Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A ray of light in the dark

I have tried to write something so many times but what do you say? Our friend died and it sucks? That was all I could get out. We keep expecting him to walk in the door or hear his laugh.

To say last week was hard is a big, fat, giant understatement. The amount of people that showed up for the wake was amazing. The line wrapped around the building for the entire night. Friends from grade school who haven't seen him in years, coworkers who called him a friend, and those who loved him most. That right there shows you the kind of effect he had on people.

Almost every single person talked about his infectious smile.

He had so many people that loved him. His parents, siblings, nieces, nephews.

His fiance.

His friends.

He has had the same friends since he was a kid. Blake and him met in kindergarten, and stayed friends throughout everything. He met many of his friends in high school, and throughout everything, they all remained friends. That doesn't happen often. They were blessed with that kind of friendship.

It is hard to lose someone, and it is even harder to see the ones you love most grieve, and we all do it differently. You really don't know what to do. You feel helpless, and it sucks. All you can do is be there. Cry with them. Laugh about the good times.

The other day, I saw a car weave in and out of traffic recklessly. I wanted to catch up to them and yell at them, tell them to slow down. It's not that important. Life is precious.

If we have learned anything this past week, it's to hold those you love just a bit closer. Never forget to say I love you. See each other often. Never take anything for granted.

Let me tell you, that I held that little baby close before, but now I barely want to let him go. The day that we found out, he was full of smiles and giggles all day even though he didn't nap with everything going on. All day, he was smiling for us when we cried. It was like he knew.

The day of the wake, I went to lie down with him to take his morning nap. I was dreading what lie ahead. I laid down with him, and he promptly put his tiny little hand on my cheek, and fell asleep.

He is a ray of light in our life. We are blessed in so many ways.

The road ahead is not going to be easy. We lost a friend. My husband lost his best friend. Our friend lost her fiance.

We will always look for him, listen for his laugh, and we will always miss him.


The Wilson's said...

I can't imagine the amount of pain you all must be feeling. I am so sorry for your loss.

Jennelle said...

Amy, I'm so, so sorry this happened. I can't imagine what you all are going through right now, and how hard it must have been to write anything about it. You're a great wife to support Blake, an awesome friend for being there for your friend/his fiancee, and a wonderful mother. Don't forget to let yourself grieve, too.

Sarah said...

Wow, they've known each other since kindergarten? What an unbelievable, devastating loss. It sounds to me like you're being an amazing support system for Blake and for your friends, but Jennelle is right, don't be afraid to let people hold you up while you grieve, too. I really hope that with time, all of your hearts will heal just a little. So sorry for your loss, Amy.

Lisa said...

I don't know how to say enough, how sorry I am for you and Blake and everyone who knew him. Simply tragic...

N. said...

I am so sorry for this huge loss in your, and Blake's, lives.

Maria said...

I'm so sorry Amy. So glad that you have little Brady to lift both of you up. :)