Tuesday, May 8, 2012

To my firstborn

Dear Brady;

I can't help but find myself overcome with emotion as it gets closer to the day our family grows. I look at you and I find myself lost for words yet overcome with so many that I can't get them all out. I look at who you've become and who I have become because of you. I am so proud to be your mother and I find myself blessed beyond measure each time I hear you laugh.

You made us a family. You, my son, gave me the most priceless gift in itself. You made me a mother and for that, I can't thank you enough. You've given me the most amazing gift and shaped me to the person I was meant to be. You've given me strength when I wasn't sure I had it inside of me. You have given me the gift of unconditional love which bears unwavering beauty.

There are days when I look at you and I find myself riddled with guilt. I worry about how you'll handle the big changes to come but then I see you do something that amazes me and I know you'll be just fine.

That is the thing, buddy. You are so strong, so independent and confident in each step you take. You always know exactly what it is you want. You are so wise beyond your years and so very bright. You have this memory that amazes me, which you get from your daddy! The other day, you told me that you wanted to go pick pears in the backyard, which was something we did LAST summer. You have this hilarious sense of humor and the most contagious laugh which compliment those charming little dimples.

You are so endearing and loving in the most sincere way. You ask for kisses and tell me, "I love you!' all the time. You have this boundless energy that never ceases yet you can sit still in an activity for hours. You are made up of all the best parts of your daddy and I but also pieces of your own individuality that shines brightly. Your personality is bigger than many adults I know. I find it hard to pick one thing I love about you but that personality of yours tops my list.

I look at you and remember where we started. We were both learning and we have grown together in this journey of life. I remember bringing you home and immediately being filled with so much love and I never thought it could get better than this beautiful moment.

Then, each day, it did. I found myself more enamored and in love with each noise, each stretch and even each tiny little cry that grew into dimply laughs and chubby legs that run with boundless energy.

I remember the first time you smiled.
 Your first tooth.

Your first romp in the snow. 

The day you took your first steps.

The day you said, "mama'' for the first time and so many other magic moments that are forever stitched into the grain of my soul. I never thought such a tiny little presence could create such magical and monumental moments but you have done that every step of the way.

You have made every ordinary task, a new adventure. 
 You are the what I look forward to when I first wake up and I race home from work to be greeted by your big dimply smile!

So, my love, as we take this journey together, know that we are going together and I will always be there for you. I can't promise you it's going to be easy all the time but I know there will be precious moments of happiness and joy and countless instances of boundless laughter. I want you to always remember how much we love you, even though I tell you 101 times a day. The other day you told me, "Momma, you my best friend!' and I realized I was right. We have a bond that is solid as they come and you will always be my baby no matter no big you grow.

You and your little brother will do great things and you'll do them together.  That I am sure of! I see you as a leader in this life and you are destined for great things. I wish I could explain to you know how this new life will change yours and how you will both be the best of friends but what I can tell you now is that he is the luckiest little boy to have a big brother like you!  I know you are going to make an amazing big brother and I can't wait to take this new step in life with you by my side.

1 comment:

Julia said...

what a sweet post, lady. I've been wanting to write the same type of thing but words just escape me. Love the pictures through the years....tear:(