Holy moly. I can't believe it's been two months since I've posted. That makes me super sad that I've missed out on documenting so much. I'm hoping to get back into things now that life feels like it's slowing down a bit. I say that but before I know it, life will be crazy once again but it's different now with a almost 4 year old and a baby that's not so much a baby anymore.
I can't post any pictures because my computer crashed right almost when we got back from vacation so I've been without my computer for almost two months. Blake was almost able to retrieve oh,just EVERYTHING from the past year (so basically, Benny's first year of LIFE!) but something went wrong and it wiped the hard drive clean. Spic and Span. Even our vacation pictures which broke my heart as much as everything else did. It was not a pretty moment during those realizations.
Oh, AND the freaking external hard drive failed too. We had just talked about saving it elsewhere and backing up on discs but then this happened and don't you worry, as soon as I have it in my hands, I will be doing this very soon. My laptop was sent to a lovely friend way on the other side of the world (really from Missouri to Cali!!) and he was able to get everything. Hopefully, I'll have it back soon because posting or doing much without it is well, impossible!
Just a little recap. In the past two months:
Benny went from baby to toddler. I mean, what?!?
We went on our first family vacation and it was amazing.
I took Brady to his first big kid movie
Benny has decided that weaning is not cool and drinking anything else is a big joke. Though, he has recently decided that the cheapie cup I found in a bin at Target is the only one he'll drink out of. Unless it's someone elses!
Listened to Benny learn new words and it's amazing to me how he has grown.
Brady started Preschool. Oh, my word. Bring on the tissues because man, that was something else. I have pictures for all of this that hopefully, I'm going to be catching up on soon.
I've realized how fast life is going and I need to document these rough, amazing, beautiful moments. I swear I blinked and the summer is over. I usually and anticipating and ready for jeans, hoodies and all things pumpkin by now but for some reason, I'm holding onto summer this year.
Fall means my baby will be FOUR.
My littlest will be closer to 2 than 1.
I just want to hang onto now for a while. It was during vacation that I looked back and soaked the entire week of sun, sand and time with my babies as the distractions from the everyday craziness of work, life and social media were gone. It was how I wish everyday could be. Just my family, embracing life. It wasn't all pretty or joyous but I surely took home a little lesson.
Also-how is next week September?
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Life lately: June edition.
Whew. I thought once the birthday madness blew over that life would slow down but man, I need some extra time! Anyone have some I could borrow?
Benny turned one. Yep. One. Hard to believe but man, my heart can tell he is growing up. This picture. Oh, this kid. You have no idea how the words fail to come when I see his sweet little face sometimes. He is my little peanut and I think at times, I forget he's not so tiny anymore.
Speaking of my big kid, he is just so funny right but going through a defiant stage. We have tried a 'good behavior' jar I saw on pinterest but it's not working so well. He's so smart, so sweet and so much still my baby but the kid will always be my spirited one.
We took our first trip to the pool this weekend. Really, it was a test to see how the kids would do when we hit the BEACH in oh, 18 days! I'm really excited but REALLY nervous about flying and traveling with them. Plus, we are staying with my in laws in a place there and it's just, yikes. I can't wait though to see Brady's face when he gets to run into the water for the first time. Can't.wait.
I'm working on Benny's one year post and a little bit about his party but man, I find myself lost for words. I just wish I could have slowed the year down for a while but I can't imagine being full of so much joy in such a long time. Being a mom of two is hard, it's exhausting and overwhelming when there is only one of you but I can't really imagine life any other way.
Benny turned one. Yep. One. Hard to believe but man, my heart can tell he is growing up. This picture. Oh, this kid. You have no idea how the words fail to come when I see his sweet little face sometimes. He is my little peanut and I think at times, I forget he's not so tiny anymore.
On his birthday, we took a trip to Grant's Farm and he had a blast. The kid loves animals so it was perfect for him plus, it was the last place we went before he was born. It was fun to return a year later as a family of four! We had a birthday party the next day, which I failed to know at the time I scheduled it, was also Father's Day so we kept it small with family and a few close friends. It was hot but it was good. He wasn't so much into the cake smashing but he sure did have a blast!
I loved that we saw so many baby animals. Kinda fitting, huh?
At this 12 month visit, he was almost in the 10th percentile. He's never been that high, which is great but he's still small. He had his endocrinologist appointment last week and things are still good. He hasn't had to change his dosage and he's still on the lowest dosage possible. We have another visit in September and I think he'll be able to move to twice a year! There is some bad news and I'll go into more of it later but he is going ot have to have another surgery in the fall. My head and my heart is not quite ready to go there yet but I have a post I've been working on about it. It will be more simple procedure this time but he is still my baby and I just don't want to have to do it again. Sigh.
Anyway, back to the good stuff. I kept wondering when the heck this kid would get teeth and his first one popped around 11 months. I think my response was, 'about time!" He has two more on top that just came through too and I'm pretty sure more are on the way.
He is such a ham. Squeals in delight over just about anything, is so incredibly silly and loves to chat on his 'phone!' but the biggest thing is that the kid sleeps. I asked Blake the other day, "Do you think he sleeps too much?" After he has been sleeping through the night for 11 and sometimes 12 hours STRAIGHT. This is epic people. Brady has NEVER, nope, never slept that long in his life. Blake's response? Nope, we are just used to a kid that doesn't sleep."
Let me tell you. Sleep is SO good. Oddly enough, there are nights when it is the big kid that wakes up.
We took our first trip to the pool this weekend. Really, it was a test to see how the kids would do when we hit the BEACH in oh, 18 days! I'm really excited but REALLY nervous about flying and traveling with them. Plus, we are staying with my in laws in a place there and it's just, yikes. I can't wait though to see Brady's face when he gets to run into the water for the first time. Can't.wait.
I'm working on Benny's one year post and a little bit about his party but man, I find myself lost for words. I just wish I could have slowed the year down for a while but I can't imagine being full of so much joy in such a long time. Being a mom of two is hard, it's exhausting and overwhelming when there is only one of you but I can't really imagine life any other way.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Eleven. {bennett}
Oh, kiddo. It's been a BIG month. Eleven must be your lucky number, huh? A lot of firsts. A lot. 
Likes: His family, Georgia (his dog,) animals, playing with Brady, being with the big kids, berries, playing outside, wagon rides, chasing Brady, wrestling with Brady, stealing Brady's sippies, nursing, making your 'mean' face, crawling/climbing on things you're not supposed to, being tickled, kisses, giving kisses. You just love everything! You and Brady have this little game that you do that you find to be just downright hilarious. You both crawl and you chase each other.
Dislikes: Sitting still, diaper changes, being left alone, being splashed (in tub or water table)
Yummies/Food: Oh, boy. This kid can eat. Favorites are still any kind of berry, blackberries are on the top of the list. Grilled cheese, bread, peas, macaroni and cheese (plain noodles, not so much,) and hard boiled eggs are top on your list. There isn't much you don't like but some days you can be kind of finicky. You're still nursing like it's the best thing in the world but you have really cut down on your sessions and it's nice but sad at the same time. A whole entire post will be coming on this because it's really been amazing to almost (one more month, buddy!) make it an entire year. Going into it, I had no idea how long we'd make it and here we are. You tend to want to snuggle/nurse first thing in the am, you'll have two bottles at the sitter and then you might nurse when you get home but sometimes you just wait till bedtime.
Sleep: Well, this is huge kid. Huge. Mommy moved you to YOUR bed, finally. No more excuses and mommy was just ready and tired. Plus, I think you were getting woken up from your brother in the mornings and you were to restless. The first night in there you STTN, there were a few nights you've gotten up once or twice but for the most part, you sleep and sleep well. I hope I don't jinx it but it's been awesome. All of this good stuff even when you got your FIRST TOOTH! I can't believe it but FINALLY. Looks as you'll be getting more pretty soon too.
Personality: Your personality keeps on growing and you are just a ham. You still love to do anything your brother is doing but you have this recent obsession with the fireplace hearth and it makes mommy nervous/crazy. You crack up when you get up there, it's hard not to laugh. You make this 'mean' face and I die everytime I see it. It's hard not to chuckle at it and along with it you make a snorting nose. Hilarious. You are just so silly and I love watching your personality grow.
You do this crab walk thing when you get outside and you only do it outside. Don't wanna get dirty, eh?
Milestones:
SLEEPING in your crib and through the night.
WALKING.
Blow kisses
First word. Doggie and Georgia. Georgia comes out only in a screaming, high pitched sound and it's cute as can be. I didn't believe Daddy when he said you were saying it but sometimes it's clear as can be.
First ice cream cone. I believe it was MY ice cream cone till I let you have a lick and you claimed it as your own or had a death grip on it and I wasn't able to get it back. Loved it.
Oh, sweet boy. I can't believe you are almost one.
Nine months {bennett}
Likes: Mommy, nursing, eating, anything in puff form, playing with doors, opening drawers and pulling things out, the dishwasher, the dog,
Dislikes: Sleeping alone, being away from mommy,
Yummies: Benny boy is still nursing up a storm. While he loves to nurse, kiddo loves his bottles. He gets this giddy laugh when he see's me packing them up and it's adorable. You are starting to really love table foods. Cheese is one of your favorites and will shovel it in like there is no tomorrow. I gave you some strawberries this month and lets just say they were an obvious hit.
Sleep: I'm not sure I've ever mentioned this but Benny, you are the biggest cuddle bug that you even love to cuddle with your blankies. You love to hold onto one while you sleep, the softer the better. It's precious. Not officially attached to one but it's cute and sweet. Your sleep has gone a bit downhill this month but it was to be expected after surgery. I've been really lax about it and your still in our bed which isn't boding well for your love/hate with your crib. You really spent a good solid 5-6 days straight with mommy and I'm not sure that helped your separation anxiety but we'll get back there. Mommy sure is a sucker for you!
Growth: At your nine month visit, you were 17.8 pounds and 28 inches (I need to double check this is right) but a week later when you got weighed for your surgery, you had gained more than 1/2 a pound! I've noticed lately we had to move into a lot of bigger clothes and are in more clothes coordinating to your age now. Six month clothes no longer fit. Rachel (sitter) said she thought you grew two inches while you were gone (you didn't go for a week after your surgery!) You do seem much longer but I think you're still just a little peanut!
Milestones:
Surgery: I hope this is your one and only my dear but you were such a big boy through it all. It was rough to see you like that and it hurt my heart but seeing you feel better fixed that.
You got a doggie! You love her too.
You are so much more interactive with your brother I've noticed more so this month that you guys are really playing together. I mean you would play with Brady before but now you're interacting back and forth and it's just the best thing ever. You light up around him and I know how much you look up to him already.
First trip to the park!
Dislikes: Sleeping alone, being away from mommy,
Yummies: Benny boy is still nursing up a storm. While he loves to nurse, kiddo loves his bottles. He gets this giddy laugh when he see's me packing them up and it's adorable. You are starting to really love table foods. Cheese is one of your favorites and will shovel it in like there is no tomorrow. I gave you some strawberries this month and lets just say they were an obvious hit.
Sleep: I'm not sure I've ever mentioned this but Benny, you are the biggest cuddle bug that you even love to cuddle with your blankies. You love to hold onto one while you sleep, the softer the better. It's precious. Not officially attached to one but it's cute and sweet. Your sleep has gone a bit downhill this month but it was to be expected after surgery. I've been really lax about it and your still in our bed which isn't boding well for your love/hate with your crib. You really spent a good solid 5-6 days straight with mommy and I'm not sure that helped your separation anxiety but we'll get back there. Mommy sure is a sucker for you!
Growth: At your nine month visit, you were 17.8 pounds and 28 inches (I need to double check this is right) but a week later when you got weighed for your surgery, you had gained more than 1/2 a pound! I've noticed lately we had to move into a lot of bigger clothes and are in more clothes coordinating to your age now. Six month clothes no longer fit. Rachel (sitter) said she thought you grew two inches while you were gone (you didn't go for a week after your surgery!) You do seem much longer but I think you're still just a little peanut!
Milestones:
Surgery: I hope this is your one and only my dear but you were such a big boy through it all. It was rough to see you like that and it hurt my heart but seeing you feel better fixed that.
You got a doggie! You love her too.
You are so much more interactive with your brother I've noticed more so this month that you guys are really playing together. I mean you would play with Brady before but now you're interacting back and forth and it's just the best thing ever. You light up around him and I know how much you look up to him already.
First trip to the park!
First Easter !
Oh, bubs, love you lots.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Ten months {bennett}
Oh. my. oh. my we are getting closer and closer to one. I just can't believe how fast time is going and I know I start each post like this but it's really like someone is pushing this fast-forward button. I'd love to be able to press 'pause' for one night. I have to say though, I'm loving you at this age. Not that I didn't love you at all the other ages and stages but you are just so full of life, it's a big blessing to be surrounded by your joy.
Likes: nursing/bottles at daycare, Still momma's boy all the way, food, berries, playing with the big kids, being tickled, playing with your big bro, everything about your big brother, going on walks, riding in the wagon, putting things inside of containers, the dishwasher, the dog, being outside, cruising around the furniture. One of the things you have done for a while now, still cracks me up. You'll crawl around with something in one of your hands so each 'step' you take, there is a loud 'clank!' You think it's just as funny as I do.
Dislikes: Diaper changes, being left alone, getting dressed, sitting still
Yummies/Food: Man, some days this kid takes down more food than his big bro. You have really started chowing down on the food here son. One night, I gave you some blackberries and you literally screamed at me until I gave you more. Needless to say, they are your favorite thing, ever. I think I watched you eat 10 in one sitting and still wanted more afterwards. Cheese is next on your list along with peas and bread. I've had a hard time finding things you won't eat lately but some days you're more finicky than others. One day you ate broccoli for me but refused it at the sitters. Some days you'll chow down on a banana but others you throw it to the dog. Yep, you've learned that trick fast, right? You love to eat yogurt and squeeze pouches of purees. Foods in puff form, yogurt melts and goldfish are your favorite snacks. Still no toofers but that doesn't stop you from chowing down. You eat pretty much what we do too. Beans, quesadillas, chicken, ham, peas, rice, barley,eggs, quinoa, strawberries, blackberries and blueberries.
The only thing I've found your not a fan of at all is green beans. Won't touch them!
Sleep: Naps are great. He takes 2-3 naps that last 1.5-2 hours. Sometimes, you'll take a 3rd quick nap in the early evening. We've had some really good nights and some really bad nights but you got sick (ack, again!) with a crappy virus and so that meant you were back in bed with us. It's been harder to get you back in yours and to be honest, I haven't tried that hard lately. Sleep is much needed around the house (especially since your bro is on a 4-5 am wake up kick lately!) so at this point, we are a big desperate. I'm by your first birthday you'll be sleeping peacefully in there full-time. Naps are still going well at home but not a great napper on the go. You'll fall asleep in the carrier or car seat but wake up easily. Transitioning you to your bed during one of those naps is a funny joke, right?
Personality: You are really turning into a big ham, You find things funny that should be and you laugh at things your brother does. You are so into watching others and take it all in. You are so laid back sometimes that when you do get an attitude, I have to laugh. You have started to get frustrated when you can't get something one or a lid on a container. I noticed it the other day when you were putting the lego lid back on and each time you'd miss it, you would clench your fists and scream! Hilarious!
You are a 'let's put anything and everything in your mouth' kinda kid. Brady never went through this as much or I have bad momnesia but you put EVERYTHING in that mouth. I'm pretty sure you gag on something or a piece of food at least once a day, if not more.
You are really interacting more with your brother and I"m seeing him trying to play with you more as well. I just love it.
Milestones:
Standing unassisted for longer periods of time.
Standing up by yourself!
Using the sign for 'more'
Waving to others while out and about
Clapping!
More vocalizations/babbling
(finally, right? Though, 8 and 9 are behind because somehow I saved 9 over month 8 and it's gone, super sad face!)
Likes: nursing/bottles at daycare, Still momma's boy all the way, food, berries, playing with the big kids, being tickled, playing with your big bro, everything about your big brother, going on walks, riding in the wagon, putting things inside of containers, the dishwasher, the dog, being outside, cruising around the furniture. One of the things you have done for a while now, still cracks me up. You'll crawl around with something in one of your hands so each 'step' you take, there is a loud 'clank!' You think it's just as funny as I do.
Dislikes: Diaper changes, being left alone, getting dressed, sitting still
Yummies/Food: Man, some days this kid takes down more food than his big bro. You have really started chowing down on the food here son. One night, I gave you some blackberries and you literally screamed at me until I gave you more. Needless to say, they are your favorite thing, ever. I think I watched you eat 10 in one sitting and still wanted more afterwards. Cheese is next on your list along with peas and bread. I've had a hard time finding things you won't eat lately but some days you're more finicky than others. One day you ate broccoli for me but refused it at the sitters. Some days you'll chow down on a banana but others you throw it to the dog. Yep, you've learned that trick fast, right? You love to eat yogurt and squeeze pouches of purees. Foods in puff form, yogurt melts and goldfish are your favorite snacks. Still no toofers but that doesn't stop you from chowing down. You eat pretty much what we do too. Beans, quesadillas, chicken, ham, peas, rice, barley,eggs, quinoa, strawberries, blackberries and blueberries.
The only thing I've found your not a fan of at all is green beans. Won't touch them!
Sleep: Naps are great. He takes 2-3 naps that last 1.5-2 hours. Sometimes, you'll take a 3rd quick nap in the early evening. We've had some really good nights and some really bad nights but you got sick (ack, again!) with a crappy virus and so that meant you were back in bed with us. It's been harder to get you back in yours and to be honest, I haven't tried that hard lately. Sleep is much needed around the house (especially since your bro is on a 4-5 am wake up kick lately!) so at this point, we are a big desperate. I'm by your first birthday you'll be sleeping peacefully in there full-time. Naps are still going well at home but not a great napper on the go. You'll fall asleep in the carrier or car seat but wake up easily. Transitioning you to your bed during one of those naps is a funny joke, right?
Personality: You are really turning into a big ham, You find things funny that should be and you laugh at things your brother does. You are so into watching others and take it all in. You are so laid back sometimes that when you do get an attitude, I have to laugh. You have started to get frustrated when you can't get something one or a lid on a container. I noticed it the other day when you were putting the lego lid back on and each time you'd miss it, you would clench your fists and scream! Hilarious!
You are a 'let's put anything and everything in your mouth' kinda kid. Brady never went through this as much or I have bad momnesia but you put EVERYTHING in that mouth. I'm pretty sure you gag on something or a piece of food at least once a day, if not more.
You are really interacting more with your brother and I"m seeing him trying to play with you more as well. I just love it.
Milestones:
Standing unassisted for longer periods of time.
Standing up by yourself!
Using the sign for 'more'
Waving to others while out and about
Clapping!
More vocalizations/babbling
(finally, right? Though, 8 and 9 are behind because somehow I saved 9 over month 8 and it's gone, super sad face!)
Monday, May 27, 2013
LIfe lately.
Why, hello, you little neglected little blog you.
Life lately has gotten in the way. Kids. Babies. Work. Life.
Definitely not sleep. Someone is FINALLY getting teeth. Yep. Eleven months old and he is working on his first tooth. Granted, I think shortly after this one pops through, 7 more are not too far behind. He claps, waves, blows kisses, shakes his head yes and no, WALKS and says my favorite word, "Mama!" He is still a peanut but the kid has grown! He is wearing Brady's old summer clothes and it's funny/sweet to look back. Funny because Brady was oh, 7-9 months old and Benny is almost 1. I also found Brady's first pair of shoes, size FIVE and peanut is in a size 3! Another thought, Brady was in a size 4 diaper at FOUR months and Benny is just now slowly inching there at 11 months.
Peanut he may be but personality is large.
His new thing is drama. Hand over mouth when he's ticked off and then he rubs his hands together. It's pretty adorable/comical.
Benny is (dare I say it?) walking. He still only takes a few steps at a time and only up to maybe 5-6 at a time but it has hit me, he's not my tiny baby anymore. He's doing SO much it's just really crazy how fast time is going. I've found myself stopping to just watch them, soak them up and it's good.
Brady is too cool for school. We signed him up for, gasp, preschool. We toured it a few weeks ago and he ran over to the other kids and just fit right in. He's a stinker, a dreamer and a very curious kid right now. Why? Why? His questions are getting harder and harder to answer. "Did Bennett cry when he was in your belly?' "Why do babies go in mommy's bellies?" Got to love the curious minds of a 3 year old, right?
I have lots more to share, soon. I have like, oh, 4-5 posts at the minimum I've started and need to post. I promise I won't neglect you anymore my precious little blog. I miss you. I need to get back to documenting my babies because as I'm realizing, time is flying and I don't want to forget a single moment. In all reality, my memory sucks so I need you too!
I hope some of you are still out there too, especially with this catastrophe end of Google Reader. I'm really loving, Bloglovin'! Though, I'm still trying to figure it all out!
Gosh. I love these boys.
Life lately has gotten in the way. Kids. Babies. Work. Life.
Definitely not sleep. Someone is FINALLY getting teeth. Yep. Eleven months old and he is working on his first tooth. Granted, I think shortly after this one pops through, 7 more are not too far behind. He claps, waves, blows kisses, shakes his head yes and no, WALKS and says my favorite word, "Mama!" He is still a peanut but the kid has grown! He is wearing Brady's old summer clothes and it's funny/sweet to look back. Funny because Brady was oh, 7-9 months old and Benny is almost 1. I also found Brady's first pair of shoes, size FIVE and peanut is in a size 3! Another thought, Brady was in a size 4 diaper at FOUR months and Benny is just now slowly inching there at 11 months.
Peanut he may be but personality is large.
His new thing is drama. Hand over mouth when he's ticked off and then he rubs his hands together. It's pretty adorable/comical.
Benny is (dare I say it?) walking. He still only takes a few steps at a time and only up to maybe 5-6 at a time but it has hit me, he's not my tiny baby anymore. He's doing SO much it's just really crazy how fast time is going. I've found myself stopping to just watch them, soak them up and it's good.
Brady is too cool for school. We signed him up for, gasp, preschool. We toured it a few weeks ago and he ran over to the other kids and just fit right in. He's a stinker, a dreamer and a very curious kid right now. Why? Why? His questions are getting harder and harder to answer. "Did Bennett cry when he was in your belly?' "Why do babies go in mommy's bellies?" Got to love the curious minds of a 3 year old, right?
I have lots more to share, soon. I have like, oh, 4-5 posts at the minimum I've started and need to post. I promise I won't neglect you anymore my precious little blog. I miss you. I need to get back to documenting my babies because as I'm realizing, time is flying and I don't want to forget a single moment. In all reality, my memory sucks so I need you too!
I hope some of you are still out there too, especially with this catastrophe end of Google Reader. I'm really loving, Bloglovin'! Though, I'm still trying to figure it all out!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
A letter to myself
Dear Amy,
Right now, you are in the thick of it. Tantrums. Sleep deprivation. Distracted nursing sessions. Poop. So.much.poop. It all sounds so great, doesn't it?
That's the thing, it is. Take a minute. Breathe in the scent of those freshly washed baby curls. Listen to the sounds of sweet belly laughs. Pat his soft dimpled skin and kiss those chubby cheeks, again and again.
Look at you the boy who first called you mama. Look at how long his legs are and remember how tiny they used to be in your arms. Put your hands on his sweet face and tell him how much you love him as you remember the chubby cheeks that you used to obsessively kiss. Rub your hands through this short hair darkening with time and remember the blond and curly locks that used to be in its place.
Three year olds. Oh, my three is hard. These little beings can be exhausting but they are so amazing in that same respect. Cuddle him close when he invites you in. Your baby is a mere two months away from toddlerhood. Don't rush him, he'll do things in his own time and when he is ready. It will come too soon that his dependence will lessen and your heart will miss it.
Time is fleeting, momma and I know It's hard to be 'in the moment' all the time.
The tantrums are hard. They are frustrating, exhausting and even confusing. Sometimes, you want to cry too when you've tried to accommodate an overtired three year old who wants nothing you are offering and you're exhausted after getting up who knows how many times to nurse the baby and finally getting up at 5:30 am to get ready for work (and get everyone out of the door on time!) Sometimes, you give in and that's ok.
Instead of crying, you get through it, together. You find yourself thankful for his voice and know you'll hear laughter soon enough.
The lack of sleep is rough and makes the days long but you find yourself thankful for the nightly nursing sessions because it means you're able to nourish and fill his sweet belly. You soak in those moments, as he grows bigger with each gulp because you know those moments are fleeting.
When your three year old asks you 100 questions, 99 which are the same, take time to answer them. They might not be that high on your list and might even drive you a bit crazy but try to remember you are his guide in this world and his teacher.
When you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, just stop. Look around at the toys sprawled throughout the house and know those won't be there forever. One day, you'll miss them.
When all else fails sing, dance, paint or break all the rules. Eat cake for breakfast. Run through the sprinkler in the dark. Leave the dishes behind so you can build a fort in the living room. Sometimes, you just need to let go. Have fun. Leave your worries behind. Really. Don't just 'pretend' to leave them behind but do it.
I know that the days are short, the lists are long and there are so many tears along the way but you will never get these days back. I know that knowledge is hard to swallow but just take a step back and love your life right at this moment. Forget whatever notion of perfect parenting you have carved out in your mind or the snippets of others lives you read on the Internet but its your moment, it's their childhood. It's okay if you feel like you're failing sometimes as we all have our inadequacies and it's those that make us strive to be better.
In that same breath, don't forget, you're a good mom. You may not have time to do all the fun and educational activities you've pinned on Pinterest but your kids are happy. You might drag them from one errand to the next on your days off but they feel loved and that is what is important.
I know it's hard to remember all of this in the hustle and bustle of everyday life with two young kids but come back to this, read it over a time or two to remind yourself.
Think of the sounds Benny makes as you are reunited after a long day at work. Remember how he curls up around you and nuzzles his head into your chest with pure excitement. Remember that moment.
Think to bedtime when you are tucking Brady in and he asks for another kiss, and another hug. Then, another and another. Think of those innocent moments in the dark when he allows you to cradle him in your arms and surround him with love. Remember that moment.
It's those moments that we live for and don't let them get away.
Right now, you are in the thick of it. Tantrums. Sleep deprivation. Distracted nursing sessions. Poop. So.much.poop. It all sounds so great, doesn't it?
That's the thing, it is. Take a minute. Breathe in the scent of those freshly washed baby curls. Listen to the sounds of sweet belly laughs. Pat his soft dimpled skin and kiss those chubby cheeks, again and again.
Look at you the boy who first called you mama. Look at how long his legs are and remember how tiny they used to be in your arms. Put your hands on his sweet face and tell him how much you love him as you remember the chubby cheeks that you used to obsessively kiss. Rub your hands through this short hair darkening with time and remember the blond and curly locks that used to be in its place.
Three year olds. Oh, my three is hard. These little beings can be exhausting but they are so amazing in that same respect. Cuddle him close when he invites you in. Your baby is a mere two months away from toddlerhood. Don't rush him, he'll do things in his own time and when he is ready. It will come too soon that his dependence will lessen and your heart will miss it.
Time is fleeting, momma and I know It's hard to be 'in the moment' all the time.
The tantrums are hard. They are frustrating, exhausting and even confusing. Sometimes, you want to cry too when you've tried to accommodate an overtired three year old who wants nothing you are offering and you're exhausted after getting up who knows how many times to nurse the baby and finally getting up at 5:30 am to get ready for work (and get everyone out of the door on time!) Sometimes, you give in and that's ok.
Instead of crying, you get through it, together. You find yourself thankful for his voice and know you'll hear laughter soon enough.
The lack of sleep is rough and makes the days long but you find yourself thankful for the nightly nursing sessions because it means you're able to nourish and fill his sweet belly. You soak in those moments, as he grows bigger with each gulp because you know those moments are fleeting.
When your three year old asks you 100 questions, 99 which are the same, take time to answer them. They might not be that high on your list and might even drive you a bit crazy but try to remember you are his guide in this world and his teacher.
When you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, just stop. Look around at the toys sprawled throughout the house and know those won't be there forever. One day, you'll miss them.
When all else fails sing, dance, paint or break all the rules. Eat cake for breakfast. Run through the sprinkler in the dark. Leave the dishes behind so you can build a fort in the living room. Sometimes, you just need to let go. Have fun. Leave your worries behind. Really. Don't just 'pretend' to leave them behind but do it.
I know that the days are short, the lists are long and there are so many tears along the way but you will never get these days back. I know that knowledge is hard to swallow but just take a step back and love your life right at this moment. Forget whatever notion of perfect parenting you have carved out in your mind or the snippets of others lives you read on the Internet but its your moment, it's their childhood. It's okay if you feel like you're failing sometimes as we all have our inadequacies and it's those that make us strive to be better.
In that same breath, don't forget, you're a good mom. You may not have time to do all the fun and educational activities you've pinned on Pinterest but your kids are happy. You might drag them from one errand to the next on your days off but they feel loved and that is what is important.
I know it's hard to remember all of this in the hustle and bustle of everyday life with two young kids but come back to this, read it over a time or two to remind yourself.
Think of the sounds Benny makes as you are reunited after a long day at work. Remember how he curls up around you and nuzzles his head into your chest with pure excitement. Remember that moment.
Think to bedtime when you are tucking Brady in and he asks for another kiss, and another hug. Then, another and another. Think of those innocent moments in the dark when he allows you to cradle him in your arms and surround him with love. Remember that moment.
It's those moments that we live for and don't let them get away.
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Surgery day.
Woah. I'm not sure I've ever had a bloggin' break that lasted this long! I need to finish Benny's monthly posts because I'm already forgetting things!
Benny finally had his surgery yesterday. I feel bad for the kid because people ask what he has to have surgery for and I explain to them about hypospadias. I'm sure he will love all the talk about his 'manhood' when he gets older but as a mom it wasn't an easy thing to experience. Long story short is that his urethra wasn't in the 'right' spot and it was moved to prevent issues later on down the road (which some were already starting to develop.) We were told it was a pretty easy process and his wasn't too severe (but ended up needing more 'repair' than we had thought) but he still had to be cut and he still had to go under which was terrifying for me. We were told it was a 1-2 hour surgery and I couldn't' fathom him being taken away from me for so long.
He was supposed to have it in January and they wanted him to weight a bit more and then he got sick. So, when it started getting close, I wasn't nervous because it wasn't real. Then, I got the call. The time, the instructions. I was shaking. I had so much nervous energy, I think I cleaned the entire house.
We had to be at the hospital early and I think it was 6:30 before when we were checked in. We were asked 100 questions from 10 different people (nurse, anesthesiologist doctor, who knows who the other people were!) and the next 1.5 hours were called 'distract the hungry baby.' Instructions were no milk after midnight and no clear liquids after 4:30. This sucked. Benny, so I think, has a really fast metabolism or something because kiddo eats all the time. He still nurses every 2-4 hours and overnight about 2 times or so. I don't know where he puts it all because still being in the low percentile, he packs away a lot of food for being so little.
Could he seriously be ANY cuter in his little gown? The hand gesture is his new thing, 'what?'
I fed him around 11:45 and even tried to top him off with some formula but he only took less than 2 ounces. He woke up at 3:30 and was ready to eat again, not sure if he wanted it more for a comfort feed or if he was really hungry but kiddo would NOT go back to sleep. I rocked him, we swayed, I finally gave in and we played. Around 5 am, he finally conked out. I got ready and we woke him up as we walked out the door at 5:45.
I was nervous about how he would act when we got there, knowing his surgery wasn't till 8:15. He was a riot. Hamming it up for the nurses and wooing them with his big ol' eyes and dimply smile. We played in the playroom, we walked, A LOT and we made up silly games of distraction. The time really went more quickly than I thought it would.
The anesthesiologist came in and I almost lost it when he told me he'd take good care of my baby. The nurse came in to take him and even though he went with her willingly without tears thanks to her sparkly name badge, it hit me. I kissed him 1000 times and the tears came quickly. Our nurse quickly came in and distracted me by telling us to go eat and told us a funny story about people passing out. I couldn't sit there and just wait so we walked around the floor a bit and finally went down and grabbed some breakfast.
You wait in the same room so they can get a hold of you in case they need you/let you know when he is finished but when the phone rang near 9:00, my heart dropped. I grabbed it faster than I've ever done anything. Thankfully, they were doing a courtesy call to let us know that they were starting late (they wait till they are asleep to start the IV and he was a hard stick) and wouldn't be done at the time the dr had told me and didn't want us worrying!
Around 10:15, the doctor came in. He did great, was out and would be calling us soon to come see him! Talk about a sigh of relief. I was anxious to see him and I just wanted him back in MY arms.
After what felt like an eternity, it rang and we could walk down to recovery to see him! I swear I ran back there and swooped him up out of that nurse arms! He was devouring a bottle of pedialyte and was still really groggy but being reunited never felt better. He nursed for a bit and then went back to sleep. I held him and kissed his little head and I think every single finger.
We texted everyone to let them know he was out and doing well. I texted our sitter too so that she could let Brady know Benny was doing well since he told her he was worried about him. (So sweet!) He slept deeply for a while and woke up in a good mood.
Around, 12:30, he started to get really fussy and then started screaming. He wanted to nurse but didn't want to. He was climbing and flailing and it was awful to see him like that. It was most likely the pain meds were wearing off, he had bladder spasms or he had gas from the anesthesia. It could have been a lot of things but it sucked. Seeing him like that was the most helpless I've felt as a parent and I hope to never feel that way again. Our sweet nurse gave him some spasm medication, gas meds and pain medicine and he was asleep in my arms again by 1:00. It wasn't for a few more hours that we were finally discharged.
Poor kid looked drugged up and it broke my heart to see that but I was glad he wasn't in pain. We always joke about Benny's 'intense' looks and the nurse told us that when he woke up, he zeroed in on one particular man and would not stop staring at him until someone gave him a bottle of Pedialyte, ha!
He slept/nursed most of the night but woke up this morning ready to go! He is happy, crawling/pulling up and I haven't had to give him any pain meds stronger than Tylenol since last night. We are still giving him the spasm meds for another day to be sure and they we can stop those. He is on an antibiotics to prevent infection (well, duh) because he had to have a catheter.
The catheter stays in for a week and the bandages stay on till tomorrow or Saturday. I'm a bit afraid to see what is under there but I know he will heal quickly. I have to say, the team at Children's was amazing as usual. It was obvious they are used to dealing with nervous parents and take that into consideration in what they do. That is something I appreciated so much. I also see nurses in a different light even though I've always known they were rock stars! I sat there holding Benny in recovery, another baby had just came out of surgery and was screaming bloody murder. I watched another nurse console him, rock him and do what she could do make him feel safe and comforted but all he wanted was a familiar face and food (I'm sure) but it hit me in all that these wonderful nurses do! (You rock!)
All of this has really made me count my blessings more and appreciate their health more than ever. I saw so many other kids in there before/after surgery and it's sucks that kids have to deal with any sort of medical issue even the 'minor' ones because as parents we know, there is no such thing as minor when it comes to your kids. I am so proud of my big boy and amazed at how resilient babies can be!
Benny finally had his surgery yesterday. I feel bad for the kid because people ask what he has to have surgery for and I explain to them about hypospadias. I'm sure he will love all the talk about his 'manhood' when he gets older but as a mom it wasn't an easy thing to experience. Long story short is that his urethra wasn't in the 'right' spot and it was moved to prevent issues later on down the road (which some were already starting to develop.) We were told it was a pretty easy process and his wasn't too severe (but ended up needing more 'repair' than we had thought) but he still had to be cut and he still had to go under which was terrifying for me. We were told it was a 1-2 hour surgery and I couldn't' fathom him being taken away from me for so long.
He was supposed to have it in January and they wanted him to weight a bit more and then he got sick. So, when it started getting close, I wasn't nervous because it wasn't real. Then, I got the call. The time, the instructions. I was shaking. I had so much nervous energy, I think I cleaned the entire house.
We had to be at the hospital early and I think it was 6:30 before when we were checked in. We were asked 100 questions from 10 different people (nurse, anesthesiologist doctor, who knows who the other people were!) and the next 1.5 hours were called 'distract the hungry baby.' Instructions were no milk after midnight and no clear liquids after 4:30. This sucked. Benny, so I think, has a really fast metabolism or something because kiddo eats all the time. He still nurses every 2-4 hours and overnight about 2 times or so. I don't know where he puts it all because still being in the low percentile, he packs away a lot of food for being so little.
I fed him around 11:45 and even tried to top him off with some formula but he only took less than 2 ounces. He woke up at 3:30 and was ready to eat again, not sure if he wanted it more for a comfort feed or if he was really hungry but kiddo would NOT go back to sleep. I rocked him, we swayed, I finally gave in and we played. Around 5 am, he finally conked out. I got ready and we woke him up as we walked out the door at 5:45.
I was nervous about how he would act when we got there, knowing his surgery wasn't till 8:15. He was a riot. Hamming it up for the nurses and wooing them with his big ol' eyes and dimply smile. We played in the playroom, we walked, A LOT and we made up silly games of distraction. The time really went more quickly than I thought it would.
The anesthesiologist came in and I almost lost it when he told me he'd take good care of my baby. The nurse came in to take him and even though he went with her willingly without tears thanks to her sparkly name badge, it hit me. I kissed him 1000 times and the tears came quickly. Our nurse quickly came in and distracted me by telling us to go eat and told us a funny story about people passing out. I couldn't sit there and just wait so we walked around the floor a bit and finally went down and grabbed some breakfast.
Waiting. Waiting sucks.
You wait in the same room so they can get a hold of you in case they need you/let you know when he is finished but when the phone rang near 9:00, my heart dropped. I grabbed it faster than I've ever done anything. Thankfully, they were doing a courtesy call to let us know that they were starting late (they wait till they are asleep to start the IV and he was a hard stick) and wouldn't be done at the time the dr had told me and didn't want us worrying!
Around 10:15, the doctor came in. He did great, was out and would be calling us soon to come see him! Talk about a sigh of relief. I was anxious to see him and I just wanted him back in MY arms.
After what felt like an eternity, it rang and we could walk down to recovery to see him! I swear I ran back there and swooped him up out of that nurse arms! He was devouring a bottle of pedialyte and was still really groggy but being reunited never felt better. He nursed for a bit and then went back to sleep. I held him and kissed his little head and I think every single finger.
Around, 12:30, he started to get really fussy and then started screaming. He wanted to nurse but didn't want to. He was climbing and flailing and it was awful to see him like that. It was most likely the pain meds were wearing off, he had bladder spasms or he had gas from the anesthesia. It could have been a lot of things but it sucked. Seeing him like that was the most helpless I've felt as a parent and I hope to never feel that way again. Our sweet nurse gave him some spasm medication, gas meds and pain medicine and he was asleep in my arms again by 1:00. It wasn't for a few more hours that we were finally discharged.
Poor kid looked drugged up and it broke my heart to see that but I was glad he wasn't in pain. We always joke about Benny's 'intense' looks and the nurse told us that when he woke up, he zeroed in on one particular man and would not stop staring at him until someone gave him a bottle of Pedialyte, ha!
He slept/nursed most of the night but woke up this morning ready to go! He is happy, crawling/pulling up and I haven't had to give him any pain meds stronger than Tylenol since last night. We are still giving him the spasm meds for another day to be sure and they we can stop those. He is on an antibiotics to prevent infection (well, duh) because he had to have a catheter.
The catheter stays in for a week and the bandages stay on till tomorrow or Saturday. I'm a bit afraid to see what is under there but I know he will heal quickly. I have to say, the team at Children's was amazing as usual. It was obvious they are used to dealing with nervous parents and take that into consideration in what they do. That is something I appreciated so much. I also see nurses in a different light even though I've always known they were rock stars! I sat there holding Benny in recovery, another baby had just came out of surgery and was screaming bloody murder. I watched another nurse console him, rock him and do what she could do make him feel safe and comforted but all he wanted was a familiar face and food (I'm sure) but it hit me in all that these wonderful nurses do! (You rock!)
All of this has really made me count my blessings more and appreciate their health more than ever. I saw so many other kids in there before/after surgery and it's sucks that kids have to deal with any sort of medical issue even the 'minor' ones because as parents we know, there is no such thing as minor when it comes to your kids. I am so proud of my big boy and amazed at how resilient babies can be!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Review: Cross Country Cafe K-cups (and how I stay sane)
There is something I love almost as much as I love my family.
It's coffee.
I've loved it since I was a high school kid who spent lots of time in a diner with friends staying up too late. It became a fixture in my life as a college student and again when I became a mom.
There was a time after Bennett was born when my beloved Keurig broke and I almost died because I couldn't make coffee for a week! It was awful. I'm not joking. Coffee is my one daily necessity. I might be drinking it while the kids are running around and acting like wild banshees but I feel like the world stops for a minute and it gives me a bit of sanity. Oh, the taste is pretty fabulous too and the caffeine is the only way I survive almost 3 1/2 years of broken sleep.
K-cups can be pricey and I'm a bargain hunter so the two things, well, they don't always bode well together. I have been buying my most favorite coffee of all time (Starbucks Cafe Verona) at Costco because well, it's the only way I could potentially feel okay spending that much on coffee. Then, Costco decided to stop carrying it and I practically sobbed in the aisle. I have been on the search for something more economic but with that same flavor I love so much.
I stumbled upon Cross Country Cafe and I feel like I scored big time. You can't beat the price. I have shopped around for K-cups a lot (more than I'd like to admit, really) and their prices? Amazing!They have a great selection and are family owned. Win-win for all, right?
I did find a replacement that I am over the moon in love. Actually, I found THREE, which if you love coffee as much as I do, you know that is a big deal.
I love BOLD coffee. These are amazing that I am oddly giddy to wake up and have some each morning.
Hop on over to Cross Country Cafe and check them out! They have a great selection (Caribou, Wolfgang, Donut House and much more! I just happened to love three of the same brand!)
Disclaimer: I did receive a sampler of coffee but the opinions are 100% my own and I love, love, love coffee.
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