Sunday, July 18, 2010

A gift of smiles

Blake and I were talking the other day about how this year just has not gone right for us. As the optimistic person I am, I haven't posted about all of if because for one, I try not to think about it and try to keep things upbeat here but in reality a lot has happened. There have been four deaths (two who were under the age of 30, and all within 5 months) My brother got really sick and was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes. My FIL has had some issues with his heart/heart surgery. My mom lost her job. My surgery. All in less than 5 months. Add in sleep deprivation and a refluxy infant, and sometimes I wonder how we are sane.

After all the trials and tribulations, pain and tears, worry and woe we made it through. We are stronger. We are tougher. We never forget love. We never go to bed angry. We don't take for granted. Even those small things. We hold those we love closer, and shrug off negativity.

I'll be honest, it hasn't been easy. I think that all good marriages find themselves in stormy weather but it's just to make them stronger, weather us a bit.

Life might not always go the way you plan and we deal with each card we are given. When we get dealt a bad hand, it sucks but you know that the next one will be better. You wait for the clouds to clear and the sun to start shining. You wait for the next smile, or belly laugh from a tiny soul.

You find more time to snuggle. More time to smell the flowers. More time for what matters.

The first half of Brady's life was rough as the it was full of reflux, inconsolable cries, and a complete lack of sleep. When he turned four months old, things started to look up even though we still didn't sleep, we laughed a lot more. At almost nine months old, I look at him and see a happy, smiley, giggly baby full of personality and I think it is nothing short than a gift from God.

Matt passed away a day after Brady turned four months old. To me, it is not a coincidence that was when Brady changed. He is so full of life, and never stops smiling. He love everyone and everyone loves him. In fact, Matt was just like that.

Matt was always smiling, and I think I see a little bit of him each time I see Brady smile.


Mrs. Dirnberger said...

You are always so positive..sometimes I wonder how you are!!! But its nice to read your positive side everyday and makes me realize how good life is too:)

Maria said...

You have a great outlook on life Amy!

Sarah said...

it is absolutely true - you have to endure the hardships, sorrows and losses to make the positive experiences all the more sweet.