Friday, March 30, 2012

B2: 28 weeks

28 weeks people. The first trimester drug on forever and now I'm into my 3rd. Slow down! I know this post is no good without a picture but I'll get there. I feel like my life has been sucked out of me and all I want to do is sleep which I'm sure our busy schedule doesn't help. It doesn't help that there is a nasty green coating of pollen covering everything right now and making us all miserable. I failed my glucose test by 15 points. I'm taking the 3 hour right now and I'm crossing everything that I pass. It's just funny that I didn't pass this time around since I've been more active, weigh less and just feel better in general but I know that doesn't always matter! I know I can't help if I have gestational diabetes or not but I want everything to go as smoothly as it can to make a vbac a bit more likely! To wallow in learning of my failure the other day, I snagged a big ol' Starbucks java chip frap. Decaf of course. Now, I'm sitting here salivating at that thought.

Fasting is pure torture I tell you. Torture! I had to stop reading posts on Facebook because half of them were about food I almost wanted to eat my damn phone!

My platelets dropped again so I'm having those retested again as well. I'm going to up my iron intake (give me some spinach!) and hope they stay where they need to be.

I think Brady is getting used to the idea that he'll be having a brother soon. Brady got to feel the baby kick and actually talks about his baby brother now. I found him sitting in this the other day! When I told him he was way to big for it, he told me that his baby puma was not. Silly kid.

Don't you just love it? I was ecstatic when I won it, like more than I should be when it comes to baby equipment. I won it from here. She's got fabulous giveaways all the time! It's the most amazing baby thing I've ever seen and I think life would have been easier if we had it with Brady!

I made a comment that my belly was huge because his baby brother was getting so big and he tells me, "No, momma! The baby is little!" He's so funny but he's also right sometimes! Love that kid.

Then, he told me I don't have a belly button, which I guess to a 2 year old, my innie isn't in enough :)

Other than the glucose and platelets issues, everything else is going well. I'm getting more tired and worn out easier but when you are carrying a basketball, I'm sure that is to be expected. I just can't believe how fast time is flying.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A mother is born.

Last week, I was sitting at the lab, waiting to take my glucose test, which I freaking failed. More to come on that later. Another person waiting in the office started up conversation with another pregnant woman sitting on the other side of the room.

We made small talk and learned she was having her first baby.

It feels like it was just yesterday that I was sitting where she was. Nervously anticipating this new little life, unsure of what he would look like and fantasizing our new lives as parents. I felt prepared as we brought our baby home and looking back, there was no way to prepare me for what was to come or what my heart was about to endure.

Now, I'm seven months into my 2nd pregnancy with a 2 1/2 year old in tow. I think of all the things I'd tell that woman whose life was about to change in a way that holds no proper words.

I would tell myself that you'll look at the world in a whole new light. Everything is so much more beautiful, amazing and scary all at once. You'll find beauty in things you never noticed and you'll find worry in unexpected places.

I would tell myself that being a mom is hard, really hard.  Nothing can ever prepare you for it.

You'll watch too many episodes of Dora and wonder how the hell she manages to move around with that big ol' head.

You will repeat yourself a lot and forget things even if you swear to have the best memory.

You'll defend your choices, stand your ground and find a voice you didn't know you had.

There is no limit to what your heart can hold.

I read a quote once that described motherhood as having your heart walk around outside of you and its the truest of truths. You feel that child's happiness, their sadness and their pain and find you would do just about anything to keep tears at bay.

The thing that I could never really get across or express enough is the love and the emotions that come along with this new life. There are no words to describe how you feel when you pick up that tiny, helpless little being for the first time and you immediately forget what life was like before. The feeling you get inside when you  watch your child's face light up as he experiences something for the first time.

There are no words to express how you feel inside when your sweet baby call you by name or tells you, "I wuv you, momma!" for the first time.

Those are sheer emotions that bear no name. There is no word or phrase that can truly come close to fitting that feeling that wells up inside of you. It's a raw and powerful emotion that embraces you tightly and gently. It is pure perfection.

As we both went our separate ways, I could not help but smile. I smile at beauty that lies ahead for her. I smile because that is simply what motherhood does to you. It brings a sense of peace and pure contentment to you life. I can honestly say, motherhood has completed and fulfilled me in a way I never expected.

I smile because I simply cannot imagine my life any other way.

Then, I smile just thinking of who introduced me into motherhood and simply because I get to see this everyday.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before.
The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
-- Rajneesh

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Why, hello!

Hello, third trimseter!

I didn't expect to meet you so soon. I didn't expect it to be 80+ degrees in March either.

I feel bad that I'm not documenting my pregnancy with this little guy as much as I did with Brady but life has been so busy, it's hard. Work is at the craziest time, the weather has been amazing and well, time is just going by too fast. I remember feeling like the 1st trimester was never going to end. It was such a rough and scary time, I am feeling more than incredibly blessed that I am sailing into the home stretch.

I am feeling great though and I'm afraid I'm going to jinx it. I've gained half the amount of weight so far that I did with Brady, no swelling so far and carpel tunnel is almost nonexistent. At this point with Brady, I was swelling like the stay puft man and carpel tunnel was awful! I would like to avoid both of those if I can! Other than being huge and having back pain, I am feeling good!
I was just thinking that I was not having many cravings until I realized that I've eaten peanut butter and banana toast almost everyday. Oh...and fruit loops. Those are pretty awesome too. I could live on chicken salad if given the choice too.

I'm getting ready to sign up Brady for a sibling class at the hospital and I'm excited to see how he'll do. He's getting so big and he understands so much more than I realize. I really am excited for my boys to meet but I'm embracing our time together.

As I get closer and closer to my due date (which I do not believe I will make it too. I said the same thing with Brady and I was right!) I am getting more and more nervous about delivery. I know it is not in my hands but to say I'm not nervous, scared or worried would be a lie. In my dr's words, there are some things I can control but past that, it's up to someone else. I am just taking it one day at a time right now and that is okay with me.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Soaking it in.

We've been busy round these parts. We've all been sick and this poor little guy included. He had his first real fever (he has had low grade fever once or twice but this one got over 101.) The poor kid has been miserable the past few weeks anyway with allergies. 

Mother nature is a bit confused and and we have had gorgeous, summer-like weather! I'm talking about 80 degree weather here people! I'm soaking it all in before our lives change this summer! I can't express in words how much fun he is and how much I love this age. His newest phrase, which melts my heart is, "I just love it!" 

 We've been doing lots of swinging high.
Lots of playing in the sand.  Nana and Papa surprised him with a sandbox which he has said over and over, 'I just love my sandbox!" or "I just love it!' Again, my heart turns to mush!
 Lots of blowing bubbles or for him, eating bubbles. 'I just love bubbles, momma' he says as he chases them around till they pop mid air or he squishes them with his toes!
He also likes to tell me how he's feeling. The other day, he was pretty sick and he told me, "I don't like to eat today!" I just love hearing the things he says and it cracks me up when he uses big words. Neighbor. Dandelion.  I love how he tells me how much he loves something or how happy it makes him. Sometimes, he sounds so grown up and I have to remind myself, he's not a little baby anymore. 'Yes, Grandma, I went to Nana's.' 
More than anything, I love how each night as we are snuggling before bed after his story, he takes my cheeks and squeezes them. He lets out a joyful chuckle and then gives me a big kiss. Love you, momma.

Life does not get better than that.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Mattel's Power of Play

Mattel is doing big things. I'm big on playtime and it's not because it's fun (though that helps too!) Coming from an early education background, I know how important play is for growth and development and want my child to learn as much as he can. I also know that there are too many children who are not encouraged to participate in positive play or do not have the opportunity for beneficial play. That is where Mattel is stepping in and I have to say, I love this idea. 

Mattel's Power Of Play Philanthropic Initiative is doing big things for our kids. Mattel has teamed up with several different organizations to bring the power to play to children in need nationwide. Some of those organizations include the Special Olympics, Make A Wish Foundation and Save the Children, (all organizations I have seen firsthand do great things!)

As a child, I remember running around outside, playing for hours on end after school. I want the same thing for my children. I know that sometimes life, busy schedules, sports practices and school commitments get in the way but this video has some great tips and more about their philanthropic initiative. 

Also, click here for a fun coloring play tip sheet! 

 Now, go play! 

I have been compensated for this post through my connection with MomSelect, however all opinions are all my own and I do believe that  play is so important to our children.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

A whole other world.

Holy cow. As I'm about to say this, we are approaching one of the most dreaded times of the year (daylight savings!) and I'm hoping that does not screw up anything but I hope I can safely say we are sleeping more than ever now!

Yes. You read that right. We are sleeping. We are ALL sleeping!!! Life with sleep is a whole new world!

I know, crazy right? I mean it only took him 2 1/2 years to figure out that sleeping is good! The best part of all of this besides the fact that momma is not going insane is that he is very proud of himself.

He ran into our room this morning and goes, "I sleep ALL night, momma!" I'm very proud of him too.

Brady has STTN for most of the last few weeks with a few exceptions but this is life changing people. I'm still tired most days but I'm starting to be able to STTN myself now too! Like I said, there have been a few nights where he has woken up but those are due to him feeling like crap from allergies (oh man, we are in for it this year if this is how they are already starting!) so that is understandable.

He might need 6 blankets, a horse, a kitty and a rubber spider in his bed AND three trash trucks (he is obsessed!) sleeping besides him in order to go to sleep but hey, I'm picking my battles here people!

Life with good sleep is a whole new world, I almost forgot what it is like! I'm almost spoiled enough now that when this new baby comes my world is going to be rocked!

Speaking of B2 (no, no names yet!) he is growing well! I had my 2nd anatomy scan since the first one he decided not to cooperate with anything besides showing his goods. They needed to get a better look at his heart and kidney's and we got the clear that it looks good! Whew! It was not easy though, the kid is in a funky spot, head down and face down so he refused to look at momma so no sweet profile pics for this kid's baby book. He's just nice and comfy in there I guess.

We discussed how everything is going well this time around (i started swelling by now with Brady) and hopefully that means delivery will go smoothly as well! I've been in a bit of a freak out mode that we have so much to do before this guy makes his entrance so I'm hoping we can at least get his room cleared out by the end of the month!

A name would be good too but that isn't looking good.

As a big reward for being such a big boy, we took him to Chuck E Cheese this weekend. Lesson learned. Never ever go back.

That is unless we want to feel good about ourselves as parents because I swear you will leave that place feeling like the most amazing parent EVER.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Those fleeting thoughts

There are moments when I look at this kid and I think, "Holy crap! That is MY kid!''

I have a little routine that I then go into.

I have a moment of panic where I can't believe I am responsible for this little life. Then, I go, "holy, crap! I'm going to have TWO little lives to be responsible for." (I still remember as we left the hospital with Brady, Blake and I looked at each other with the same puzzled look on our faces, both of us thinking, "I can't believe they are letting us take this baby HOME with us!'')

Then, I get all sappy and just wanna squeeze him and plant his sweet cheeks with kisses!

Being a mom is amazing. That is all.