37 weeks: From panic, to crazy town to excitement!

It' official. I'm huge. Not the best picture or the most flattering but at this point, I just don't care. I think I'm to the point where Maternity clothes are barely covering me and add in the 90+ heat we've been having and yep..... We even took Brady to  Grant's Farm on Monday, which I think I should win some sort of awesome mom status for since walking around 9 months pregnant in the heat was not my ideal way to spend the day but alas, my baby boy had a blast. It was worth sweating my tail and waddling through it!

A little sneak peak at the nursery. Almost there. I put up the pack n play, washed the covers to the swing, bouncy, etc and the car seats are going in this week. Seeing as we didn't have the car seats installed when Brady was born, we are in pretty good shape! 

I've had a few moments where I've set into panic mode. I'm just getting the point (uh, I think on my facebook feed alone in the past two week, SIX babies were born!) where I want to meet my son, know he is okay and to be honest, just have the birth part over with. I have been over-thinking, over-analyzing everything. I know it sounds crazy but I'm terrified in all of it, something will happen to me and I try to come back out of crazy town and pray that it all works out in the best way possible. I've had a few random contractions, tons of bh and have been feeling a bit crampy, none of which I had with Brady. I'm hoping it means my body wants to get this baby out the same way I want it out!

Brady has been so sweet lately and I can't believe I'm going to be blessed with another little boy in my life. He was giving me hugs and kisses one night and as he was giving me hug #211, he told me, "This just makes me so happy!" It is moments like these I want to put in my pocket and hold onto but make me so more excited for our family to grow. 

36 weeks: The Homestretch or something

Oh my.

Oh my.

36 weeks.

I'm to the point where I"m officially done with people asking me when this baby is due or that I'm about to pop, or just about anything this week. It's hot. I'm huge and I feel like my hips might break into 100 pieces. The back pain is so much fun too. I believe I said to a coworker yesterday that if I have to go through 3+ more weeks of this, I am no longer answering my phone. My voicemail is blinking at me while I type.

I'm joyous, am I not?

I am. I really am.

That is until I re-read the pamphlet my OB gave me on VBAC's with death rates, risks and all kinds of statistics that made me wanna keep this baby in forever. However, from the research in that paperwork, a c-section has a much higher rate of a lot and that is what scares the crap outta me.

Oh, can I count thee ways in how I wish I could wake up and baby be out and we can all go on our merry way??

Anyway, back to being really pregnant and uncomfortable. I did NOT feel this way with Brady and I still have a little less than two weeks till I'm even with Brady's pregnancy since he came at 38 weeks.

I dropped early last week or the week before so walking is fun especially with a full bladder or let's talk about traffic and a full bladder. Ok, let's not. Well, at my appointment this week she confirmed he is low and right on my bladder. Yep. Didn't need to be felt up to know that. I'm barely a cm dilated and a very soft 50% effaced.

There were 3 babies born last week and I was sure it was a sign of something. What? I'm not sure but seeing all the babies put me in panic mode for a few days and now I'm getting more and more ready to meet my son. I have two more projects to finish before the nursery is complete.

Oh, and we have a name. I'll post more details on that soon if you couldn't understand Brady's upside-down toddler speak. I ordered Big Brother and Little Brother shirts this week and I can't wait to get them. Now I have to get a small gift from the baby for him and we'll be ready to go! Oh, I guess I should pack my bag too, huh?

I think I've been in total denial of how close I am and how much this little man is going to rock our world but I really can't wait.

It's insane to me that we are soon to be a family of four. I've come super clingy to my little boy lately and leaving him everyday is getting hard. I want to savor ever moment we have together and this morning he asked me to lay with him a little bit longer. Even though I was already running way behind, I did.

Brady names the baby

If you listen closely, you might be able to found out what we are naming the baby. For the record, it is NOT Little Willie!

To all the momma's....

Happy Mother's Day to all the "Super Mom's' out there!

 I'm a day late but I was busy spending the day with the little boy who made me a mommy on my last Mother's Day before I become a mommy to another little boy!

I have to say it was pretty awesome to wake up to a big smile from Brady. He tosses me a shirt and says, "Happy Mother's Day! You Super Mommy!' What a great way to wake up! 

The day ended on an even better note. He not only told me he loved me 'more than trash trucks!' but then as we were getting ready for bed, he looked over at me and said, "I love you Super Mommy!' 

It' a big cape to fill but I think all mom's are 'mom enough' to be called, 'Super Mom,' so I hope you all enjoyed your day. 

On an unrelated note, today is 35/35. I can't believe we have less than 35 days till we will meet this little boy. I say less than because this momma still doesn't believe she will make it to her due date. 

To my firstborn

Dear Brady;

I can't help but find myself overcome with emotion as it gets closer to the day our family grows. I look at you and I find myself lost for words yet overcome with so many that I can't get them all out. I look at who you've become and who I have become because of you. I am so proud to be your mother and I find myself blessed beyond measure each time I hear you laugh.

You made us a family. You, my son, gave me the most priceless gift in itself. You made me a mother and for that, I can't thank you enough. You've given me the most amazing gift and shaped me to the person I was meant to be. You've given me strength when I wasn't sure I had it inside of me. You have given me the gift of unconditional love which bears unwavering beauty.

There are days when I look at you and I find myself riddled with guilt. I worry about how you'll handle the big changes to come but then I see you do something that amazes me and I know you'll be just fine.

That is the thing, buddy. You are so strong, so independent and confident in each step you take. You always know exactly what it is you want. You are so wise beyond your years and so very bright. You have this memory that amazes me, which you get from your daddy! The other day, you told me that you wanted to go pick pears in the backyard, which was something we did LAST summer. You have this hilarious sense of humor and the most contagious laugh which compliment those charming little dimples.

You are so endearing and loving in the most sincere way. You ask for kisses and tell me, "I love you!' all the time. You have this boundless energy that never ceases yet you can sit still in an activity for hours. You are made up of all the best parts of your daddy and I but also pieces of your own individuality that shines brightly. Your personality is bigger than many adults I know. I find it hard to pick one thing I love about you but that personality of yours tops my list.

I look at you and remember where we started. We were both learning and we have grown together in this journey of life. I remember bringing you home and immediately being filled with so much love and I never thought it could get better than this beautiful moment.

Then, each day, it did. I found myself more enamored and in love with each noise, each stretch and even each tiny little cry that grew into dimply laughs and chubby legs that run with boundless energy.

I remember the first time you smiled.

 Your first tooth.

Your first romp in the snow. 

The day you took your first steps.

The day you said, "mama'' for the first time and so many other magic moments that are forever stitched into the grain of my soul. I never thought such a tiny little presence could create such magical and monumental moments but you have done that every step of the way.

You have made every ordinary task, a new adventure. 

 You are the what I look forward to when I first wake up and I race home from work to be greeted by your big dimply smile!

So, my love, as we take this journey together, know that we are going together and I will always be there for you. I can't promise you it's going to be easy all the time but I know there will be precious moments of happiness and joy and countless instances of boundless laughter. I want you to always remember how much we love you, even though I tell you 101 times a day. The other day you told me, "Momma, you my best friend!' and I realized I was right. We have a bond that is solid as they come and you will always be my baby no matter no big you grow.

You and your little brother will do great things and you'll do them together.  That I am sure of! I see you as a leader in this life and you are destined for great things. I wish I could explain to you know how this new life will change yours and how you will both be the best of friends but what I can tell you now is that he is the luckiest little boy to have a big brother like you!  I know you are going to make an amazing big brother and I can't wait to take this new step in life with you by my side.

Moving on up!

I swear, my kid is getting too big. We've been talking about moving him to a big boy room for months since we planned on using the crib mattress  in the baby's room (with his old crib!)

So, after a very, uh, interesting evening with the in-laws who so graciously offered to get his big boy bed, we were on a mission to finish his room so that we could then focus on the newest addition!

Brady was very excited but unsure of what the heck we were doing to his well loved bed! I was a bit nervous about how he'd react to such a dramatic change but he did great!

Side note, my kid sleeps now. It's amazing. I have to say too as I knock on all the damn wood in the house that since having this new big boy bed, he goes to bed so much easier. Who knew?

 Brady picked out the bedding set. I gave him a few choices and he picked this one out from here. I'm pretty sure it has all of his favorite things that go--cars, trucks, cement mixer, police cars, you name it, it's on there! The pictures are from Home Goods. Love that place!

 His first night in his big boy bed. Made mommy a bit sad to see him all snuggled up like a big kid.

I have to admit. I wanted to crawl right in there with him and never let him go!

Lots of changes!

First things, first! My doctor called yesterday to tell me my test results came back normal! Relief feels good, so, so good!

Now, onto not so good stuff. We found out not too long ago that my husband was going to be without a job. It's been quite stressful and we are hoping he finds something soon (which he is at an interview as I type!) since the timing is just awful but we'll get through it. We've been here before but when you have a child, it's so much different.

In the meantime, we've managed to get a lot done around the house! Brady now has a big boy room that is 100% done! I'll be posting pictures very soon. This also means that the nursery is coming right along. I have to say, I am going to love it. With Brady's room, it never felt done or right but this one feels like it will be perfect! It's such a relief to have these things moving right along!

Brady did a great job moving from his toddler bed right up to a big boy bed! He picked out the sheets and comforter, which of course are complete with trucks, trains, planes and cars! He curls up and just looks so sweet in his bed and I can't believe how big he is getting.

In fact, he decided that he was so big that using a big fat curse word was appropriate. Yeah. I guess he was pretty ticked he missed the mail man. I have to give him credit because he's used it in the right context several times though I don' t think I can ever face the public eye if he says it again. We've had some serious talks about it and I'm hoping we are done with that! I had to expect that was coming though, either now or later!

He made up for it last night but telling me, "Momma, you my best friend!'' I mean, seriously? Does it get better than that?
I guess that also makes up for the yogurt raisins he shoved in the DVR.

32 weeks: Waiting.

It's been a whirlwind of crazy times around our household. I've got lots to post about but I'll share more about other things once I can!

I had my 32 week appointment yesterday and I'm now waiting which sucks. 

Let me back up a bit to explain. Last week, I started itching. It was odd and random since it wasn't all the time so I thought it was something like allergies or something of the same realm. Then, a week later, it was still around and when I was itchy, it was bad. I wanted to literally claw off my skin. I mentioned it at my appointment thinking I had PUPPS. 

I don't have a rash and then she mentioned something called cholestatis, which is a pregnancy induced liver condition which affects the flow of bile. The only symptom is usually the symptom I have-being intensely itchy. 

Of course, I asked Dr. Google and he scared the crap out of me talking about high risks of stillborn, premature labor and a higher risk of inhaling meconium. Everything I read recommended early delivery which would throw my VBAC out the window (attempting vbac means you can't be induced!) 

She ran some blood tests and so here I wait. I was told to call today for results but the bile acid test was still pending. I did though find out my platelets are still stable (about 25 below normal though which isn't too bad) and whatever test she ran for hypertension came back normal. 

Luckily, we have a busy weekend ahead of us which will help if I don't hear back tomorrow!

Catching bubbles with this kid helps too.

The thing about toddlers.

Those parenting books don't tell you everything about life with a toddler. I don't think they do it on purpose, it's just almost impossible to really explain their bewildering behavior.

They dont' tell you that you'll walk into Kohl's and leave carrying a screaming toddler.

They won't tell you that your child will run away from you at the store yelling, "You can't catch me!" and then throwing a pile of Kelly Green t-shirts up in the air like it's raining.

They don't tell you that your child will have to sleep with a cat blanket, the 'puffy' blanket, the blanket with the 'balls on top' and the green one and that he will need to have 423 stuffed animals in his bed and a line of trucks next to his bed.

and that he'll still get up out of bed, 154 times, ask for a drink and beg you to lay in the room or hold his hand.

or that your child will decide that the only way to eat green beans is to take out the tiny little beans one by one leaving a trail of shredded green beans

or that you'll come back from the bathroom to find your kitchen floor covered in chocolate chips.
or that he'll decide 'I don't like to take a bath' or 'I don't like to eat,' and even, "I don't like to go to bed!"

They don't tell you that you'll hear them repeat the same thing 920 times in the span of five minutes.

They don't tell you that they will throw themselves on the ground, scream and cry for 20 minutes all because, "I want do it!"

They don't tell you that the sweet, little child can switch into a kicking, screaming mess at the drop of a hat.

The toddler is truly a complicated little being.

They have more insight than you could imagine or that they could say something so simple that it brings you to tears.
 
They notice just about everything and find amusement in the simplest of things.
 
They say things like, "oh that is just perfect!" after you let them feel their baby brother kick.
 
They tell you "I just love you, momma!" and nothing else matters.
 
That is until they are throwing shirts off the shelf at Kohl's and all the old lady's are staring at you.

Eggs, bunnies and bubbles!

There is something about holidays that are so much more now that I'm a mom. I find myself giddy if not more than when I was as a child. I was so excited about Easter this year. My lovely husband said it best, there is nothing better than to watch your child have so much fun! Easter is so much more than eggs and all that but it was fun to enjoy those too!

We started our weekend doing a little eye throwing dying. 

 Brady was so into it this year but I think we had many casualties. At least they turned out pretty!

On Easter, we spent the morning as a family. It's hard to believe next year we'll have a 9 or 10 month old and a 3year old! 

After Brady finally settled down to nap, we headed to my IL's. Brady doesn't just get his love of animals from his momma but from his Nana too. They are so gentle and sweet with him too. He surprises me in how brave he is around these giant creatures. I, while I love them, am not so brave, especially when there is one who likes to lick you.

  

I was told by my husband that our Easter Bunny was a mean one since he brought bunny crackers, fruit snacks and yogurt raisins but his grandparents made up for it. I don't think the kid has ever had so much sugar in his life and even though I hid it all, he kept finding more!

                                         

The simple act of egg hunting was such a huge success. I may not of had more fun watching him!
 I can say there is something about this picture that will always make me smile.

 Even after we found all the eggs, he insisted there were more.

 We ended the weekend right..with lots of bubbles. We finally got out the bubble blower he got for his birthday! To say it was a hit is quite the understatement.

Good thing he's cute. It totally makes up for all the fun tantrums we've been lucky to endure lately. 

What I'm loving lately

Life has been busy in this household lately but life is treating us good and there is a lot to love. 

 This weekend for one...our first trip to the Circus! Both Blake and I don't think we had ever been as kids and so we were excited to go! Brady rode a pony and I think he smiled the entire time. I loved watching his face as he watched the show but had to laugh as the kid decided he needed to help clean up the trash around the arena. Can you tell his obsession with trash trucks has just grown?

 I'm loving the sweet little flowers my baby brings to me. I come home from work to a cup full of 'flowers' and he tells me, "I got you flowers, momma!' I mean, how can you not love that? I also have to add how much I love hearing him call me momma. Sometimes, he will call me mommy and there is something about his little voice calling me momma that gets me.

 Another thing to add to the list? Passing my glucose test. Yep. I wasn't sure it was going to happen but this lady is purely elated. My platelets are stable too. Double whew!

This show. Season finale was this week and I'm going to miss it. One of the best shows on right now.

The weather. Well, when it's not 90 in April. Yes, that happened.

Sleep. I can't get enough.

Getting into the "let's get crap done' stage. I love getting stuff checked off the list and organized. My productivity level at work is that of a person on crack. I'm dead serious, someone asked me the yesterday if there was smoke coming from my office, I was working so fast, ha!

This weekend, we organize the basement and I'm oddly excited. Sounds fun doesn't it?

Life with this kid. Of course, it's always top on my list. Yesterday, he was in a really lively mood. I called home to let Blake know I was on my way home and I hear Brady's response, "I LOVE Mommy! and trash truck, and Daddy too!" You can't help but smile when you hear that!

 I always tell him, "Do you know that I love you?" "Yes. I love you too.'' Like I said, there is a lot to love.

B2: 28 weeks

28 weeks people. The first trimester drug on forever and now I'm into my 3rd. Slow down! I know this post is no good without a picture but I'll get there. I feel like my life has been sucked out of me and all I want to do is sleep which I'm sure our busy schedule doesn't help. It doesn't help that there is a nasty green coating of pollen covering everything right now and making us all miserable.

So...fail. I failed my glucose test by 15 points. I'm taking the 3 hour right now and I'm crossing everything that I pass. It's just funny that I didn't pass this time around since I've been more active, weigh less and just feel better in general but I know that doesn't always matter! I know I can't help if I have gestational diabetes or not but I want everything to go as smoothly as it can to make a vbac a bit more likely! To wallow in learning of my failure the other day, I snagged a big ol' Starbucks java chip frap. Decaf of course. Now, I'm sitting here salivating at that thought.

Fasting is pure torture I tell you. Torture! I had to stop reading posts on Facebook because half of them were about food I almost wanted to eat my damn phone!

My platelets dropped again so I'm having those retested again as well. I'm going to up my iron intake (give me some spinach!) and hope they stay where they need to be.

I think Brady is getting used to the idea that he'll be having a brother soon. Brady got to feel the baby kick and actually talks about his baby brother now. I found him sitting in this the other day! When I told him he was way to big for it, he told me that his baby puma was not. Silly kid.

Don't you just love it? I was ecstatic when I won it, like more than I should be when it comes to baby equipment. I won it from here. She's got fabulous giveaways all the time! It's the most amazing baby thing I've ever seen and I think life would have been easier if we had it with Brady!

I made a comment that my belly was huge because his baby brother was getting so big and he tells me, "No, momma! The baby is little!" He's so funny but he's also right sometimes! Love that kid.

Then, he told me I don't have a belly button, which I guess to a 2 year old, my innie isn't in enough :)

Other than the glucose and platelets issues, everything else is going well. I'm getting more tired and worn out easier but when you are carrying a basketball, I'm sure that is to be expected. I just can't believe how fast time is flying.

A mother is born.

Last week, I was sitting at the lab, waiting to take my glucose test, which I freaking failed. More to come on that later. Another person waiting in the office started up conversation with another pregnant woman sitting on the other side of the room.

We made small talk and learned she was having her first baby.

It feels like it was just yesterday that I was sitting where she was. Nervously anticipating this new little life, unsure of what he would look like and fantasizing our new lives as parents. I felt prepared as we brought our baby home and looking back, there was no way to prepare me for what was to come or what my heart was about to endure.

Now, I'm seven months into my 2nd pregnancy with a 2 1/2 year old in tow. I think of all the things I'd tell that woman whose life was about to change in a way that holds no proper words.

I would tell myself that you'll look at the world in a whole new light. Everything is so much more beautiful, amazing and scary all at once. You'll find beauty in things you never noticed and you'll find worry in unexpected places.

I would tell myself that being a mom is hard, really hard.  Nothing can ever prepare you for it.

You'll watch too many episodes of Dora and wonder how the hell she manages to move around with that big ol' head.

You will repeat yourself a lot and forget things even if you swear to have the best memory.

You'll defend your choices, stand your ground and find a voice you didn't know you had.

There is no limit to what your heart can hold.

I read a quote once that described motherhood as having your heart walk around outside of you and its the truest of truths. You feel that child's happiness, their sadness and their pain and find you would do just about anything to keep tears at bay.

The thing that I could never really get across or express enough is the love and the emotions that come along with this new life. There are no words to describe how you feel when you pick up that tiny, helpless little being for the first time and you immediately forget what life was like before. The feeling you get inside when you  watch your child's face light up as he experiences something for the first time.

There are no words to express how you feel inside when your sweet baby call you by name or tells you, "I wuv you, momma!" for the first time.

Those are sheer emotions that bear no name. There is no word or phrase that can truly come close to fitting that feeling that wells up inside of you. It's a raw and powerful emotion that embraces you tightly and gently. It is pure perfection.

As we both went our separate ways, I could not help but smile. I smile at beauty that lies ahead for her. I smile because that is simply what motherhood does to you. It brings a sense of peace and pure contentment to you life. I can honestly say, motherhood has completed and fulfilled me in a way I never expected.

I smile because I simply cannot imagine my life any other way.

Then, I smile just thinking of who introduced me into motherhood and simply because I get to see this everyday.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before.

The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

-- Rajneesh

Why, hello!

Hello, third trimseter!

I didn't expect to meet you so soon. I didn't expect it to be 80+ degrees in March either.

I feel bad that I'm not documenting my pregnancy with this little guy as much as I did with Brady but life has been so busy, it's hard. Work is at the craziest time, the weather has been amazing and well, time is just going by too fast. I remember feeling like the 1st trimester was never going to end. It was such a rough and scary time, I am feeling more than incredibly blessed that I am sailing into the home stretch.

I am feeling great though and I'm afraid I'm going to jinx it. I've gained half the amount of weight so far that I did with Brady, no swelling so far and carpel tunnel is almost nonexistent. At this point with Brady, I was swelling like the stay puft man and carpel tunnel was awful! I would like to avoid both of those if I can! Other than being huge and having back pain, I am feeling good!
I was just thinking that I was not having many cravings until I realized that I've eaten peanut butter and banana toast almost everyday. Oh...and fruit loops. Those are pretty awesome too. I could live on chicken salad if given the choice too.

I'm getting ready to sign up Brady for a sibling class at the hospital and I'm excited to see how he'll do. He's getting so big and he understands so much more than I realize. I really am excited for my boys to meet but I'm embracing our time together.

As I get closer and closer to my due date (which I do not believe I will make it too. I said the same thing with Brady and I was right!) I am getting more and more nervous about delivery. I know it is not in my hands but to say I'm not nervous, scared or worried would be a lie. In my dr's words, there are some things I can control but past that, it's up to someone else. I am just taking it one day at a time right now and that is okay with me.

Soaking it in.

We've been busy round these parts. We've all been sick and this poor little guy included. He had his first real fever (he has had low grade fever once or twice but this one got over 101.) The poor kid has been miserable the past few weeks anyway with allergies. 

Mother nature is a bit confused and and we have had gorgeous, summer-like weather! I'm talking about 80 degree weather here people! I'm soaking it all in before our lives change this summer! I can't express in words how much fun he is and how much I love this age. His newest phrase, which melts my heart is, "I just love it!" 

 We've been doing lots of swinging high.

Lots of playing in the sand.  Nana and Papa surprised him with a sandbox which he has said over and over, 'I just love my sandbox!" or "I just love it!' Again, my heart turns to mush!

 Lots of blowing bubbles or for him, eating bubbles. 'I just love bubbles, momma' he says as he chases them around till they pop mid air or he squishes them with his toes!

He also likes to tell me how he's feeling. The other day, he was pretty sick and he told me, "I don't like to eat today!" I just love hearing the things he says and it cracks me up when he uses big words. Neighbor. Dandelion.  I love how he tells me how much he loves something or how happy it makes him. Sometimes, he sounds so grown up and I have to remind myself, he's not a little baby anymore. 'Yes, Grandma, I went to Nana's.' 

                          

More than anything, I love how each night as we are snuggling before bed after his story, he takes my cheeks and squeezes them. He lets out a joyful chuckle and then gives me a big kiss. Love you, momma.

Life does not get better than that.

Mattel's Power of Play

Mattel is doing big things. I'm big on playtime and it's not because it's fun (though that helps too!) Coming from an early education background, I know how important play is for growth and development and want my child to learn as much as he can. I also know that there are too many children who are not encouraged to participate in positive play or do not have the opportunity for beneficial play. That is where Mattel is stepping in and I have to say, I love this idea. 

Mattel's Power Of Play Philanthropic Initiative is doing big things for our kids. Mattel has teamed up with several different organizations to bring the power to play to children in need nationwide. Some of those organizations include the Special Olympics, Make A Wish Foundation and Save the Children, (all organizations I have seen firsthand do great things!)

As a child, I remember running around outside, playing for hours on end after school. I want the same thing for my children. I know that sometimes life, busy schedules, sports practices and school commitments get in the way but this video has some great tips and more about their philanthropic initiative. 

Also, click here for a fun coloring play tip sheet! 

 Now, go play! 

I have been compensated for this post through my connection with MomSelect, however all opinions are all my own and I do believe that  play is so important to our children.

A whole other world.

Holy cow. As I'm about to say this, we are approaching one of the most dreaded times of the year (daylight savings!) and I'm hoping that does not screw up anything but I hope I can safely say we are sleeping more than ever now!

Yes. You read that right. We are sleeping. We are ALL sleeping!!! Life with sleep is a whole new world!

I know, crazy right? I mean it only took him 2 1/2 years to figure out that sleeping is good! The best part of all of this besides the fact that momma is not going insane is that he is very proud of himself.

He ran into our room this morning and goes, "I sleep ALL night, momma!" I'm very proud of him too.

Brady has STTN for most of the last few weeks with a few exceptions but this is life changing people. I'm still tired most days but I'm starting to be able to STTN myself now too! Like I said, there have been a few nights where he has woken up but those are due to him feeling like crap from allergies (oh man, we are in for it this year if this is how they are already starting!) so that is understandable.

He might need 6 blankets, a horse, a kitty and a rubber spider in his bed AND three trash trucks (he is obsessed!) sleeping besides him in order to go to sleep but hey, I'm picking my battles here people!

Life with good sleep is a whole new world, I almost forgot what it is like! I'm almost spoiled enough now that when this new baby comes my world is going to be rocked!

Speaking of B2 (no, no names yet!) he is growing well! I had my 2nd anatomy scan since the first one he decided not to cooperate with anything besides showing his goods. They needed to get a better look at his heart and kidney's and we got the clear that it looks good! Whew! It was not easy though, the kid is in a funky spot, head down and face down so he refused to look at momma so no sweet profile pics for this kid's baby book. He's just nice and comfy in there I guess.

We discussed how everything is going well this time around (i started swelling by now with Brady) and hopefully that means delivery will go smoothly as well! I've been in a bit of a freak out mode that we have so much to do before this guy makes his entrance so I'm hoping we can at least get his room cleared out by the end of the month!

A name would be good too but that isn't looking good.

As a big reward for being such a big boy, we took him to Chuck E Cheese this weekend. Lesson learned. Never ever go back.

That is unless we want to feel good about ourselves as parents because I swear you will leave that place feeling like the most amazing parent EVER.

Those fleeting thoughts

There are moments when I look at this kid and I think, "Holy crap! That is MY kid!''

I have a little routine that I then go into.

I have a moment of panic where I can't believe I am responsible for this little life. Then, I go, "holy, crap! I'm going to have TWO little lives to be responsible for." (I still remember as we left the hospital with Brady, Blake and I looked at each other with the same puzzled look on our faces, both of us thinking, "I can't believe they are letting us take this baby HOME with us!'')

Then, I get all sappy and just wanna squeeze him and plant his sweet cheeks with kisses!

Being a mom is amazing. That is all.

Days like this.

If you reading this in Google reader and if you changed to my domain, I'm just at blogger for now (long story but helping out a friend!)

Ah. Some days, life is so good, you never want that moment to end. Sunday was one of those. It started out with him sleeping ALL NIGHT (he will tell you that too!) and playing quietly in his room.

I told him how proud of I was of him for sleeping so well all week. He later responds, 'Please, take me bye-bye!" How do you resist that?

 There was lots of swinging, big slides and lots of laughter.

There is something about hearing your child tell you he is so happy that makes your heart do flip-flops.

"I'm so excited, momma!' "I have fun!"

After dinner at Nana and Papa's, Brady fed their horses carrots and apples, Then, mommy let him 'ride' one of the horses. He was so excited! Feeding the horses (they also have goats and ducks too) is something he does almost every week when he goes over there (they watch him on Monday's!) but Mommy has not been lucky enough to witness this! He was such a pro and so proud of himself! 

                                                   

It's day like this that I want to bottle up. The look in his eyes and that feeling in my heart. I have always been sad to watch him grow up but I find so much more to love with each age. Our time as a family of three is limited and while I know it will only make our lives more complete, I find myself wondering how there could possibly be room in my heart. 

 Then, I look at him. Sleeping peacefully or giving me that look at only a child can give his momma and my worries dissipate. 

two

It would be hard to simply say that our lives have changed over the past two years but not a moment has gone by that we have not forgotten or felt like a piece of us was missing.

Two years ago today, we lost a friend and it changed us. Over the course of thirteen months, we lost too many more and I was sure life would never feel right again.

Two years is a long time but it still feels like yesterday. We slowly are trusting the happiness that we have been blessed with and in some ways, starting over.

I know there are days when I fear what will happen next or I feel guilty for feeling so happy but at the end of every storm, there is a rainbow. Cheesy as it may sound, I feel like that is the course our lives have taken.

after rain there's a rainbow, after a storm there's calm, after the night there's a morning, and after a ending there's a new beginning. -unkown

 The next few months are marked with more 'anniversaries' but while there may have been a time in the past when it had broken us down, we are resilient. I feel more confident than ever saying that. We've struggled a lot of over the past two years, more than I'd let myself admit but I know we are stronger than ever.

We will welcome our beautiful baby boy this summer and become a family of four. His life will just be beginning  but it marks so much more for all of us. We have so much to be thankful for and I'm so ready for this new chapter in our lives.

As we start this next chapter, I know we will not be doing it alone.