Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Mr. Chuck N.

i don't know where i got this but ever since Carrie posted a political ad he was in for Huckabee, and an email (that i shared pieces of below), i have found myself laughing at anything chuck related. But in all reality, i find that anyone who wears a spandex singlet and a mini-mullet deserves it all.

  • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  • Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves
  • Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
  • Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen San Diego.
  • When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
  • Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  • Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names of his left and right legs.
  • When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris Counted to infinity--twice!
  • Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
  • Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
  • Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull
  • Chuck Norris once visited the virgin islands. They are now The Islands.
  • Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 % of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% pf whatever the fuck he wants!
  • Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from march 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Now remember.......

1 comment:

Lauren said...

Haha...Mike LOVES Chuck Norris jokes. A year ago, he wouldn't stop saying them...seriously...hours on end!!!