Benny {12 months}

Dear Benny,
Happy Birthday, my sweet, sweet boy. Looking back at this year, I can only tell you one thing. There is no one word, no one way to explain the beauty and well, oddly enough, the peace that you have so perfectly brought into our lives. I was driving to work the other day and just thinking about you and your silly expressions brought tears to my eyes. It's amazing to me how you so easily fit into our lives. I can hardly remember life without you. Being a parent of two isn't easy by any means but you make it feel that way (at times.)

I find myself thinking about how fast time has flown and more so now that you are turning one. It was only just a short year ago that I was nervously anticipating your arrival and wondering how our lives would change. I knew that you would come into this world and I would fall head over heels with you and I did, boy did I!!

 I remember those last few months before you came, I savored my last moments being a mom to the only one who I've known how to be a mom to. I worried that I wouldn't know how to be a mom to you but once you were put into my arms, all those fears slipped away.

I was scared of how it would impact your brother and I find myself a bit aloof as I watch you two wrestle around and giggle with pure delight. As I see the way you look at him, which you have done since you were so very tiny. I see an instinctive protectiveness in his eyes and the pure, raw and unconditional love in his heart that was put there for you and you alone.

 You are so incredibly silly and so serious at the same time. 

You were so tiny and yet full of so much strength that I see in you daily. There was a Shakespeare quote , "Though she is small, she is fierce.' and it reminded me of you. You are so brave and I think you were put here on earth to remind me of the beauty and grace in life.

You are such a sweet and lovable soul. Giving hugs and love to only those you prove worthy. You may be a bit slow to warm up but once you do, you never stop smiling at them. Cuddling is one of your favorite things to do and I soak up each of those moments.

 I remember the sadness I felt as Brady turned one but what I didn't know at the time was how amazing each day past one came to be. While I'm saddened to watch you grow out of infancy and into toddler-hood I am anticipating each moment with you.

You are my a beautiful soul so full of love and life. I look forward to each moment I'm blessed to share with you.

(Lots of posts I'm finally posting!)