Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009 was good to me

I started out 2009 just any other.

Then, February 27, world changed as the lines turned blue. Little did I know it would change me too.

In May, we learned we were having a boy (and daddy clapped his hands in joy), and that this whole baby thing was oh so real. My heart melted when I 'met' my little man for the first time, and immensely fell in love.

So, we decorated his room.

We got ready for his arrival! In September, I had two baby showers, and another in October. We were ALMOST ready for our little man to come next month.

(taken the week I went into labor)


he had other plans! On October 26, 2009, our lives and our hearts grew when Brady entered the world letting us know he was a feisty one!

Oct 29th, he got to leave the Special Care Nursery to come join me in my room, and I was overjoyed!

Then, we finally got to take you home the next day!

Brady, you were by far the best of 2009, and will continue to be our 'best' for years to come. We can't wait to watch you grow and each day we grow more because of you. I always knew I wanted to be a mom but you prove to me that it was why I was put here. Mommy and Daddy love you! We can't wait to share 2010 with you!

I started out 2009 as any other, and ended it as a mom!

oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! be safe!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Not a good first

Brady has been on Zantac for his reflux for about a week and a half, and the whole choking thing has gone away completely--but the spitting up has gotten worse. He literally pukes up everything he eats and it doesn't matter if is breast milk or formula. Both come spewing out like the exorcist. The other day a friend was over and she goes, 'huh, so THAT is what projectile vomiting is like."

The past few days have been pretty rough. Yesterday being the worst. He literally slept for a good two hours off and on the WHOLE day. He would finally fall asleep and then wake up crying. I held him in my arms just trying to comfort him. Let me tell you how much it sucks to see your child suffer and you have no idea what is wrong or how to make them feel better. You basically feel helpless and like you suck.

I had to bring him to the dr's office to get a rotovirus vaccination and while I was there I told the nurse that we have had a rough few days. My dr was out so she would let the dr covering know his symptoms. Well, she called me back on my way home to tell me to go to the ER.

So, today Brady has his first ER visit. I thought my first visit there would leave me to act like a blubbering mess but I handled it well. I think watching him being poked and prodded while in the NICU helped ease some of that. Well, the catheter wasn't easy to watch. Luckily, he wasn't dehydrated, and his electrolytes were normal. They looked at his umbilical hernia and it was okay too (sometimes pain/vomiting can be a sign that the hernia caused another issue)

Hopefully this was his first and last visit to the ER. They upped his Zantac and hopefully it helps!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Newborn no longer.

Somehow in the past two weeks this little man has grown up. He no longer looks like a newborn but a little man. A little chunky baby. Not the tiny, helpless newborn he once was. He laughs, and he smiles so big it melts my heart. He is such a good little man, and I love watching him explore the world.

Brady had his 8 week visit yesterday and I will post his 2 month pic later this week but as much as I hated to put him on medications so soon we had to try out Zantac. He has some awful reflux and there have been a few times he choked on it that it scared the crap out of me and at the end of it were both were crying (like 20-30 seconds of choking.) He has been on it for 24 hours and no coughing/gagging/choking episodes yet. He also got his first set of shots, and it was painful for both of us.

He also has something called an umbilical hernia. Basically, his belly button looks like massive outtie when he cries or moves around. It generally goes back in or heals by itself by the time the child is a year old, but sometimes can take up to three. It looks kinda freaky and is pretty common from what I understand.

We officially have daycare figured out. We have family watching him 3 days a week (im hoping it works out) and a mom of a little girl the other days. Whew. I am kind of in denial that the day that I go back is approaching, i kind of try not to think about it.

Today, I had my 6 week post-partum visit with my ob that I had mommy brained on last week. found out some disheartening news that my risk of another hematoma if i have another c-section is pretty high. OH CRAP. Somehow that next baby needs to come out of my nether regions.

Anyway, I figured taking Brady wouldn't be a big deal. HA. I WAS. SO. WRONG.

He slept the entire time in the waiting room while some other new mom talked my head off. I got to my room and the nurse tells me to get neked. So, here I am in my lovely paper gown when he starts crying, and i smell a familiar stench. Oh, crap. Literally crap. He is screaming, and I figure the only way I can get him calm is to change him. So, i put him on the exam table only to find out that today of all days he decides to have his first blow-out. It was not good. Down his leg, up his back. (I am now cursing them damn shots) and luckily I was a good mommy who packed extra clothes. Um, yea, his shirt was damp (damn water bottle). So, i can't just let him sit in just a diaper or worse yet just a pair of pants unless i want social services knockin at my door or looked at like some lunatic. So, there I am neked, in a paper gown in all my glory with a damp smelly baby. At least it wasn't projectile huh? (by the way, he slept the REST of the day...he has great timing.....)

All your preggers sure you want that baby to come out? :)

oh, and i swear not all my stories will be poo related but i can't guarantee that many of them won't be! he he

File this under, 'hmmm....didn't expect that.'

So, things have been extremely busy around this household. Last night we had a moment that I really only can say, wow....didn't expect that at all. It was around 11 and I knew he pooped and I hated waking him. I put him on the changer on the pack and play and started cleaning him up. I dropped something and I stood up and it was then it happened.

Projectile poo.

Yes, i have heard of crazy things happening but I witnessed this atrocity with my very own eyes. I had his little legs in the air getting ready to put on the new diaper and before i knew it I had poo flung on me.

that is one moment I didn't expect quite yet.

I had my 6 week post partum check-up last week only to get there and realize my appointment was at 10 not 10:45. Oops. Major fail. No longer will I rely on my BRAIN to remember appointments.

So, note to self. Wear poncho during diaper changes and get a damn calandar already.

Monday, December 14, 2009

It's you not me

Dear weird thing that happened to my body (also known by those medical peoples as a hematoma)

Well, I wish I could say that it was nice to know ya but really it hasn't been. You came into my life 5 weeks ago and you out stayed your welcome.

It might sound harsh but I won't miss you and I don't want you to come back.

Have a nice life with someone else. It's you not me.

So happy you are gone,


Thursday, December 10, 2009


Where are your nursing tanks from? Are they really much better than a normal tank top with a shelf bra?
Target. They were the cheapest (16.99) and best quality. Yes, these are made for nursing, and doing so somewhat discreetly. I wore them with a robe and it worked out great at the hospital! It works best because you don't have to show your belly and after a c-section it's just easier not to mess with it!

Were you able to wear sweats/pjs after your c-section?
yep, it was probably the only thing I wore. I did spend the first night or so in the hospital gown until I was given the ok to shower. Low comfy waistbands are the best for a c-section!

Any advice on c-sections?
Get up and move! I know it sucks, and you would rather punch someone in the eye than get up and move but it really makes you feel better faster. Also, my OB ordered something for me to wear that looks like a girdle--called a binder. I didn't get it for a day or so later than I was supposed to and my OB says that is one way to prevent getting a hematoma. I wonder if I wore it sooner if this would of still happened?

Let people help you. That is a hard thing for me to do, and I had to welcome it when I got home. Also, take it easy. You just had major surgery so doing things you did before won't come easy right away--that one I had a hard time with.

Oh, and not c-section related but SLEEP when the baby does. It really is hard to when you have people in and out, and the house looks like a tornado hit, but you'll come to a point when you have to sleep.

In terms of diapers, would you suggest newborn sizes or mainly 1's?
Both. Only open one package at a time because you should at least be able to exchange them. I bought a few newborn thinking he was going to be a chunker, and with him weighing only 7 lbs 5 ounces at birth, he just started wearing size ones last week.

On breastfeeding......
It is not the easiest thing in the world but my biggest piece of advice is to nurse right away. With him being in the NICU, I was told to pump, but the mean nurse I had the first night (the ONLY nurse I didn't like) told me to wait until the next day because I had a rough surgery and needed to rest. I think that is what started me off on a bad note. I also say that if you are dead set on doing it, don't give up. It is very hard especially when you have a baby screaming at you because he is hungry.

What is this honey thing all about?
Honey is said to have natural healing properties. It was funny because I was actually watching the show, 'the doctors' on TV last week when they were talking about this. It has natural antiseptic properties and has been used in treating wounds for a long, long time. On the show, they talked about Medihoney. It was then that I thought they might be onto something :) What is really amazing is that it works on things that doctors have tried 'modern' approaches to, and nothing worked. On Tuesday, my opening was .8 cm, and by today, it was closed and scabbed. My nurse was shocked, and when I told her I had been putting honey on it per Dr's orders, she was amazed. By Monday, I should be completely healed! (by the way, isn't wound a weird word. I hesitated using it because to me it's a weird word, lol)

Will you have a c-section next time and are you afraid to because of the complications?
I think it might be one of those things that I don't think I will know until the time comes. I do not want to have to go through this again. Granted, I would deal with it like I have been if it would, but this time I will have another child to think about. During labor, the nurse said that there are two big reasons why you don't' dilate. a) Your contractions are not strong enough or b) the baby is too big.
Well, my contractions WERE strong enough, and my baby was average sized so who knows what happened. Luckily, even though my water broke and he was delivered almost 24 hours later, he never went into distress and my fear is that next time, it might happen. I don't want another c-section by any means, but I also don't want another episode of my baby being whisked away to the NICU. I guess we will see what happens when it's time (and no not anytime soon, lol!)

Is there anything you wish had gone different?
Well, that is a long one. When I look back at Brady's birth, sometimes I get emotional. I was given extra drugs because the epi wasn't working right for me. I felt that first cut, and while I was about half numb, it hurt. Once Brady was out, they gave me something that they told Blake was the strongest they had. I remember Brady being pulled out because I could hear him crying after they cut me open (which is crazy and amazing at the same time), and I started getting teary and excited. I remember them saying he was really cute, and then I heard him screaming. I remember them weighing him and blake seeing him for the first time. I am glad I have that because that was a special moment. One that I will never forget.

After that....a big ol blur.

Brady was whisked away to the special care nursery because of his lungs, and when I was wheeled into the recovery room, my family came in to see me. They told me they were able to go see him and that he was adorable, and perfect. (They let the grandparents see him but normally there is a two person max. in the special care nursery) I remember saying that it wasn't fair they were able to see him and I didn't. In my drug induced state, I think I pouted. I saw my baby for the first time on a pic from my moms phone. That is the part I have the most trouble with....and it doesn't help that I didn't get to hold him until the next evening. I was wheeled on the way to my post partum room to see him and that part was fuzzy. I remember them saying they needed to keep him calm and happy so he didn't get all worked up....but what I remember most was that I couldn't hold him yet since they were still worried about his lungs (and I was on some heavy drugs), and I didn't get to feed him. In my mind, I pictured him being put on my chest after birth and we would ooh and ahh at him, and then we would try breastfeeding.

I remember waking up the next day and looking around expecting to see my baby in my room, and I didn't. It was then that I lost it (especially because the last thing I had heard was he was having trouble breathing), but when I was finally able to see him and hold him for the first time, and he looked at me with those big eyes of his, it was all okay. I can't change what happened, and I have to accept what did happen, and in the end I am okay with it because I have my happy and healthy little boy. That is what I am most grateful for, and will never take that for granted.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Do a little dance!

Which is exactly what I am doing right now. A little jig. Come on dance with me, it's kinda fun!

Ok, why are we dancing you ask? My dr. is letting my wound close! Granted, I still have to put honey on it for a week, and the nurse will come a few times before I go back next week but that is better than everyday! YIPEEEEEEE!

So, hopefully within a week, I will be all healed and then the real dancing can begin! :)

My sweet little munchkin is 6 weeks old . He is growing like a weed, and time is going by way too fast. He is becoming his own little person as he smiles as you, and looks so intently at you. He knows my voice and that is the best feeling in the world. He will look at me and smile and everything is right in the world and all that I went through is soooo worth it.

Sadly, our daycare situation is all screwed up. I won't go into the boring details but one of the places isn't working out last minute and I am trying to find him somewhere to go. It sucks because we knew this other person and now I have to find a place to hand over my little baby to a complete stranger. I can't even think about it too much or I find myself in tears. I wish this was going to be easier but I knew in the beginning it was going to be hard. I think I would give anything to be able to stay home with him at least a few days a week!

I miss him after not seeing him for a few hours while he is napping, it's going to be a hard transition! Someone told me today, you sound like a true first time mom. It got me thinking, that I am his mom, and I am different today because of it. Granted, I am still the same person, I am just better because of him. I have grown up, and I have grown as a person.

Some days I totally am rocking the mom thing, and others I am winging it. Leah hit it dead on when she commented on a post-- 'Don't you feel super smart and completely clueless at the same time lol?'


I have answers to your questions coming up so if anyone else has any....shoot! :)

Thursday, December 3, 2009

More from a new mom

Nursing tanks=greatest invention ever. Esp since you don't have to worry about cup size....

Pack a little more than you think you would need when you are packing your back for the hospital. I didn't expect a c-section but thankfully I tend to pack one of those ppl that pack 10 days for a weekend trip! Other useful things from which other moms have told me are lanolin, breast pads, pads, prep h, receiving blankets, outfits for the new baby. Personally, I found that comfy clothes with a low waistband (esp for those with a c-section), a comfy robe, chapstick and ponytail holders were crucial!!

Baby socks never want to stay on....

Leaving the house takes more preperation than I am used to. I am one of those throw my hair up and go kind of girl but now it's a pack the diaper bag, change his diaper and make sure he is well fed kind of thing.

Lactation cookies might actually work. I made them last week and have noticed a difference. I had a few busy days and didn't eat them and noticed Brady wasn't happy after feedings, and I pumped on a day after I had been eating them like mad, and pumped way more than I normally do. Brewers yeast takes a bit of getting used to though.....and next time I am adding cinnamon, and raisins.

Sleepers are a pain in the ass when you are changing a hungry baby at 4 am

A wipe warmer is actually very useful. Brady hates having his diaper changed, and these help. I mean really who wants to wipe their butt with something ice cold?

Stock up on essentials before the baby comes (diapers, wipes, etc.) You and your hubby do NOT want to run out last minute when you are lacking sleep. I got a ton of diapers, wipers, and baby wash cheap during Kmart's double coupon days. I believe they are coming back in Jan. Also, Target is a great place to double a manufactures and target coupons. I got some good deals that way too! Also, get gas drops and saline drops. I bought this from Babiesrus and it has come in really handy.

Babies always know when you are getting ready to eat. Never fails.

Speaking of diapers, make sure you tighten those babies...or you might have a mess on your hands.

Speaking of mess, boys always AIM down. Enough said. Combine that with said loose diaper=big ol mess!

It's pretty sad when your dog sleeps better than you. She snores so loudly when I am up feeding the baby and I swear she does it on purpose. You might actually despise a dog when you are changing yourself, the baby and the sheets because of a diaper malfunction.

There are days when getting anything done is just impossible. Then you want to celebrate when you finally get the baby to sleep, only to miss him a little while later.

Pregnancy flies by and Maternity leave flies by even faster. Days slowly turn into weeks.....and before you know it you only have a handful left...and you find yourself counting them down. Sadly counting them down.

Enjoy every coo, every cry and every moment. They are only this little for so long. I remind myself this at those 4 am feedings.

and if you have anything else you wanna know, pipe on it. Ask away.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

newborn pics

Pamela over at My Life Through A Lens, shot some awesome pics of my little munchkin. She is one talented girl! I highly recommend her!

Here are some of my favorites :)

I just love those squishy cheeks

I love how his eyes pop....

Nothing cuter than baby toes!

oooh, so tired!

Guess whose idea this was? Blake did this and it cracks me up. He is def his fathers son!

Gotta love him with his daddy!

Makes my heart melt....

I had to show you guys this poor kids hair. He has two--not just one but double cowlicks (is that the right spelling?) and a baby curly mohawk. I hope his hair stays curly so that it can keep up with those swirls. Blake has one in the same spot on the right and his hair never stays down!

Cute baby bootie!