Wednesday, August 25, 2010

How I remain remotely sane (at least for now)

I'm all about keeping it real around here. My life is obviously not full of puppy dogs and rainbows so I'll be honest about anything, and if you couldn't' tell life has been crazy. If you read my last post, you probably can tell I'm just frazzled. Work has been really busy, hectic and very trying. With budget cuts we are dealing with less resources and more the piles of work get bigger. I try to be positive but things are really bad at work right now in the current state that we are (no raises in the past 3 years, constant cuts on our benefits and health insurance) so it's hard to stay positive in that respect. Add in the fact that they moved us while I was on maternity leave and added 50 more miles a day to my commute and I'm just done.

I've been looking for a solution (new job) but there is not a lot out there. So, I stay here until something does come up and I try to stay positive (or sane.) I know I should just be thankful I have a job but there are days (like today) that I think about leaving and not coming back! (Don't we all??) The thing that keeps me here is flexibility (ahem..for that little one.)

I mentioned that we have a family friend watching Brady a few days a week. I know I had mentioned daycare and luckily (or not lucky?) we didn't have to put him in one. We interviewed a few of them and I didn't feel right about either of them (call it intuition) and we were in a huge bind already with no one to watch him and she came to the rescue for the time being.

I'm happy to have her but like I said, the social aspect sucks. I'm working on a solution to that. In a perfect world, I'd find a job closer so that I can work 4 ten hour days or a job that pays enough that I can work less hours :) We will see......or maybe I'll just win the lottery. Wonder which one will pan out first...ha!

I think that as a working a mom in general, we do get caught up in trying to do everything for everyone. I have to remind myself that I can't and it's okay if I let Blake fold the towels and he does it wrong (control freak...I admit it!!!) It's okay (even though I might dream about it) to let the dishes stay dirty. I admit it took me a while to let other people take over in caring for Brady. I had to let go of the feeling that they were not doing it the way I did even though their way worked and was just as good. I had to let go.....and I think as mother's that is the hardest thing for us to do.

So, in the meantime, I have found small solutions to tide me over. Small band-aids to keep me sane.
  • Time is going way too fast and my child is going to be 10 months old--TOMORROW. In that, I decided that every now and then (hopefully more than less) I'll take a day off and spend it with my little man. He needs that and so do I! This Friday, he has his last rabies shot (A-FREAKING-MEN!) in the morning and we are going to spend the rest of it at the zoo! I tried not to take any days off that I don't need as I want to save up for our next baby but I think that this is one of those exceptions to the rule. Take time and enjoy because they grow up too fast.
  • Don't take work home with you. I leave my frustrations at the door and snuggles and playtime are in order for the rest of the day! This is really hard on some days but I remember that I am not paid enough to take it home and that my family comes first.
  • Take time for yourself. Even if it's 15 minutes at the end of the day, you need some time to unwind and prepare for the next day of insanity. I recently starting reading again and even though I might pass out in the book, the 15 minutes I get at the end of the day make me feel a bit more sane/refreshed then the night before.
  • Accept help. I am not one to take for help even in dire circumstances. I can do it all. I am sure of it (ha, I laugh at that now!). Last Sunday, after months of awful nights and no sleep (thanks to the teething monster and the frienemy called separation anxiety) and more than nine months of broken sleep, I caved. Blake said that I must be tired to let him go but I did. He had his FIRST sleepover at Grandma's and he practically slept through the night for her (go figure!!) The next day, I felt refreshed and ready to take on the world. We both needed it. Since then, he has slept through the night TWICE and longer stretches.

So, that is my advice ladies (and gentleman?) Take a breath, take time for yourself, and smell the roses (or dirty diapers!)


Maria said...

Those are great tips Amy!!!

Jen said...

At one point, there was a possiblity of transferring to the downtown this still an option? Still not great, but cuts down on the 50 miles added to your commute.

Mrs. Dirnberger said...

I cried to this post! I feel like I just let the same frustration out by reading this post. I am trying to save vaca days too, but I think I need to just let them go and spend time with the little man (and big man)

Momma Wilson said...

great post mama! it's so true, we try to be everything to everyone - and it's not good. enjoy your day at the zoo with your little man. savor the time you do get to spend with him! those dirty dishes never grow older, your baby does:)