Last week, Sunday to be exact, you turned four. FOUR.
Let's process that for a bit.
I know. It seems like yesterday, I was rocking you in my arms, wondering how I could love someone so little so very much. Seems like yesterday I was trying to figure out why you were not sleeping or laughing at your busy, curious, toddler antics. I have watched you grow from a colicky baby, to a curious toddler and into an inquisitive, sensitive, loving child. A person.
I sometimes see curiosity brewing that grows into a bit of anxiety about unknown and new things. We talk about things and it's just like you needed to know HOW it would work or what it looks like. Before a trip for Florida, you told me you didn't want to go. You were afraid of the water. Actually, you had woken me up at 6 am to tell me this. We looked at pictures of the beach and it calmed your fears. Your growing need for knowledge amazes me and I know I will see it blossom into something big one day.
You're curious nature cracks me up too. You've asked me lately, "why do we have butts.' or 'why do we have belly buttons' and you listen so intently to the answers we try come up with.
You have fears that are a bit cute, frustrating and comical at the same time but I know those fears are real to you. Just remember, your fears are bigger than reality and you have many guardian angels watching over you. Also, I'm pretty sure there will never be any bears, coyotes or gorillas in your bedroom.
You continue to learn new things every, single day. Sometimes, you'll say something and I'm just astonished. Then, there are times, I"m just blown away.
Last week, we were talking about your special trip with Daddy to the beach (to visit Aunt Kim.) I told you to say bye to Benny because he had to go to the sitter's while we take you and Daddy to the airport. You looked over at him, hugged him and said, "I'm so sorry I can't go with you to Rachel's, Benny! I love you and I will miss you a lot! '
Like I said, blown away. Moments like those, my love, I see them so often with your brother. There is something so beautifully special between you two and it's the best thing I could ever witness. You have fallen into this big brother role like you were always meant to be in it. A few weeks ago at the park, I watched as you protectively watched over him as he took steps up a little too high. My heart swelled to an extent I never knew existed and I knew at that moment, you would do anything for him. You are amazing and I hope you never forget how great you are.I know Bennett looks up to you and loves you.
You started school this year and have flourished in every, single way. You love learning. You love going to school and seeing all your friends. You love all the teachers and they adore you. You are such a social butterfly. A true social butterfly. You have a lot of new friends at school and one kid comes up to me often to tell me how much he adores you. You see, you have a way with people. You win them over with ease and find a way into their hearts with one quick dimply smile.
You can count, know all your letters and letters. You've developed such a love for those things this year. You want to know what everything starts with and sound things out. You love to read but have the biggest imagination. Pretending is the one of your favorite things. I love to listen to you play and it's one of the things I listen for purposefully.
You have this sensitive side too. It's a side I don't want to be faded or tarnished with age but I want to protect it as long as I can. Don't forget that the best you that you can be is you. Always remember, you are enough and you are worth every thing good in this world.
It still finds it hard to believe you are four. Four is a big deal, dude. Three was still teetering between toddler hood and kid status and four is just SO big. Heck, at your 4 year old well visit appointment, you were between 77-79 percentile for height/weight so there is proof you are SO big!
I know three had some difficult moments but the ones I think we'll remember are the amazing ones. You will always be my spirited one. The one who always finds a reason for everything.
Happy 4th birthday, buddy. Happy Birthday to the kiddo who is full of energy and never stops moving but loves to hold your hand and cuddle. To the kid who pushes all my buttons but pulls at my heart. To the kid who asks us, "why do we have butts?' To the kid who will never be the best at sleeping but is by far, the best big brother. To the kid who finds happiness and joy in everything. We love yo in the morning and in the afternoon. We love you in the evening and underneath the moon!