It's over....now comes the hard part

The last two days feel like they lasted a week. Just a little warning, this post might be very honest, long and potentially graphic. I'll start out by saying that I had wonderful care at the new hospital (St. Claire) and it was probably the nicest hospital I have ever step foot in.

My surgery was scheduled for Tuesday morning around 930, and I didn't get in there until after 10. I was a nervous wreck. Blake told me he put in a good word with Matt and he would keep me safe. That comforted me but saying good-bye to my baby was definitely hard. I knew that would be the last time I picked up sweet little baby in a while. Tears were shed.

They checked me in, admitted me and the nurse tried THREE times to get a damn IV in me and draw blood. I had to have someone else come in and take blood and another lady put in my IV. I have mini veins I guess because I had the same issue post-partum in the ER and she had to use a pediatric needle. I said good-bye to Blake, and they gave me something to relax me=a dose of awesomeness.

I woke up around 1230 grabbing my stomach and sheer pain. I'll be honest about that too not for sympathy but just as a warning. It sucked. Worse than my c-section pain. Worse than anything. I was not prepared for how much pain I was going to be in. Not one bit. I had no idea how the surgery went until Blake finally got to see me around 3:30, and that was when I found out they were admitting me.

Insert more tears. The ONLY time I had been away from Brady was that first scary visit to the ER with those stupid complications when he was 12 days old. They gave me a morphine drip and I felt a bit human again enough to cry some more.

Blake told me that the surgery took longer and my recovery might be more difficult then they had thought. He mentioned something about a cyst, scar tissues and pictures that the dr showed him. lol. I finally got the real info when I saw my dr later that night.

Basically, when they went in and found adhesion's. An adhesion is scar tissue that forms a connection between tissues or organs that are not normally connected. Part of my pain and stomach discomfort/issues was caused by this which can be common after a c-section. I actually have 6 cuts/holes in my belly when I was originally supposed to have 2. He had to add a few extra to get the scar tissue out, and attach the mesh to muscles so that it doesn't move. He did also see a cyst on my ovary too but that was not a big deal.

I had to laugh because of course a simple outpatient surgery would not be so for me.

It's good to know that once I heal I should be a new woman. My stomach already looks like I lost a lot of the puffiness in my belly and it's still swollen from my surgery.

Anyway, so that sucks. The morphine drip=red blotches all over my body. Last night, I was taken off that and allowed to finally eat a bit of real food, and around 5 I was sent home! Just as he was releasing me, Blake and Brady rolled in and I realized that I haven't experienced the hard part just yet.

My mom is here helping out and that helps but knowing that i can't do much with him right now basically is killing me. It is going to be a long few weeks. I think he knows something is up but watching him want her and comforts me/breaks my heart at the same time. We will all get through this with time, that is my mantra as of now.

He cut another tooth while I was gone and is sleeping much better (whew!) I have had overwhelming support from everyone and I wanted to thank everyone for all the kind words, help, and anything else. For all you momma's out there, please pick up your baby and give em a big old squeeze from me!

As far as now, I am doing much better. Still hard to get up and down but way better. All of this assured me that I am 100% dedicated to at least giving myself the chance to try a VBAC with our next child. This even more so--the Clinical Director of all the nursing staff came in for some reason and she was helping me put back on my sexy thigh high compression hose (yes, sexy!) and thingies to prevent clots, and without looking at my chart, said....'i bet this all is from your c-section, huh?' Hmm.....how did you know?