i don't know where i got this but ever since Carrie posted a political ad he was in for Huckabee, and an email (that i shared pieces of below), i have found myself laughing at anything chuck related. But in all reality, i find that anyone who wears a spandex singlet and a mini-mullet deserves it all.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves
- Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen San Diego.
- When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names of his left and right legs.
- When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris Counted to infinity--twice!
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull
- Chuck Norris once visited the virgin islands. They are now The Islands.
- Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 % of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% pf whatever the fuck he wants!
- Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from march 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.