I don't really know how to begin this post. The past two years seem like a blur to me, and it seems like forever ago that my grandmother was diagnosed with the big C--Lung Cancer. She went through Chemo and Radiation and seemed to do well.
This past winter she had a stroke. Since then, her health has deteriorated and she has been to several doctors. My mom went with her to one appointment and dementia was talked about. So, our family started to think that is just what she had. It seemed like things continued to get worse, and that my grandpa was having a hard time caring for her. I suggested contacting Medicare to get someone to help out. I have kiddos I work with who are on Medicaid who get nursing assistance so I figured the same benefits might apply.
They sent out someone to assess her and found out that the cancer was back, and it wasn't good. They have her 6 months. Then, last night my mom called to tell me that had changed. Now, she has 1-2 months to live. Before that call, I was so happy about the baby being healthy so far, and I just didn't expect this at all. I really wanted her to meet our little man too.
What makes me upset is that they are not telling her that she is dying. She told my mom the other day that when she is alone, she can't think. Then, she asked my mom if she was dying. They told her NO! When I asked why, they said, we'll we don't want her to give up fighting. I just feel that this is so wrong and that she deserve to know. I keep thinking that she might want to say her goodbyes, or do this or that. It just doesn't make sense to me but maybe she didn't want to know, I don't know.
The sad thing is that they planned her funeral yesterday. My grandpa wanted everyone to be in the right mind state to do it. I know this sounds odd, but I have never to been to a funeral, and I really don't know how to deal with death.My dad's dad died when I was ten. It was an odd experience because he was cremated and I wasn't really that close to him. I know none of us really can ever be truly prepared for it but I have no experiences to base this on. Death has always been something that freaks me out.
I am 30 years old and have been blessed that I have never truly dealt with it before.
Anyway, any thoughts and prayers sent her way would be greatly appreciated.
I guess it might be true what they say, with every birth there is a death.
On a positive note, Blake's mom had surgery yesterday to remove tumors from her bladder. She is doing really well and they sent her home! She had this when Blake was young, and this time it seems to be going as it did last time!
Cancer just sucks!