I'm Amy and I have a puker. We are getting ready to enter into our EIGHT month of puke
Looks like we'll be members of the puke of the minute club for quite a while longer (let's just hope he stops before he starts dating.)
That may not mean much to you if you haven't' dealt with a baby with reflux or even one that spits up more than others. It's kind of like a prison sentence you are waiting out but way more fun and less restricting.
I am eternally grateful that puke is all that we have had to deal with as I know countless other babies and kids deal with challenging medical issues. I think about that just about daily as I am wiping up another puddle of spewed milk and leave my complaining for things like the heat, and my lack of tropical vacations.
Ok, so your baby pukes a lot. People look at me like I'm telling this trivial piece of information that doesn't really matter until they pick him up only to be covered in a pool of a white milky substance.
So, THAT is what projectile looks like, eh?
NOW you get it?
You learn to accept the fact that your house smells like old milk and your dog is trained to run to the faintest sound of a burp. (Gross but so true)
You pack blankets, oodles of burp cloths and 5 changes of clothes for a ten minute trip.
You don't even flinch when it flies out (even if it's in the middle of a burial for your great-grandmother) and catch puke faster than that guy who plays baseballs attempts to catch a flyball. No mitt required.
You learn to carry your child outward so you can aim where the puke goes.
Rugs are replaced with wipeable mats and the word 'steam cleaned' or 'stain remover' are knights in shining armor.
You steam clean your couches only to wonder what the monetary value of the puke you just sucked out. (Hey, formula is NOT cheap!)
No laundry goes untreated, and expect to wash enough for a small army.
A pukey newborn is sweet but an 8 month old? Well, that is just a not-so-hidden talent.
Puke comes in all different flavors. Milk. Green Bean. Squash. Apple. Banana.
His party trick is to see how far is can go....and can clear a room faster than the speed of light!
You invent works like puk-i-ness, pukies, puke-tastic, and pukey, and write crazy blog posts using every single one of them.
I may make light of his pukiness but we have had our days when the tears are louder than the laughter. Then he pukes again and you move on. While your couch may be stained, your bed smells like stale milk, and you get lost in the pile of laundry, you watch him smile through it all and none of it matters.