Reconnecting

The past few weeks, sleep has gone from crappy to all out awful. It started as teething and moved to separation anxiety. Then, I heard the words I never expected my very independent, very particular kid to say. "Sleep in mommas bed, please!' The kid likes his space and has NEVER asked this before and after being up with him a few times, I caved. He slept till 7:30 which has happened a few times I can count on one hand in the past two years.

There were a few nights Daddy had to work late or overnight so I let him sleep with me again. The kid is so sweet and turned to me to say, "momma, I wanna sleep with you.'' meaning he wanted me to put my arm around him or 'momma hold my hand.'

How do you deny that? Oh man, oh man.

On Monday, we slept till 8:30, a time I have rarely seen on my sleep-in days.  It was glorious.

I have to laugh because I know we are starting an awfully bad habit but maybe last year during our nights of hell, this was the solution all this time.

  I have to say though, I don't know if it's the quality time we've had lately, the age he is at or what but I feel like we have grown closer and our bond solidified, not to say ours has lessened but I had let the craziness of life get away from us.

 The past few months we've had a lot of things going on  with the holidays, my pregnancy's ups and downs, the craziness of being a working mom and just the terrible twos!  I was tired with no help from the sleepless nights and the fatigue of pregnancy but to be honest, life was feeling monotonous.

 I struggled through the ins and outs of daily life. Each day felt like it would never end and I was left more exhausted and feeling guilty for not enjoying this blessed life I've been given. 

What I needed to just let go of all the crap that needed to be done or the crazy lists in my head but it's never that easy. There are mouths to feed and clean clothes to be worn. 

So, thanks to Daddy's crazy work schedule, we had a few 'dates' which we haven't had time to do with everything going on and I missed our little 'dates.' We even had lunch at a decent restaurant, made a trip to a kid's museum, enjoyed some yummy Italian food and enjoyed an oddly warm wintry day in January. 

It was just what the doctor ordered.

 Being a mom is not easy. We all know that and we all stop and think, 'Wow! Where did time go?" We vow to take more time to enjoy the little things but saying that is easier said than done.  While I try really hard, life does get away and it seems to go faster with time. I did this just the other day as I listened to my child tell me about his day at Nana's. Where did the time go? 

 Sometimes, I have to stop and remind myself that it's ok to let it go. It's okay for everything to be a mess or life to look less than perfect because well, that is reality. It's also okay not to live in the moment all the time. Actually, it's impossible for even the most ambitious super moms.

Sometimes, the hustle and bustle of life is what makes you appreciate it all that much more but sometimes, you have to say screw it and have some fun. Sometimes, the day is full of too many tantrums, tears or late meetings so you have to put the fun on hold but when the time calls for a good time, it's so worth it.