Your comments were great! Thanks, but I did want to clarify a bit. I guess my biggest worry isn't about delivery itself, but for the complications I had with my c-section. I lost a lot of blood, and was so close to having to needing a blood transfusion. I was weak, and pale as a ghost. I had to have a home health nurse come to do wound care for almost 8 weeks, and wasn't supposed to drive that whole time. I had to schedule outings around the nurse coming if I did want to leave the house. Most of all, it was the pain of being poke and prodded daily, sometimes twice a day, that makes me shudder. I am almost sure it is why I had so many issues with my supply as well.
The thought of having to go through that again makes me sick to my stomach, but it also makes me incredibly nervous and I am sure I will feel awful. Not for me, but for Brady. Having another baby around will already rock his world, and I won't be allowed to hold him for as long as it takes to heal? There is no way. No way. Plus, the hematoma can take 3 weeks to heal, or 30. You never know. The nurse practiconer at my OB's office said hers took SIX MONTHS to heal. SIX!
It is why I have thought more and more of trying a VBAC. Like I said before, I am not nowhere near ready for another baby yet, but I do want to be prepared when we do decide that we are. I have done some research on it, and hope it can be a reality but if not, that is ok. I will take things as they come, and hope for the best. That is all I can do.