Surgery day.

Woah. I'm not sure I've ever had a bloggin' break that lasted this long! I need to finish Benny's monthly posts because I'm already forgetting things!

Benny finally had his surgery yesterday. I feel bad for the kid because people ask what he has to have surgery for and I explain to them about hypospadias. I'm sure he will love all the talk about his 'manhood' when he gets older but as a mom it wasn't an easy thing to experience. Long story short is that his urethra wasn't in the 'right' spot and it was moved to prevent issues later on down the road (which some were already starting to develop.)  We were told it was a pretty easy process and his wasn't too severe (but ended up needing more 'repair' than we had thought) but he still had to be cut and he still had to go under which was terrifying for me. We were told it was a 1-2 hour surgery and I couldn't' fathom him being taken away from me for so long.

 He was supposed to have it in January and they wanted him to weight a bit more and then he got sick. So, when it started getting close, I wasn't nervous because it wasn't real. Then, I got the call. The time, the instructions. I was shaking. I had so much nervous energy, I think I cleaned the entire house.

We had to be at the hospital early and I think it was 6:30 before when we were checked in. We were asked 100 questions from 10 different people (nurse, anesthesiologist  doctor, who knows who the other people were!) and the next 1.5 hours were called 'distract the hungry baby.' Instructions were no milk after midnight and no clear liquids after 4:30. This sucked. Benny, so I think, has a really fast metabolism or something because kiddo eats all the time. He still nurses every 2-4 hours and overnight about 2 times or so. I don't know where he puts it all because still being in the low percentile, he packs away a lot of food for being so little.

Could he seriously be ANY cuter in his little gown? The hand gesture is his new thing, 'what?'

I fed him around 11:45 and even tried to top him off with some formula but he only took less than 2 ounces. He woke up at 3:30 and was ready to eat again, not sure if he wanted it more for a comfort feed or if he was really hungry but kiddo would NOT go back to sleep. I rocked him, we swayed, I finally gave in and we played. Around 5 am, he finally conked out. I got ready and we woke him up as we walked out the door at 5:45.

I was nervous about how he would act when we got there, knowing his surgery wasn't till 8:15. He was a riot. Hamming it up for the nurses and wooing them with his big ol' eyes and dimply smile. We played in the playroom, we walked, A LOT and we made up silly games of distraction. The time really went more quickly than I thought it would.

The anesthesiologist came in and I almost lost it when he told me he'd take good care of my baby. The nurse came in to take him and even though he went with her willingly without tears thanks to her sparkly name badge, it hit me. I kissed him 1000 times and the tears came quickly. Our nurse quickly came in and distracted me by telling us to go eat and told us a funny story about people passing out. I couldn't sit there and just wait so we walked around the floor a bit and finally went down and grabbed some breakfast.

Waiting. Waiting sucks. 

 You wait in the same room so they can get a hold of you in case they need you/let you know when he is finished but when the phone rang near 9:00, my heart dropped. I grabbed it faster than I've ever done anything. Thankfully, they were doing a courtesy call to let us know that they were starting late (they wait till they are asleep to start the IV and he was a hard stick) and wouldn't be done at the time the dr had told me and didn't want us worrying!

Around 10:15, the doctor came in. He did great, was out and would be calling us soon to come see him! Talk about a sigh of relief. I was anxious to see him and I just wanted him back in MY arms.

After what felt like an eternity, it rang and we could walk down to recovery to see him! I swear I ran back there and swooped him up out of that nurse arms! He was devouring a bottle of pedialyte and was still really groggy but being reunited never felt better. He nursed for a bit and then went back to sleep. I held him and kissed his little head and I think every single finger.

We texted everyone to let them know he was out and doing well. I texted our sitter too so that she could let Brady know Benny was doing well since he told her he was worried about him. (So sweet!) He slept deeply for a while and woke up in a good mood.

 Around, 12:30, he started to get really fussy and then started screaming. He wanted to nurse but didn't want to. He was climbing and flailing and it was awful to see him like that. It was most likely the pain meds were wearing off, he had bladder spasms or he had gas from the anesthesia. It could have been a lot of things but it sucked. Seeing him like that was the most helpless I've felt as a parent and I hope to never feel that way again. Our sweet nurse gave him some spasm medication, gas meds and pain medicine and he was asleep in my arms again by 1:00. It wasn't for a few more hours that we were finally discharged.

Poor kid looked drugged up and it broke my heart to see that but I was glad he wasn't in pain. We always joke about Benny's 'intense' looks and the nurse told us that when he woke up, he zeroed in on one particular man and would not stop staring at him until someone gave him a bottle of Pedialyte, ha!

He slept/nursed most of the night but woke up this morning ready to go! He is happy, crawling/pulling up and I haven't had to give him any pain meds stronger than Tylenol since last night. We are still giving him the spasm meds for another day to be sure and they we can stop those. He is on an antibiotics to prevent infection (well, duh) because he had to have a catheter.

The catheter stays in for a week and the bandages stay on till tomorrow or Saturday. I'm a bit afraid to see what is under there but I know he will heal quickly. I have to say, the team at Children's was amazing as usual. It was obvious they are used to dealing with nervous parents and take that into consideration in what they do. That is something I appreciated so much.  I also see nurses in a different light even though I've always known they were rock stars!  I sat there holding Benny in recovery, another baby had just came out of surgery and was screaming bloody murder. I watched another nurse console him, rock him and do what she could do make him feel safe and comforted but all he wanted was a familiar face and food (I'm sure) but it hit me in all that these wonderful nurses do! (You rock!)

All of this has really made me count my blessings more and appreciate their health more than ever. I saw so many other kids in there before/after surgery and it's sucks that kids have to deal with any sort of medical issue even the 'minor' ones because as parents we know, there is no such thing as minor when it comes to your kids. I am so proud of my big boy and amazed at how resilient babies can be!