Operation Evacuation

I've been wondering what kind of birth I was going to have with our next baby before we even thought about having another. Heck, I thought about it right after Brady was born! His birth was traumatic, along with recovery. Then, eight months later, I had to have an incisional hernia repair and could not pick up my chunky baby for over three weeks!

When the worry subsided a bit and hope was found, I started wondering how the hell I was going to get this baby out! I knew that sitting down and chatting with my doctor would ease my worries but in fact, while I feel more educated and more prepared on the worst case scenario, my head is still swirling due to the fact there is no real clear answer.

Another c-section for me means lots of risks. If I have another another c-section, she would have to cut through the mesh that was placed to repair the hernia. While we don't know for sure, there is a good chance I would have to go back later to have another hernia repair. Also, just the sheer fact that the mesh is there increases my risk for infection post partum. Awesome, right?  After Brady's birth, I had a lot of adhesion's that were removed during my hernia surgery and I'll spare you the details but the difference was night and day. I had a lot of stomach issues that miraculously went away after the surgery.

Then, to add to the fun, there is of course an increased risk for the hematoma since I had a wound complication the first time. At 12 days post partum, I was rushed to the hospital, not once but TWICE because my incision opened (and I was then separated from my brand new baby boy!) and I had to have gauze placed inside it until it closed. I had a home health nurse that visited everyday and then my lucky husband got to shove gauze into my stomach! He told me the other day, he was SO not doing that again! Yeah. That was loads of fun! I felt like my maternity leave was kinda of ruined and I really don't want to have to go through that again. Also, it was concerning that my platelets were low that I ran really close to requiring a blood transfusion. It was all traumatizing in a way for me and after a long talk with my OB, we discussed VBAC in great length.

So, that is the plan. To at least attempt this baby to come out without having to cut me open. We won't know till game time how this will play out and who knows how this will go. In terms of possible success, I'm smack dab in the middle but I did have a lot going against me last time. I was laboring well and both Brady and I were tolerating it well but just not dilating. My water had broke the night before and I was starting to spike a fever which is not good and I was rushed to the OR.  Everyone was at a loss in why this kid didn't want to come out. I laugh now because it is totally part of this kid's personality! He is still stubborn!

 I'll be honest, I'm downright terrified of how this will play out. I just have to pray it works out best for me and the baby but in the end, my main priority is bringing this baby into the world the safest way possible. I have to put a lot of my faith into something I can't control and wait which I know won't be easy. I do know that it will all be worth it. I have to remind myself of that and I know I'm incredibly blessed to be in this position in the first place. I know more than ever. Boy, do I ever know that.

The little one that could

It's been a crazy few months. It's hard to believe that we are blessed with this new life and it's been full of it's own ups and downs. I honestly didn't think we would make it this far and I'm overjoyed.

4 weeks :I tested October 8th. Big fat negative.

Tested 10/10. Blake's birthday. Big fat positive.
My reaction: Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap!

Just shortly of getting that positive, I started bleeding. I had a chemical pregnancy/early loss the month before I got pregnant with Brady and started to think that was what was going on. I called my doctor and we set up two beta tests for the next day and then two days later. I felt like I was in limbo.

Pregnant? Not pregnant?

The first beta came back with good news: I was pregnant.

I was beyond thrilled but told myself that I couldn't celebrate just yet. My second test showed my levels were rising but my progesterone was a tad low. I was put on progesterone pills and the bleeding had stopped but it was still not reassuring in any way. I know they always say that some bleeding is 'normal' but when it happens, it stops you in your tracks.

6 weeks:
At 6 weeks, we had our first ultrasound. We saw a nice flutter of a beautiful heartbeat. I was starting to feel like I could be happy about this and then not two days later, I started bleeding again. This time it was worse.  I was crushed and not optimistic. I tried to stay away from Dr. Google but my mind wouldn't allow me to do anything but focus on what was going on. The past two years had been full of so many awful things, I sadly, figured this was how life is just going to be.

7 weeks:
A week after our first ultrasound, I had another. My nerves were shaken to say the least and I was about to run in there when she called my name. Then as I watched her turn the screen towards her, I braced myself for bad news. Then, what felt like years later, she turned the screen towards me and I saw the sweet flicker again. This baby, our baby was ok and the little heart was a fluttering at 176 beats a minute! A few days later, more than a weel later, there was no more bleeding.

11 weeks:
Then, yesterday, I heard the sweet swoosh on the doppler. I forgot how amazing that sound was. There is nothing more beautiful. Really, nothing, especially when I was truly feeling hopeless.

Now, we have more than hope. The past two years have been difficult but the beauty of motherhood has got me through it. I got a job promotion last week and more pieces of good news, I'm praying this means luck will be on our side from now on. I can't help but worry but that is life especially that of a mom.

 I sometimes still can't believe it and forget that I'm pregnant. It's been much easier symptom wise this time around. The nausea was bad for a few weeks and evened out which is crazy to me since I was sick half of my pregnancy with Brady! I've been really tired but what is new with a toddler?

By the way, do you know how hard it is to a) Get a toddler to stop moving and b) Have a toddler pose with a picture without having him throw it, eat it, or even hold it?

I'm eleven weeks and the first thought that came to mind mind after it all sunk in was how the heck is this baby going to come out, ha! That is a whole other post in itself! Oh, trust me, a whole.other.post. Sigh.

Look closely

Lots of details to come!

A long week

Whew. It's been a long week here. I'm not sure if this has been national news or not but a horrific crime happened a mere 8 miles from my house when a mother reported her 13 month old child missing and then later confessed she beat him to death. I think I can say it outraged and moved our community and as a mother, it hurt me in a way I cannot describe. I think Brady looked at me like a lunatic when I ran home and hugged him so tight that but when you become a mom, I feel like your heart has a place in it for every child. I hope that through this tragedy, we can raise awareness against child abuse. Maybe we can help save a child like Tyler and I know sometimes we feel overwhelmed, like we can't make a difference but as a social worker whose job it is to provide resources, I see firsthand how a small piece of information can go a long way.

Ugh. Ok, so back to life here in this imperfect household. Not like this compares in any way but then Brady got sick and got his first round of antibiotics this week due to a nasty sinus infection/respiratory crap that is going around like wildfire around here. Our entire house is on antibiotics. We should get a bulk deal, for reals. I'm amazed we've made it two years (well, he did have some in the hospital after his birth) without antibiotics. I am thankful for that but know it won't be the last.

I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week. I'm in denial that winter is around the corner and have not even broke out the coat even though today it got pretty cold!

This age is so much fun but it's hard. The things that come out of his mouth make each day like a new adventure. I call him all kind of pet names and you'll hear him walking around going, 'Oh, honey!' The one thing I am so waiting for is those three magic words. I tell him I love him 100 times a day and I keep waiting but I know the day it comes out of his mouth will be one of those moments I never forget.

Remember post after post about his diaper issues and the damn yeast rash from hell that we've battled over and over? Well we found a solution. Costco wipes. Yep. Since we've used them, no yeast. I can't belive it was that simple. He's still had some eczema but I have my own theories on that!

I know I haven't updated about one of my last posts asking for prayers and I will post more in a big post but I can say, all the prayers worked. I think we are more thankful this year than ever.

The weekend. It's here. I'm ready. I'll leave you with a video of my kid. Since we got this Leapfrog toy, the kid has been able to ID half the alphabet. The pronunciation kills me though. Bubbleyou (W) is by far my favorite.

Last thing and an important one at that. Please pray for little Olivia. They found out recently that even with the bone marrow transplant, she had a 50% chance at relapse. Read her blog and you will be a changed person. It's not fair that kid, a baby, has to go through this. Every night, we pray for her and as they gear up for her transplant, prayers are needed more than ever. Pray hard, my friends, pray hard. 

Happy Weekend, all!

Two is the new three.

You know those doors that say, "Emergency Exit only?

You know the ones that have 'alarms' on them or the sign on the door says so?

Guess whose kid decided it was a good idea to push that door open?

The funny thing is that I was right next to him but the naive mommy in me never thought he would try to do that! Ha, the two year old wins again.

That was fun.

I was then called, "Mean mommy!" because I made him get in the shopping cart so we could run away faster and hope that no one saw what just had transpired.

Another fun thing about two? Well, my child is currently in the phase where he must do everything himself and apparently that includes making his own rules....one being that running away from mommy is the most genius game ever and it's even more fun when he runs into the street and gives mommy a heart attack.

Not cool, Brady. Not cool.

Then, there is the whole, 'Oh crap, they can talk thing' and you have to watch every word. I dropped something the other day and luckily, the worst that came out of my mouth was 'OH CRAP!' which is unusal for this potty mouth. It's lovely to hear your child say, 'oh crap!' over and over but I guess it could be worse, rgiht?

As he learns new words, I get new names, like "Old Mommy' which he says with this half grin on his face.

I hear three is harder. I am not sure I will survive. Send help wine.

At least it is all worth it when I hear him say something funny or a new word that he says with the cutest inflection or the sweetest tone, even if it has an extra syllable.

Get a Melissa & Doug 25% Off Coupon When You Take the North "Poll"

Melissa & Doug want you to tell them which of their educational toys you think is the best! I know a lot of you are big fans of their toys, as we are, so I wanted to share this with you! 




Just click on the image below to place your vote in the North "Poll!" You'll Get a Melissa & Doug 25% Off Coupon to use at MelissaAndDoug.com just for voting!

Ramblings and a request

Things have been kinda quiet here lately. Things have been kinda stressful around here and to be honest, we could use some thoughts, prayers or good vibes our way. I hope to post more when I can but could really use them. Life is like that it seems with us and hopefully as we get closer to the end of the year, we can leave the bad karma behind in 2011.

Brady. Oh, Brady. I'm still behind on what I think will be his last monthly letter. Partly because of everything else going on but partly because I'm still in denial my kid is two. He sure does act the part though.

Saturday, in what was supposed to be nap time, I found this.

 Luckily, it's paint and washable at that! I wish he could have at least picked a nicer color than poo brown. I swear I might have enough to add to that website. I can at least say that it all came out except the carpet but we'll have to shampoo those this weekend!

I have to add that no, I don't leave fingerpaint around his room but he decided to open the closet doors, climb on his chair and open the plastic container with his art supplies. Sneaky little toddler

I have to admit. I did have a hard time washing that off. Tiny prints just get me. 

 Halloween was a big hit here. He ran up to the houses like he's been doing it all his life. The candy was a bit hit too but that was a given!

 I learned that taking my kid to the zoo to trick or treat then attempting him to nap while hocked up on sugar is not a good mix for taking pictures later that evening. We had a deal from LivingSocial we need to use up and oh my. The kid never napped and let's just say, there is a reason I don't take my kid to those places often. He did look cute in his outfit though.

The kid is on a roll when it comes to words. I swear he gets at least 10-20 new ones a day, the newest tonight was nipple! At least the kid can properly identify all his body parts! He also runs to me when I get home from works and says, "Mommy home!" and it is a good way to be welcomed home! 

I'm in denial the holidays are approaching but more excited than ever to celebrate them with our little family! 

Kashi Kid Approved Snacks!

I'm a big fan of Kashi. Brady loves their fruit bars. He would eat them all day if I would let him. Kashi’s products are natural, minimally processed, and free of highly refined sugars, artificial additives, and

unnatural preservatives, which makes this mom very happy. 

 Recently, I got to try Kashi's TLC Peanutty Dark Chocolate Layered Granola bars and shared them with my book club, thanks to Moms Meet! Brady is not very picky when it comes to food, he'll actually eat just about anything. Just until recently, the one thing I have a hard time getting in him is oatmeal or granola. 

 Then, peanutty and dark chocolate goodness met granola. The kid almost ate the whole thing in one sitting which is pretty much a rarity since the kid never sits still. I've actually been able to get him to eat "Eatmeal' as he calls it! The best part is that each Kashi ®TLC ® Peanutty Dark Chocolate Layered Granola Bar has 7 grams of fiber and 4 grams of protein, making me feel feel good about giving it to my child but also indulging myself. I won't lie and say that I wanted to hide most of them for myself. I even got my junk food loving husband to eat them! They were a hit among the moms and kids from my book club as well! The layer of chocolate on top is so oohey and gooey, they are hard not to love.

You can find these delicious kid friendly snacks at most local grocery stores. Join the Kashi community online at and on Facebook! I highly recommend you check them out because they send yummy samples in the mail often! It was how we discovered their delicious fruit bars and they've been a staple in our house ever since. Some little boy might find them in his stocking this Christmas instead of candy since they are better for him and he is sure to gobble them up!

Disclaimer: I received this product for free from the sponsor of the Moms MeetSM program, May Media Group LLC, who received it directly from the manufacturer. As a Moms MeetSM blogger, I agreed to use this product and post my opinion on my blog. My opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of May Media Group LLC or the manufacturer of the product.