Days like this.

If you reading this in Google reader and if you changed to my domain, I'm just at blogger for now (long story but helping out a friend!)

Ah. Some days, life is so good, you never want that moment to end. Sunday was one of those. It started out with him sleeping ALL NIGHT (he will tell you that too!) and playing quietly in his room.

I told him how proud of I was of him for sleeping so well all week. He later responds, 'Please, take me bye-bye!" How do you resist that?

 There was lots of swinging, big slides and lots of laughter.

There is something about hearing your child tell you he is so happy that makes your heart do flip-flops.

"I'm so excited, momma!' "I have fun!"

After dinner at Nana and Papa's, Brady fed their horses carrots and apples, Then, mommy let him 'ride' one of the horses. He was so excited! Feeding the horses (they also have goats and ducks too) is something he does almost every week when he goes over there (they watch him on Monday's!) but Mommy has not been lucky enough to witness this! He was such a pro and so proud of himself! 

                                                   

It's day like this that I want to bottle up. The look in his eyes and that feeling in my heart. I have always been sad to watch him grow up but I find so much more to love with each age. Our time as a family of three is limited and while I know it will only make our lives more complete, I find myself wondering how there could possibly be room in my heart. 

 Then, I look at him. Sleeping peacefully or giving me that look at only a child can give his momma and my worries dissipate. 

two

It would be hard to simply say that our lives have changed over the past two years but not a moment has gone by that we have not forgotten or felt like a piece of us was missing.

Two years ago today, we lost a friend and it changed us. Over the course of thirteen months, we lost too many more and I was sure life would never feel right again.

Two years is a long time but it still feels like yesterday. We slowly are trusting the happiness that we have been blessed with and in some ways, starting over.

I know there are days when I fear what will happen next or I feel guilty for feeling so happy but at the end of every storm, there is a rainbow. Cheesy as it may sound, I feel like that is the course our lives have taken.

after rain there's a rainbow, after a storm there's calm, after the night there's a morning, and after a ending there's a new beginning. -unkown

 The next few months are marked with more 'anniversaries' but while there may have been a time in the past when it had broken us down, we are resilient. I feel more confident than ever saying that. We've struggled a lot of over the past two years, more than I'd let myself admit but I know we are stronger than ever.

We will welcome our beautiful baby boy this summer and become a family of four. His life will just be beginning  but it marks so much more for all of us. We have so much to be thankful for and I'm so ready for this new chapter in our lives.

As we start this next chapter, I know we will not be doing it alone.

Not so wordless Weds.

I don't post videos often but I have to share a few. They are not so great quality (coming from my cracked IPhone that makes me think I really need to try out the video on my new camera!) but this is Brady's own version of Patty Cake.

I love this age so much. It is so much fun and I love hearing the things that come out of his mouth. I swear he makes us laugh every day!

The kid knows his animals but it's his expression that crack me up, especially the giant, cheesy laugh at the end.  

Woah

The past two nights of Operation Detox have not been as great as the 2nd night but better than it has been before. While we cut off milk around 7, he still managed to wake up with a soaking wet diaper which then led to changing his jammies and a wide awake little boy who wanted to party.

Friday was a tantrum of epic proportions. It was more so because he wanted to be in our bed than the no milk. I'm trying to be strong and it's not easy but I stayed consistent, even when he pleaded and begged, "Just a little bit of milk, plllllllllleeeeeasssssse!"

Last night it happened again but daddy took over and things went smoothly (which is so not fair!) but then a slight miracle happened.

 Something that never has happened in our house before.

 He woke up (and not at the butt crack of dawn!) and stayed in his room, playing quietly. The door was wide open with him free to roam the house and come wake us up but he didn't. He stayed in there and played. This might be something that many kids do and have done before but not my kid. He would wake up roaring waking anyone in his path.

I slept till 8 am and it was pure heaven.

I think he would have played longer but I went in his room to make sure no one swapped my kid with another.

Hello, sleep.

It's well-known that my kid is not the greatest at sleeping. How we he has functioned the last 2 years on crappy sleeps is beyond me.

Sleep for the first 10-11 months was nonexistant. He started sleeping better once he started walking. Then, molars came and sleep went to hell again and the cycle continued. Again and again.

Then this summer, all hell broke loose.

He wanted to be in our bed. He wanted milk. He wanted me to lay in his room, to hold his hand. To solve world peace.

Then, we started noticing a trend.

I put him to bed. Wah. Wah. Insert hell breaking loose.

Daddy or grandma or random stranger (ok, we don't let random strangers put him to bed but he would sleep better for a stranger than me!!) puts him to bed and he sleeps like a baby should. Well, mostly.

The one thing that was always easy for him (going to sleep, just not staying asleep) was turning into a big, fat fight. It was exhausting.

I knew something had to change.

That brought about, Operation Detox.

Hi. My name is Amy and my kid is a milk addict. He wants it in the morning, the afternoon, after naps and even before bed. Sometimes, he wants it in the middle of the night. The kid would be happy if he had his own damn cow!

I knew there would be crying, screaming and some shaking, which mostly came from me. We are on our 3rd day and the first two were pretty much what I thought they would be.

Typically, he would have a cup of milk before bed. Then, that would lead to a 2nd cup. Then, we would start the rest of his bedtime routine and he would wake up 1-34,3433 times in the middle of the night asking for more. I knew that if we wanted to ever sleep again or for him to ever get potty trained, the milk would have to go.

 It is his equivalent of a lovey or a pacifier.

Yep, sometime he slept with his empty cup, along with 3 choo-choos, a stuffed horse and a cat. I guess the kid likes to be surrounded by things he loves.

Mean mommy cut him off cold turkey. It worked so well when we cut out bottles, I knew this was the way it had to go. Well, not cold, cold. Milk is not off limits during the day.

Then, last night, a miracle happened. He went to bed. He stayed in bed all night. He did wake up at 5 am (Momma, I pee. That indeed he did.) but it didn't matter. He slept.

Now, lets all pray this sticks. I need a few months of sleep before my world is rocked again.

Until then, I'll search for a support group for momma's of milk addicts.

Randoms truths on a Thursday!



I got a new camera and am in camera heaven. I swear it is 1,000x's faster than my old camera and I kinda love it more than I should love an inanimate object. 

I love this kid and his quirky personality.

I do not love the fact that a broken banana or a misplaced train track leads to tears.

I also do not love the fact that he feels the need to party in the middle of the night. I am pretty sure my kid could win the award for being the crappiest sleeper but just for me! He can somehow sleep great for anyone else. Not cool, buddy!

He though, told me yesterday, "Momma, I love trucks!" which we knew already since he talks about them 345,309,393 times a day. I'm in the process getting started to redo his room in attempts to make him want to sleep in there. This process involves sheets with trucks on them.

Yes, I sometimes resort to bribery enticement.

I think that even though I had Monday off, this is the longest week ever.

Some days, I feel like this baby is dancing right on my cervix.

Cervix is a weird word once you say it a few times.

I ate so much food in Tunica and Memphis this weekend, I am pretty sure I gained 10 pounds.

Fried strawberries are the most amazing thing ever.

I wish I had one right now.

Actually, I'd like a whole order. One just wouldn't do it.

I had a nightmare dream last night I had a 12 pound baby.

We are starting potty training this weekend. I may chicken out.

I am starting to get into organizing mode but lack the energy to do it. I also have no idea what color I want to paint the baby's room.

Actually, I would like to blink and it all be done.

If I could have that power, I would blink and be at home right now and not at my desk. It would be bed time in fact.

I bought a mug that is 54 oz. I am hoping that by drinking water out of it everyday, I will have nice buff arms.

I have two more weeks until my repeat ultrasound (since my last one yielded crappy results) and I can't wait to see the little big booger again!



The truth about 'momnesia' or not...

 I guess there is something to the 'momnesia' that people told me about in hopes of getting me through the hardest days. I didn't forget that feeling I felt when I first saw Brady for the first time and got to hold his squishy little face in my hands. I didn't forget how months of sleepless nights can make you crazy. 

Having been through this already, you think I'd be prepared for the crazy things that pregnancy can do to you, right? Enter momnesia. Apparently, it's real, well, kind of. 

I feel like this child is draining brain cells as I type and I certainly don't remember feeling this dumb last time. I don't know how many times I've heard myself say, "what was I doing?'  I seriously feel dumber everyday and think that Brady is starting to figure out how to use this to his advantage. Then again, I am sure part of this is due to two years of sleepless nights.

I forgot about the fact that boobs could grow to epic proportions. Brady obviously noticed as I heard him chanting, 'momma big boobs.' I know we didn't teach him that! 

Coughing? Sneezing? Yeah, don't go there. 

I actually did  for a brief second forget about the ridiculous comments people make. 

Are you going to have a third to 'shoot for a girl?' "You sure are getting big!" Those of course are my favorite for now until cankles set in later. 

I did actually forget how awful it is to wake up in the middle of the night to find your hand feels like a solid rock. I compare pregnancy induced carpel tunnel to Mr. Deed's dead foot. I forgot how sexy wearing wrist guards to bed can be!

 I didn't quite forget about all the time you spend running to the bathroom! I know where all the best bathrooms are in the greater St. Louis area and yes, I plan my day around them! 

I didn't forget though, how amazing it is to feel that little baby squirm around and those sweet little jabs. It feels a bit different this time though since I don't have an anterior placenta and I'm enjoying every second. These are the moments that make it all worth it. That I can attest to. 

Then again, ask me in a few months. I'm sure I'll have forgotten most of this. 

Just a few random tidbits

I am still in awe we are having another boy. Actually, I'm still in awe we are really having another baby! I'm so thrilled that Brady will have a buddy to play, show the ropes of the world and get in lots of trouble! I really am so excited to see Brady step into that role!

We have nothing done. I keep laughing because there is a treadmill, an elliptical, a desk, and a ton of bowling balls in his future bedroom! We need to install some sort of organizational something into his closet since what is in there is falling apart. The room needs to be painted and we actually need a new window too! Yikes! In the midst of this, I need to switch Brady to a new big bed (twin probably unless I can convince someone to get us a king size!) so that B2 can have his mattress. Lots to do! (Side note: If anyone finds any cute truck/car sheets...that was his request!)

I won't be working on it this weekend though! I'm taking a mini trip away with a few friends. I'm looking forward to sleeping in, eating good food and relaxing! I cannot tell you how much this is needed. Brady's sleeping has been awful lately and I'm just purely exhausted. I am starting to freak out that I am leaving my baby boy for three whole nights. I'm sure I"ll miss him more than he'll miss me since he has some fun stuff planned with Daddy, his Aunt and Grandma! The hormones don't help because I get all teary thinking about leaving him! 

I do plan on indulging in a bit of Southern cooking and BBQ. More than anything, I'm pretty pumped to eat her food. Bring on the butta! 

The weekend after next, we are going to attempt potty training. Insert a big scary face here because that is how I feel about it. 

Ah, I've started the daycare/preschool search. I'm not quite sure what we'll be doing once B2 comes but I've been putting this off for that reason. I decided that it really wasn't fair to Brady and started looking into a few. I'm hoping to send him a few days while I"m on maternity leave to give him a little something that is just for him. Plus, he needs to get out of the house. I'm nervous about delving into all the germs because we've been so lucky so far and he's rarely been sick. I'm excited for what will mean to him and what he'll learn! 

I can't believe all the changes that are too come. With change, brings good things. Good things are good!

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