Monday, February 8, 2010

A year ago....

A year ago this month, we found out Brady was coming into the world. I was reading old posts I had written, and there was one in particular that made my heart smile and my eyes water.

I expected life to change. A big life altering change, but that never happened. I never felt like him coming into our lives was difficult, and I fell into motherhood so naturally, like I was meant to be HIS mother. I remember the struggle we had naming him and when I look at him, his name fits him perfectly. I remember wondering what he would look like, and who's features he would carry. I look at him and could not imagine him looking any other way.

I look back at all those emotions I was feeling, and I literally cried reading it, going back to the moment. I was so excited, but also had every other emotion floating through my head. A year later those emotions haven't changed. I worried about that life inside of me, and it never eased as my belly got bigger. 15 weeks after his birth, I still find myself full of worry.

Is he eating the right amount? Is he gaining the right amount? Is he cold? Is he hot? Is he happy? Does he get sad? Does he feel loved?

Then, I remember back to that day. The day I 'met' my little munchkin for the first time. What that tech said to me still rings true. Worrying is part of being a mother.

I look down at my sleeping baby, and I find peace.

I look at him and the immense love I feel is overwhelming.

I feel lucky.

I feel happy.

I am blessed.

A year ago, I was learning how to be a mom.

Now, I am HIS mom.

13 comments:

Julia said...

beautiful post, Amy. What a difference a year makes!

Jennelle said...

Love it! I can't even imagine the emotional roller coaster the past year has been for you... It makes me so excited to have kids!

The Wilson's said...

Awesome post! Just imagine what life will be like this time next year:)

Meredith said...

Beautiful.

Lisa said...

And, I am crying. Thank you...

N. said...

You have changed so much, Amy, in such a soft and sweet way. It's beautiful.

Lisa said...

Such a beautiful post! A lot can change in a year!

Katie said...

Beautiful Amy! It is crazy to think about the difference a year makes. I want to cry thinking about the time the little one goes off to college...I will really wonder then how that ever fit in my belly!

Children of the 90s said...

This is so beautiful! Thanks for sharing.

Mary said...

That is so sweet, Amy. I can't believe it's already been a year!

The Wilson's said...

Isn't it absolutely amazing what a difference a year makes! Beautiful post Amy. I left a little something for you on my blog. Be sure and check it out!

Anonymous said...

very useful read. I would love to follow you on twitter.

Vee said...

Isn't amazing to take a step back from your life and see the progress you've made and all the changes that can happen in a year? It never ceases to amaze me.

P.S. I left something for you at my blog. =]