasn't happy after feedings, and I pumped on a day after I had been eating them like mad, and pumped way more than I normally do. Brewers yeast takes a bit of getting used to though.....and next time I am adding cinnamon, and raisins.

Sleepers are a pain in the ass when you are changing a hungry baby at 4 am

A wipe warmer is actually very useful. Brady hates having his diaper changed, and these help. I mean really who wants to wipe their butt with something ice cold?

Stock up on essentials before the baby comes (diapers, wipes, etc.) You and your hubby do NOT want to run out last minute when you are lacking sleep. I got a ton of diapers, wipers, and baby wash cheap during Kmart's double coupon days. I believe they are coming back in Jan. Also, Target is a great place to double a manufactures and target coupons. I got some good deals that way too! Also, get gas drops and saline drops. I bought this from Babiesrus and it has come in really handy.

Babies always know when you are getting ready to eat. Never fails.

Speaking of diapers, make sure you tighten those babies...or you might have a mess on your hands.

Speaking of mess, boys always AIM down. Enough said. Combine that with said loose diaper=big ol mess!

It's pretty sad when your dog sleeps better than you. She snores so loudly when I am up feeding the baby and I swear she does it on purpose. You might actually despise a dog when you are changing yourself, the baby and the sheets because of a diaper malfunction.

There are days when getting anything done is just impossible. Then you want to celebrate when you finally get the baby to sleep, only to miss him a little while later.


Pregnancy flies by and Maternity leave flies by even faster. Days slowly turn into weeks.....and before you know it you only have a handful left...and you find yourself counting them down. Sadly counting them down.


Enjoy every coo, every cry and every moment. They are only this little for so long. I remind myself this at those 4 am feedings.

and if you have anything else you wanna know, pipe on it. Ask away.

newborn pics

Pamela over at My Life Through A Lens, shot some awesome pics of my little munchkin. She is one talented girl! I highly recommend her!

Here are some of my favorites :)

I just love those squishy cheeks

I love how his eyes pop....

Nothing cuter than baby toes!

oooh, so tired!

Guess whose idea this was? Blake did this and it cracks me up. He is def his fathers son!

Gotta love him with his daddy!

Makes my heart melt....

I had to show you guys this poor kids hair. He has two--not just one but double cowlicks (is that the right spelling?) and a baby curly mohawk. I hope his hair stays curly so that it can keep up with those swirls. Blake has one in the same spot on the right and his hair never stays down!

Cute baby bootie!

First Turkey Day

Turkey Day was busy! We go to my dad's side and blake's fams so needless to say it was a busy day! Brady slept right through it except for when it was time to eat dinner, lol! My nephew met Brady for the first time and I think him and Brandon will be good friends.

He was so excited to hold him and feed him.....
and.....a little late here are a few pics of Brady at 1 month

I have more pictures coming of his newborn pics, and his room! Things have been a bit crazy and I lack the time I used to have. I wonder why, lol!

One month.

I have good news! For one, Brady is nursing really well! I can't believe it but somehow something clicked with him and he latches like a champ! He was doing an amazing job at it for about a week and hardly supplementing at all until this week when his appetite seemed to have doubled, lol. It is so much easier than fighting to feed him, or feeding him formula and then pumping. The past few days though he has been getting more formula and I'm ok with it! I know we have worked hard at this so I'm really ok with where we are now. I plan on making some lactation cookies tomorrow (granted this lil man cooperates), which may or may not help but any excuse to eat cookies!

I had a dr appt today and the opening of where the hematoma was 10 cm deep and now it is less than 2 so we are healing. She thinks that next week I won't need the nurse to come anymore! I am so flipping exciting about this I could do a little jig! I am ready to have my life back, and start getting active again! I am ready to exercise again!

and....it only took 3 weeks but I finally got my wedding ring off!! I also was able to wear real shoes again! I haven't tried anything other than my tennis shoes but it was nice to wear something else other than flip flops.


So, it's been a good week. Last week marks half-way into my maternity leave so I am ready to enjoy it fully! Right now my excitement of the day is getting the mail.....

Today, marks 1 month! I cannot believe how fast these weeks are going and it makes me sad to know that within a month or so I will be back at work. We still don't have daycare figured out 100% and I really don't know how well I will handle doing back to work! :( We are moving to a new building that is WAY further (think 30+ miles one damn way with bad traffic) I don't even wanna think about it.....

Anyway, he had his 1 month checkup today and my little porker has gained 2 pounds since birth. He now weighs 9 lbs 7 1/2 ounces. Piggy :) He also grew 2 inches! I have a feeling we are going to have a chunky man on our hands! (Blake was a VERY chubby baby, and had rolls on his rolls, lol)

I will post pics soon! Especially since he is now 1 month old! He is starting to stay awake more often and look around....and he loves to look at his mommy and daddy! :)

Things I have learned....

Here are some things that I wish I knew or have learned so far....

• You might feel some instinct on how to care for your new baby, but sometimes dads need a little guidance (esp. if they haven't been around a baby, like ever!) You can't just assume they know what to do! Taking a class helps but they might not remember everything in the moment. Give them time to learn!
• Using a breast pump does weird things to your nipples.
• Breastfeeding isn't as awkward/weird as you thought it would be.
• Lanolin can stain your clothes.
• You might find yourself excited over the amount you pump......
• Any shyness/modesty goes out the window during childbirth. You won't care who sees your lady parts when you need help getting out of bed after a c-section to use the bathroom.
• People will ask about your boobs like they are a foreign object and not a personal part of your body.
• Even if you didn't quite enjoy pregnancy like you thought you would, you might actually miss being pregnant after it is all over.
• Even with all the complications, pain, and tribulations you endured with the birth of your baby, you can't wait to do it all over again!
• I never knew that staring at your baby could be the best entertainment and you never tire of it.
• Always keep their goods covered when changing diapers. You will regret it if you don't
• I was worried about caring for his circumcision and belly button before he came, but once he was here, it was no biggie.
• Caring for him period seems like 2nd nature.
• Your emotions post partum might make you feel like you are a bit crazy, but they do settle down. I think I cried more tears the first week literally over nothing, than I did the whole pregnancy.
• Leaving your baby for the first time is hard, but when you see him again, you wonder why you worried so much.
• You really do know your baby best. You learn what every cry, wince, or grunt means without even knowing it.
• 8 lbs of baby=more laundry than you could imagine. Who knew such a tiny body can cause so much destruction to you house. I run the dishwasher more often, and our trash overflows more quickly. All because of a tiny little body....
• Babies really do just eat, sleep, pee and poop.
• Speaking of bodily functions, little 8 pounds of baby can really pass some gas, and clear a room!
• Those stretch marks you developed last minute, are not as bad as you thought they were when you remember why you have them.
• Your body does bounce back but not immediately. My maternity clothes are huge on me, but I am not quite ready for my pre-prego pants. I about 11 more pounds to lose from the pregnancy, and hope to loose more than that (I gained weight pre-prego bc of my car accident)
• BUT at the same time, I feel more confident knowing what my body is capable of and seeing how it can bounce back after what it has gone through (aka=healing!!)
• Breastfeeding is more difficult than I ever imagined, and may not always happen the way you expected. While he latched on immediately, we struggle with supply issues and have to supplement with formula. I still pump, and while I don't get a lot that way, I feel good giving him every little drop. Things are improving on this front, but it is way harder than I expected and I refuse to give up yet.
• The love you have for you own child is truly unconditional, immense and wonderful. You may only have had this little being in your life for 3 weeks and you cannot imagine you life without him......

Progression is the new trend!

Thank you all for the encouragement and wonderful comments. It all really helps and the encouragement goes a long way. I hate being so negative but there is only so much a girl can take! I am doing much better and it seems that I am making progress!

The nurse came today said that she is almost sure that the hematoma is shrinking, which is good news! She comes in the AM to repack the area, and Blake has been trying to do it in the PM. This has been a new adventure in our marriage to say the least. I mean what husband gets to shove packing materials into an open hole in his wife's body and does it without complaining? The first time was a bit rough, and it's been hard for him to get the packing material into the hole but I am so proud of him for doing this...I don't know if I could do it in return. The fact that he even attempts is amazing to me! It's not our favorite thing to do but knowing I can heal quicker is the best incentive.

I go back to the dr. today, and I hope she agrees that it is healing. Knowing I am making progress is music to my ears and gives me hope that things will be okay soon!

Another good thing happened is that I was able to nurse Brady today! I don't know what I did differently but he nursed for a long time and I screamed for Blake to come see. He thought we were hurt or something because I was yelling so loudly for him to come! Hopefully, this is a new trend that stays. Maybe my body really is staring to heal....or maybe this was a fluke but either way it made my day.

We also took Brady out on his first outing this weekend. It was my in laws 44th anniversary so we went out to a laid back dinner. He slept the entire time so needless to say, he behaved well! :) It was good to get out even if it was only for a few hours! He had his first real bath last week too, and his little belly button finally fell off. I can't believe my baby is already 3 weeks old, and I have been on maternity leave going on my 4th week. It is half-way over and that makes me sad. I don't want it ever to end!!!!

Treading water

I have written this post several times but I never posted it because I felt like I was just whining and I don't want to come across that way but I feel as though I am treading water. I have been in much higher spirits lately but I still have times when I just want to scream or cry or go shopping.

I think the part that is hardest is that I am not able to supply him with what he wants. With all that is going on with my body, my milk supply has not increased to where it needs to be. I feel like my body has failed me. That it has failed him. The daily dressing changes, all the pain, and lack of healing--all that I can handle....it is my body not providing my baby with what he needs that gets me the most. I pump almost every two hours and i feel like it is a lost cause. I am providing him with some breast milk but most of what he is getting is formula and I feel so guilty. I never even looked at formula or researched it because I didn't think I would need it. This is one area I thought I had covered. Boy was I wrong! I know I can't help what my body can and can't do but I am trying to come to terms with it all, it is just hard.

I had an appt with my OB Monday and the nurse practitioner changed the dressing. She told me she had a hematoma when she had her tummy tuck and hers never opened, and needed to be drained. She had to do that for six months. I choked back tears as she told me that mine should heal in a few weeks. WEEKS? The nurse that comes by everyday told me the same thing.

She said there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I want to see it, but it's really hard to. She left and I started bawling. I am trying to embrace it and accept it all but like I said what is hardest is knowing that my body isn't doing what I need it to do.

We are very lucky though because things could always be worse. We have amazing friends and family that come to visit, bring us yummy things to eat, or just spend time with us and the little man. Little things go a long way! I have a lot to be thankful for and I don't want to forget that or sound like Debbie Downer. Life does not always happen as planned, and unexpected hurdles come up. We have to deal with them, and decide if we want them to bring us down further or lift us up. I have a beautiful baby, and an amazing husband. It is that what makes me want to chose the latter.....and in that light.....here is what makes my day brighter.

My sleeping man.....always has his hands up by his face.

This pic cracks me up. He looks like he is mad, and he always tries to hold his own pacifier. He is a strong little baby and people are surprised by his head control.

This is Lily being his protector. She follows us everywhere we go (as does Piper, but she runs away when he cries!) Last week, Brady was sleeping in the pack n play and I was in the kitchen. He started crying and she runs into the kitchen and stares at me with her tail wagging like she was trying to tell me he was crying!

Scary (part two.)...2nd time a charm?

I woke up this morning at 4 am (when I should be feeding my baby), and it was happening again. We decided to change the dressing and look at it in the morning. It looked like it was going to be okay so we got ready to pick up Brady when it started gushing again. As it did, so did the tears. I was so disappointed, so frustrated, and just everything all rolled into one. I was so excited to see my baby but I felt robbed...and my heart sank. I started sobbing harder. I think I cried the whole way to the hospital. My poor husband, he deserves a medal for all that he has done for me lately.....

We headed out to the ER for the 2nd time in less than 24 hours. I still had tape marks and bruises from them trying 4x's on my right arm to get an IV started (They joked that all the blood came out my belly that they couldn't get any from my arms but they eventually got it on the left hand..).....I shouldn't be back. I should NOT be here.

We wait for what seems like forever in the room when they tell me my OB is coming after she delivers a baby at the hospital across the street. I feel a bit relieved knowing she will be there and the one helping me. Then part of me panics....praying I didn't need the whole thing opened up again. Surgery=hospital stay. Hospital stay=no Brady.

We got there around quarter till 11 am and my ob came to see my an hour later. She opened up the hole a bit more to see if I was bleeding from a vein, or whatnot or if it was still the hematoma. Luckily, she said it's fluid mixed with blood but that meant she had to repack it, and that hurts like hell. Imagine someone shoving dressing into a hole in your belly. Yes, that is what she did and yes, it freaking hurts.

We then learn that the ER Dr's were not comfortable handling this issue. They didn't know what to do...stitch me, leave me open? Thank god she was available. She even gave us her number if we needed to contact her or I got freaked out. I will most likely keep bleeding until all the fluid is out that needs to come out. I get to walk around with gauze and maxi pads stuck to my belly. SEXY!

I go back to her office in the AM to get it repacked, and then will send a home nurse to my house everyday until it is better. Which means I am stuck in the house AGAIN.

I am getting stir crazy. I am frustrated. At this point, I am so relieved to know that it's nothing else or that I don't need another surgery but this is not how I expected to spend my first few weeks with my new baby. I am trying to be positive, I am trying to be thankful or at least somewhat upbeat right now but I am at a breaking point. It's just not fair. It's just not fair.

I deserve a fregging drink....or ten!

After we left the hospital we ran to get a prescription filled and some groceries, we went to pick up Brady. Blake's family was all there and he was getting lots of love. Everyone has wonderful and amazing through all of this, I am thankful for all those in my life for sure! I ran over and picked him up, and he opened his eyes and just stared at me. I swore he smiled (he was probably just gagging from all the kisses I gave him!) I held him for a long time and just cuddled with him when I got home and it was then that I felt thankful. That I thanked god. I will recover, and I will always have my sweet baby, I'm just taking a longer road to get there.

Tomorrow morning and each day they poke my open wound, I will have to remind myself that. Luckily, he won't be far from me so it should not be too hard.

Scary.

It was a bit of a scary day today! Luckily, the baby is just fine. I was feeding him this morning when i got up and felt something wet. I looked down and my incision was bleeding. Then, it started gushing. Called my OB who told me to put a pad on it and call her back in a bit to see how much it was bleeding.

Turns out it started gushing everywhere. I mean crime scene kind of everywhere. We were in a panic because we didn't want to take the baby into the ER with all the sick people but no one lived close enough to get to us right away. On the way, we called Blake's mom who met us there and took him home.

Turns out I had a hematoma. It basically is a pocket of fluid that can build up and it needs to come out. Talk about not so much fun when they are poking and prodding in my incision. Meanwhile, i hear them say they haven't seen one this big, and this much blood in one. Awesome. At least, I am one that can surprise even ER docs. The whole time I am worrying about whether or not Brady is ok.

Then, they started talking blood transfusion and I freaked. I was thinking the worst....worrying about my little baby I could see it in Blake's eyes too! My platelet count was low but luckily not low enough to need a transfusion. I don't handle loosing blood well which is why I can't give blood (I pass out every time!) They want your count to be around 12-13 and mine was 8. At 6 they would do an infusion! So, it wasn't good, and not too bad. I was given strict instructions to not do a damn thing, and to see my OB first thing Monday morning!

The worst part is Blake told his mom to keep Brady overnight because he knew even if he took care of him, i would be up wondering if he is ok. I, on the other hand am not handling that very well. I know I need to get better, but to me, it's too soon to be away from him.

The good thing about all of this is I am hoping it is the reason why I am having issues with my milk production. I am producing more than I was previously, but not enough for Brady's big appetite (which means I have to supplement) Most likely, the fluid has been building up or a while and I hope it's the cause of this other issue!!!

Since I have been home, my fever went down (I have had a fever since I got home from hospital, my OB put me on antibiotics but nothing was working), and the swelling went down on my feet. Weird.

I hope I didn't freak anyone else out (i know a lot of you are prego now) but know that my luck is just unlike anyone else, I swear! I am just so frustrated at this point. All I want to do is cuddle with my squishy baby, and be able to feed him what he needs and I can't do either of those at this moment.

What I have learned so far (ramblings of a new mom)

That it is possible to be peed on and pooped on simultaneously.


That anyone and everyone will give you advice on how to raise your child.


That all those fluids you build up during pregnancy have to come out.....(and yes, i might compare it like a fountain.)

You research all your options, and fill your head will so much knowledge about labor and delivery it might explode but when it comes down to it, flexibility is the most important piece you can carry with you.

That same flexibility will carry with you to raising that baby.

Even though things may not have gone the way you wanted, you are grateful for the experience.

That all those months freaking out about this and that and you instantly have this natural instinct on what to do.


the things you thought were easy, are harder than you thought.


your husband never looked sexier holding your child (even though he has not showered in a day or two, lol)


That you will have an immense love for someone else, and you would do anything to protect it.


That your life will NEVER be the same again (in the best way possible.)


As sick as you were, as uncomfortable as you were, and as much pain as you endured, you are so amazed that your body did what it did.


and at the same time wouldn't change a thing.

Thank you....we are HOME!

First, I wanted to say thank you all for the kind wishes and sweet words. It really helped that first day after the surgery when I couldn't see him.

He was able to leave the special care nursery on Thursday. Poor guy has been stuck with so many needles and what not. He did get a little jaundice but luckily it was at an ok level and we were able to go home Friday. The pediatrician today said that when little ones are not feeling well (the hole in his lungs) they can get jaundice easily. We took him to his first pediatrician appointment today and she didn't' seem too concerned. The hospital also referred us to a nurses program to come by and check on him for a few weeks.

Leaving was kind of emotional for me. I was in the car and I couldn't control the tears. I think I was/am so grateful to be able to take him home. Being in that nursery with some very tiny or sick babies is hard, and I am forever grateful that we were released with no issues. Trust me, I am counting my blessings right now as I look over at my sleeping baby.

I was also so grateful for the care I received there. I had one nurse come back to check up on me because she was assigned to someone else the next day. The first day after the surgery my fever got pretty high and she just wanted to see how I was doing. Top notch care for sure!

Having him home is a good feeling. No more needles, no more machines! Being a mom is indescribable. Knowing that he is ours, and the love I feel for him is more than i can put into words.

Blake described it well. When he was sitting there during the c-section, he watched them pull out Brady's head (which I have pics of, if anyone if interested in seeing :) Immediately, he said his world changed. After 9 months, and all the talk/anticipation of his birth, it never really hit him until he saw him. Then, when she pulled the rest of him out with the cord around his neck, and the breathing issues really freaked him out especially when I wasn't doing so well at the time either. It was scary but got through it. He is a keeper for sure!

The whole process is amazing, and I cannot believe that this little man was inside my belly! While my delivery was far from what I expected, and breastfeeding is way more difficult than I imagined, it is all so worth it. I am a bit bummed that I was so out of it that first night, and couldn't be with him, but then again, I look at him and thank god we are all okay.

The first few days home I did not want to put him down, or be away from him but we are slowly adjusting to our new life and my world has changed too!

Now, time to snuggle with Brady!

Bragging rights! :)

Brady is doing great! He is still in the special care nursery but is doing well. He latched right on and is starting to want to eat! What he has is called pnumothorax--it's a hole in his lung that should heal on its own. As long as it doesn't get bigger, then we are ok! His vitals are great, he is alert and nice and pink!

I talked to my aunt last night who actually had a very similar experience down the fever and pnumothorax. WEIRD.

I saw my doctor last night who told me again (guess she told me but again, i was out of it) that the cord was wrapped loosely around his neck! YIKES!

So, back to those bragging right....here are pics of the new man in my life!

Daddy's hand with his little footprint!

Brady is here! Updates on my little man!

(By the way, if you are going to deliver soon, be warned that what happened to me is not normal!!!)

The past few days have been crazy. I labored for 15 hours, and was making no progress, and hadn't slept all night. Got the epi, and dilated to 2 cm after what seemed like days. The Epi wore OFF around 5, and then I started to spike a fever.

After talking it over with Blake and my nurses, I was wheeled away to the OR for a C-section. My water broke at like 8 on Sunday night and was given antibiotics to prevent infection but something was going on. I was not making any progress, and he had been in there too long without fluid.

He was delivered by C-Section at 6:33 pm, weighing 7lbs and 8 ounces (i can't believe how tiny he is) The EPI wasn't working right, and I was feeling some of it during the C-section, and once the baby was out they gave me pain meds, and I got knocked out. I did get to see Blake see him for the first time, and that was the most amazing thing.

At the time, they thought he inhaled fluid but turns out there are air pockets in his lungs. His is in the special care nursery, and doing good so far. He is on an IV and antibiotics. I was so out of it after the c-section that I didn't really get to see him. I got to hold him around 9, and fell in love. he looks like his daddy, down to his nose! He had a head of dark hair and is the cutest thing I have ever seen!

(I have better pics but I can't reach my camera right now, lol!)

It's kind of hard to see him attached to all those wires, but he is wide eyed and alert! They haven't had to go to any other measures (breathing tube, etc) so that is good but he is not out of the woods yet. I talked to the nurse this morning, and she said he is snoozing away, but that he had a few episodes of the rapid breathing, but again no extreme measures had to be taken, so i guess that is good.

They are going to have me pump since i am bed ridden right now, and my nurse just told me she would take me to see him later. I hate that I can't do anything, and that I can't even move. I can't be there for my baby, and my heart is aching.

I made Blake go home and get a good nights rest since we had a long two days here and to take care of Piper and Lily but once he gets back, he is going to see Brady.


I will tell you that my experience at this hospital (Missouri Baptist) has been awesome down to the wonderful anesthesiologist. Last night, they wheeled my BED into the NICU to see him (well, they call it the Special Care Nursery.) I was shaking like a leaf during the c-section from the meds and they took great care of me.

Anyway, back to Brady! If you could please say a little prayer for him, I would appreciate it!

Yes, I am blogging from labor and delivery!

Last night after making a huge dinner, and two loaves of pumpkin bread (one was still cooking in the oven), I went to lay down to watch tv and relax around 8:00, and I felt a pop! My water broke! It was pouring down raining, and we were here by 9:00.

It is now 8:30......and here I am 12 hours later, and no freaking baby. I am having contractions every 1-5 minutes but there is no real pattern. They are starting to develop one, but hence this morning I was STILL at 1 cm. I looked at the nurse like, WTF? SERIOUSLY? It's going to be a looooong day!

I haven't slept....and I am bored out of my mind. So, I am sitting here bouncing on a ball, blogging!

I sent Blake home around 3:30 to let Lily out, and make sure our house didn't burn down (neither of us could remember if we turned off the oven..luckily, it's still in tact! but damn I was pumped about that damn pumpkin bread! Popsicles just won't cut it!)

I sure hoped to have a baby by now!

Hopefully soon!!!!

Oh, and since it's been over 12 hours since my water broke, I am a lucky recipient of antibiotics to prevent infections. COME ON BRADY---GET OUT!

Winners!

I used random.org to pick two winners for the Yopliat Prize Pack!

Cheryl and Katie, you both won! Congrats!

Please email me so I can get your prize shipped to you before this baby pops out! :)

Random musings of a pregnant woman: Part 2

Nine months is a long time. It's a long time to go without sushi, and wine but it truly is worth it.

You will get to a point where even your maternity clothes are snug on you. Walking around half neked might actually feel more comfortable but not really socially acceptable.

Here is my neked belly. It might be the only one I ever show :)

Here I am at 38 weeks!

You will realize that you are spending more and more on tp due to the fact that you pee 6,694 times in a day.

On that note, you might actually think about moving your office into the bathroom because you are spending so much time in there.

You will think that you lucked out on stretch marks because you made it to the ninth month with only one here or there but you wake up one day to a road map of them.

Your husband will want to take care of you which is sweet but then he will tell you that you are getting so big, that he actually worries about you falling over.

Your feet might swell so much that they resemble fat sausages and drumsticks more than toes and calves. Your wardrobe will have to go with flip flops because that is the only thing those sausages will fit in. You will have dreams of wearing those cute BCBG patent leather pumps once again.....

You will go to some great lengths to paint your toes, and shave you legs. You might even decide it isn't worth it.

You will miss your old wardrobe, and get tired of wearing the same 4 shirts over and over but then again, you might never wear normal pants again. Maternity pants are like dressy sweatpants!

You bring your lunch to work everyday but only end up eating it once or twice. Bread Co, or something like a grilled cheese and bacon sounds much much better!

The first (and if you are lucky like me, part of the 2nd) trimester is in the beginning for a reason. You are still so excited to be pregnant and the whole thing is so new you muster up the energy to go to work even though the thought of rolling out of bed makes you want to hurl. Then you get to the 3rd trimester, and you are so ready for it to be over, rolling out of bed exhausts you!


Your nose might swell so much that you don't even recognize yourself. You are to the point where you just don't care and are lucky you found enough energy to brush you teeth and throw you hair into a ponytail!


Pregnancy was a learning experience for the men too. Little did my husband know that he would learn so much about the female anatomy. I might have heard him tell someone that I was dilated, and that I was having contractions but that didn't mean anything because they were not close together. You might realize that your husband actually listens.....or that he actually might know what he is talking about!

People will tell you that it flies by and the first trimester feels like it will never end. Then, you get to see your little one wiggle on the big screen and fall madly in love. Then, time stops again before it immensely picks up and it's over before you know it! For those of your preggers, enjoy it while you can even though it can have its rough patches, it truly does fly by and before you know it, you will be sitting there wondering if today is the day you meet your baby!

Your body will amaze you. I think once I meet Brady, it will really put in perspective how amazing the whole process is!

Things you don't want to hear (38 weeks!)

I swear my feet and legs are the conversation of everyone I meet. I go to my Dr. appt today and my dr. was out so I saw another one, (who I have seen before and I like.) She comes in and says, 'So i hear you have tree trunks for legs," and I show her and she goes, oh wow! Then she reads me my note from my Dr. and it says, "Edema-very impressive!" So, yes, chuck that up to things you don't want to hear.....but you know I am so used to it! They are pretty bad......and tree-trunk like!

I I have been having some contractions but they are not close together at all. The first one took me by such surprise! I was at lunch with coworkers and I looked around like I had expected them to feel it too!

I have made some progress, still 1 cm dilated, and 90% effaced! YAY! She said that most first time moms will efface first and then dilate, so that is good to know I am making some progress.


I am to the point where I am just uncomfortable...really just miserable, and ready to have him in my arms. I will try anything so if you have something that worked, let me know! I am hereby, evicting this baby!

I have a pic and another post coming tomorrow!

Yoplait Kids Giveaway!

Thanks to myblogSpark and Yoplait, we got to try out this fun prize pack and I get to give away two of them to you guys! I am a Yoplait fan (I am pretty hooked on strawberry banana) and was excited to try the new low sugar from Yopliat Kids.

What is best about this is that it is low in sugar, no artifical sweeteners or flavors, and it is yummy too! I have been eating a lot of yogurt to get some calcium in since I am not a big milk drinker! This would be perfect to give the kiddos, and feel good about it!

The Yoplait Less Sugar, More Fun Prize Pack includes:

• 1 coupon for a free 6-pack of Yoplait Kids Yogurt
• Travel Cooler
• Fuzzy Tangle Puzzle
• Spoons that changes color in warm water
• Reusable Placemat

Leave me a comment telling me what you favorite flavor of yogurt is, and enter by 10/22! I will announce the two winners on 10/23 pending I am not in labor!

This coupon offer for a free six pack of Yoplait Kids yogurt is not valid in Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Jersey, North Dakota and Tennessee and if you live in those states you can still get the prize pack but not redeem the coupon! No compensation was given for this review. I did receive a yoplait less sugar, more fun prize pack to review, and the opionions are my own!

Progress baby! 37 weeks!

Today was a good dr visit! I didn't gain any weight, wahoooo!

I am dilated 1 cm, and 50% effaced! Yay for progress! His head is nice and low (um, I know!) She also doesn't want to send me right to a c-section (whew!) and wants me to go through labor as she thinks there is a great chance he could fit. (double whew!) but only at that time will we know!

I was also told that I need to get my wedding ring off ASAP. I am supposed to elevate my hand and then try to get it off but seriously have tried everything--soap, lotion, oil, and soaking my hand in ice. I might have to get it cut off and it might make me weepy but that isn't anything weird because everything seems to do that to me lately. I mean I got emotional the other day because something Blake which had no emotional connotation whatsoever....or because i dropped something!

My nose looks like it grew in place of gaining weight this week. Seriously....

My feet look like fat snausages, and my back is killing me but I am so close to meeting my little man, it's crazy. I think I might have a little mini panic attack over that thought....breathe, Amy, breathe!

I'm ready!

My goal this weekend was to get all the stuff I needed to get done and have it checked off my list! I overdid it, and blake put me on bed rest today (though I didn't mind spending my day off doing nothing!)

My bag is packed! Though, someone wants to go with me!

Too bad I can't take her with me.....

I bought the rest of the stuff we needed, though I am sure I'll think of 459 more things.
I finished a project for his room! I was worried how it would turn out and I think I like it! :)
I washed and hung all his clothes, blankets, bibs...etc!
I finished part of his alphabet wall. I don't really have the time or energy to do it the way I had wanted, but I kinda of improvised and like how it turned out. I am just waiting on getting the fabric sewn, pick up one more thing, and then I will share pictures!

I feel ready. Brady, you may come out and play now! Wow...this is real isn't it?

36 weeks....

I had my appointment this morning following up on my ultrasound from yesterday and my normal weekly appt. She was not concerned with his weight right now, which is good but I am, lol! She said that he weighed 6 pounds 10 oz! The u/s tech mentioned he was almost 7 pounds. My ob did say that these u/s can be off under or over, so at the same time, who knows how big he is!

Good thing is he is still head down and in position. She could feel his head (and mentioned it was right on my bladder but I could have already told you that!) Another good thing was that his fluid was good! It was under 10 but still at a good amount! YAY!

That was the good news, but I left really confused. I asked questions but once I left I had 799 more. Basically, she said that the baby might not fit through the birth canal. I am right on the cusp and the only way to know if he will fit is when I am in labor. This worries me for several reasons. The first one is obvious--the whole possibility of a c-section. Then, what if I go through 20 hours of labor to find out that the baby is in distress or doesn't fit and now I need an emergency c-section. Maybe none of this will be needed and I plan to talk to her more in-depth about it next week, but I am uneasy not knowing the final outcome. I am too much of a planner to not know but IF I HAVE to have a c-section, I have to mentally prepare myself for that. I did not feel like she steered me towards either but I am sure it depends on his size as well. If he is going to be 8+ pounds, it's going to be more difficult than if he was 7, which we already know he is near. It is a wait and see kind of thing, and I am just not happy about that. I can't change what my body can and cannot do, and I have to accept that. I also have to accept that I can't plan everything!

The whole surgery while I am awake freaks me out. Granted women do it everyday, but at the same time there are other things that can come into play. Plus, this was not part of my plan. I guess it really goes to show you how much you try to plan, things can always change. First lesson in being a parent, lol!

So, here I am again, waiting. :) What I do need to focus on is that I get to meet my baby soon!

On the nursery front, I am ALMOST done (talk about cutting it close!) I finally ordered the fabric and it should be here any day. I ordered something else too and one these two things are up and ready to go, his room will be done!

Today marks less than 27 days till my due date! Yipeeeee!

Random musings of a (crabby yet happy) pregnant lady...

As my due date inches closer, and meeting my son becomes more real, emotions are running wild.

I look back and cannot believe how fast my pregnancy flew by. I think of all the aches, pains and weird symptoms yet I still manage to look down at my belly and smile. Pregnancy is not easy, and those that say it is are either lying or in denial, lol, but in all reality, the process truly is amazing.

My belly grew.............

.....................and with each inch so did my heart.

In the greatest retrospect, I really cannot believe we will be meeting our baby boy so soon. I remember (and it really does feel like just yesterday) when we found out I was pregnant, we were both nervous and overwhelmed. 36 weeks later, those emotions are still there but coupled with excitement, curiosity, and overwhelming joy and love.

I do not expect the few few weeks, or hell, the first year to be easy but I do like to think that as he grows, we will too. There is no book that truly prepares you to bring a baby home, and no manual to read but we will look to our hearts, and beg for help from those who have been there :)

I won't miss those aches and pains, but I will miss having him to myself. I will miss the kicks, and flips, and even those nudges in the ribs. I will not be able to protect him from scraping his knees when he takes his first step, or the first time he gets his heartbroken, but he will forever be a part of me, and I will forever be changed.

We have a NAME!

As you know this has been really hard for us. Blake has been the one who had more issues with names than I did. The more and more it gets closer, I just told him to pick as long as it wasn't Blake Jr. lol.

We looked and searched for names....but we just couldn't agree! Then somehow we came up with this name, and the more and more we thought about it, it grew on us.

So, I can now announce, our baby boy has a name!

Brady Robert B!

The double B is Blake's favorite part of it! :) I am trying to call him by his name rather than baby but I'm afraid we might change our minds when he comes out and we see him!

Speaking of seeing him, I am excited, anxious, nervous, and 6,593 other emotions about seeing him tomorrow on the ultrasound! I really cannot believe we are this close--it's almost scary!

I'm a bit behind (weeks 34-35)

The past few weeks I have been a bit out of it. I was sick, and Blake is home sick now (if i were a mean wife I would post the pic of him from urgent care where they put a mask on him as he presented with flu like symptoms, lol!)

Whew. I swear this kid is keeping me on my toes! Last weeks appointment didn't solve much in my mind but I am scheduled for another ultrasound to check fluid and growth on Tuesday. He is gonna be a Sasquatch (hairy and ginormous) I swear. I measured at 37.5....and I was only 34 weeks (which has been the trend for quite some time!) Well, I know where those two pounds that I gained went to....the baby!

I can't wait for the ultrasound (and hopefully he cooperates and I get to see his chubby face), just to feel reassured. I am sure he is fine but it's hard not to worry! :)

I am almost sure this baby has dropped!!!!! He will occasionally crawl back up but he has dropped. Coworkers have commented that he has dropped so it's not in my head! He hasn't dropped a lot and I am hoping it's not because he is too ginormous to fit.

The other day I was at schnucks and the lady asks, 'how much longer do you have?', I tell her and her face expression pretty much sums up the looks that i have been getting. I GET IT, I AM HUGE! I am having the next WORLDS GIGANTIC BABY OK!

I have been having braxton hicks a lot, and even some 'contraction like happenings in my back. The back ones are awful and from what I hear back labor is not fun at all so I hope I don't get to experience that. I don't know if the weight of this baby is affecting this or not but being on my feet for too long is becoming difficult (aka=painful) on my hips and my back. Hell, just sitting here at work for a full day is starting to get really difficult. If this baby doesn't come in a few weeks, I might have to take my maternity leave a bit earlier. I am exhausted...and it seems like this week is lasting for years!

His room is slowly coming along. I FINALLY found some fabric since the one I was in love with was the wrong color! Hopefully, I can have it done before he comes! I have my last shower this weekend, and then we have to shop for the rest of the stuff we need! So, hopefully I can be all finished soon! I still have a ton of letters to get, I put that on the back burner with me not feeling good and I am basically worthless when I get home from work! So, that is my goal for the next few weeks!

I really cannot believe it's October already! I can now say he is due next month!

I will have to post a new belly pic, and a before and after of him since he dropped. It's funny because some days my belly is shaped a little different depending on how he is laying!

Updates!

I was calmer than I thought I would be on Friday (I still get a little nervous for ultrasounds for some reason!) I was waiting on Blake to come meet me, and when they called my name, I was calm. I got to hear his strong heartbeat for about 30 minutes and they told me it sounded great! He is a strong little guy!

In between waiting for the ultrasound and trying to get Blake to find me in the hospital, the time flew by. I was getting mad because it had been at least 30 mins and he still wasn't there. After about 15 minutes on the phone we both realized he was at the wrong hospital. Ooops but don't worry I have instilled in his brain that we WILL be at Mo Bap for delivery, lol!

He finally came in when I was just about finished with the ultrasound. I really don't know what to say about this experience. The nurse was very nice but she measured the fluid and told me she had a hard time finding pockets of fluid. She also said that she was having a hard time distinguishing fluid from the umbilical cord? Really? The ultrasound machine was not very good, and it was so hard to see anything. Another woman came in and asked if she was almost done because there were 3 others waiting for an ultrasound. This annoyed me as you shouldn't have to rush things like this. She asked if the other woman could come in and take a look. She explained to her she found 12 cm the first time but didn't feel that was right. The other woman said, yep, it looks low, and told her to remeasure it again. So, she did and couldn't get the old numbers out of there so she said she would hand calculate it. She said she got around 10, which would be good if I felt it was right.

I don't know, don't get me wrong, i am sure she knows more what she was doing but I left feeling that she didn't. I see my OB tomorrow so I will definitely let her know this, and I am so ready to go to this appointment I might camp out, lol.

I did get one good thing out of that appointment---we learned he has a head of HAIR! EEEK! Love it! I am ready to meet this little man that has kept me on my toes the last 8 1/2 months.

My sweet husband felt that we needed to get a camera ASAP because it would be the worst thing for him to be born without having one. I swear, this man melts my heart sometimes and I am sure once I see him holding our son, my heart will be nothing but mush. (and yes, i did get a little teary over that....anything lately seems to do that to me!)

oh and one more little thing....I woke up for one of my nightly runs to the bathroom, and because the dog was snoring, lol, but I couldn't go back to sleep because he had the hiccups. SO, STINKING CUTE!

Waiting game

This is the part that sucks. Waiting. I have been super emotional the past few days. In fact, I got a package in the mail from a sweet friend who couldn't make it to my shower and it sent me to tears.

I go Friday for a NST (non-stress test) and an ultrasound to measure fluids. Then, I am sure I get to wait all weekend to hear anything. I go to my OB for my 34 week visit on Wednesday but that seems like years away. More waiting. Luckily, I have a shower on Saturday so that will keep me occupied for a while! :)

I really want to encourage your preggers out there to call your doctor if you have that feeling, that feeling that just isn't right. I almost didn't go and luckily I listened to that little voice that encouraged me to go.

Good thing is that the little man has been moving around like a mad man last night. Made me smile but reassured me too.

He continues to keep us on our toes!

I had a short stint in labor and delivery tonight. I called my doctor because I was not feeling as much movement as I had been, and they told me to go right there.

So, of course I freaked.

They hooked me up to the monitors and the sweet sound of his heartbeat filled the room. At first I got nervous because his heartbeat went up and down, but they reassured me that was good.

I was monitored for what felt like 6,000 years and it was so bizarre to be there hooked to the monitor listening to his heartbeat. It was so surreal. Finally, the midwife came in and did an ultrasound.

It turns out that he is low on fluid. He is not extremely low but low end of the normal range. They finally let me go but let me know that my OB will calling me tomorrow to schedule an ultrasound to check fluid levels. I could notice a huge difference from my last ultrasound. There was much more baby, and much less fluid.

I am glad I made the call and went. I was hesitant and Blake told me that I worry too much, that he is probably fine. I almost didn't go. I feel so much better knowing he is busy squirming away in there but I will feel much more reassured when I talk with my doctor.

I really don't know what all this means yet, but have read a little that could cause me to freak out. Most of the time everything is fine but it could mean that there is a birth defect (which I would have thought they would have caught in the many ultrsounds I have had) and could increase the risk of a c-section, or that the baby will have to come early.

I just hope that the levels stay, and do not decrease. If they decrease, he will have to come out. I need him to stay put for a little while longer. I am actually not freaking out, trying to remain positive that it's nothing but I still worry about my little monkey. I pray that he stays put until he is good and ready to come out.

There is such thing as gravity

My car wouldn't start on Sunday morning when I left to run errands. We tried jumping it with Blake's car for several several years (at least it felt like it) and it wouldn't go. We figured it was the alternator since the battery was less than two years old.

Blake got this great idea to push the car out of the driveway so that we can get it towed.

I reminded him that the driveway does downhill and that wouldn't be a good idea for him to do it alone.

No, it will be fine.

Guess what happens? I know it's hard to comprehend but the poor guy almost got ran over. He starts pushing it out the garage and it moves slowly but once it hit that edge it starting flying down the hill. All i could picture was my car driving backwards into my neighbors house. The neighbor we really don't know yet, and I don't think they would like us very much if that happened.

I watched my husband run after the car, and then watched him being drug by it and stopped the car by putting his hand on the brake. Nice honey. Nice.

He goes, 'that must have been really funny to watch'

Well after the initial heart attack wore off, yes it was pretty entertaining.

and goes to show you that I am always right. ALWAYS HONEY!

(On a sidenote, the damn battery was bad. We payed $75 to have it towed, and then the car shop charged us $105 for the damn battery. The damn battery that had a warranty on it from AutoZone. I love my car!)

32 weeks and my torpedo belly.

7 weeks, 6 days! :)

I had to take my pic in our ugly bathroom because my phone was not cooperating so please excuse the ugly mirror :)I have yet to do a front shot so here it is. I tried a different shirt that wasn't black to show you how really ginormous I am. Here is baby b from the front. and from the side. Seriously? It looks like a torpedo.

32 weeks seems like a stinking milestone if I would say so. I remember being at 20-24 weeks and thought time had stopped, and now I can't seem to get time to slow down! Emotions have gone from being so darn excited to see his little face to being freaked out.

I also swear that my belly had grown since I woke up yesterday.

I also realized that things I could eat before are not house-able in this tummy. Like chili--i swear that my stomach now has a hole in it and all the tums and Nexium are repairing it.

So, I had a major wake up call this week when I looked at our new insurance and the time I have saved up. Right now I have 5 weeks saved up, and I should have 3 more weeks saved up before then if I continue to work overtime. I found out that our insurance would cost me $846 a month if I have to go unpaid. Um...what?

I had my 32 week visit today! I got back in two more weeks and then every week after that! Oh, yipee! I just saw the nurse practitioner today since doc had to deliver a baby! She said that at the time of the ultrasound I had last month baby measured a week ahead, and I measured 2 ahead this time. My due date won't change as of now because just because the baby is ginormous doesn't mean lungs are developed. But basically, he is on track to be a biggin.

She then asked me if my mom had big babies.....um, no. We were barely 6 lbs. I told her my dear hubs was due 11/11 and came 10/10 and weighed over 7 lbs. She said, oh, he would have been a 9lber. Great.

I have gained a whopping 4 pounds in the past 4 weeks. Geez. I am blaming it all on him!

She also confirmed to me that I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions. I have only had a few but they are weird and uncomfortable. I mean ODD.

and again, we prove to have a stubborn baby on our hands. When she used the Doppler to find the heartbeat he wasn't having it and kicked her. She had me turn to my side because most babies then cooperate but again, he kicked her and then moved over. So, there we have it folks. A stubborn big old baby will be in our arms before we know it!