B2: 28 weeks

28 weeks people. The first trimester drug on forever and now I'm into my 3rd. Slow down! I know this post is no good without a picture but I'll get there. I feel like my life has been sucked out of me and all I want to do is sleep which I'm sure our busy schedule doesn't help. It doesn't help that there is a nasty green coating of pollen covering everything right now and making us all miserable.

So...fail. I failed my glucose test by 15 points. I'm taking the 3 hour right now and I'm crossing everything that I pass. It's just funny that I didn't pass this time around since I've been more active, weigh less and just feel better in general but I know that doesn't always matter! I know I can't help if I have gestational diabetes or not but I want everything to go as smoothly as it can to make a vbac a bit more likely! To wallow in learning of my failure the other day, I snagged a big ol' Starbucks java chip frap. Decaf of course. Now, I'm sitting here salivating at that thought.

Fasting is pure torture I tell you. Torture! I had to stop reading posts on Facebook because half of them were about food I almost wanted to eat my damn phone!

My platelets dropped again so I'm having those retested again as well. I'm going to up my iron intake (give me some spinach!) and hope they stay where they need to be.

I think Brady is getting used to the idea that he'll be having a brother soon. Brady got to feel the baby kick and actually talks about his baby brother now. I found him sitting in this the other day! When I told him he was way to big for it, he told me that his baby puma was not. Silly kid.

Don't you just love it? I was ecstatic when I won it, like more than I should be when it comes to baby equipment. I won it from here. She's got fabulous giveaways all the time! It's the most amazing baby thing I've ever seen and I think life would have been easier if we had it with Brady!

I made a comment that my belly was huge because his baby brother was getting so big and he tells me, "No, momma! The baby is little!" He's so funny but he's also right sometimes! Love that kid.

Then, he told me I don't have a belly button, which I guess to a 2 year old, my innie isn't in enough :)

Other than the glucose and platelets issues, everything else is going well. I'm getting more tired and worn out easier but when you are carrying a basketball, I'm sure that is to be expected. I just can't believe how fast time is flying.

A mother is born.

Last week, I was sitting at the lab, waiting to take my glucose test, which I freaking failed. More to come on that later. Another person waiting in the office started up conversation with another pregnant woman sitting on the other side of the room.

We made small talk and learned she was having her first baby.

It feels like it was just yesterday that I was sitting where she was. Nervously anticipating this new little life, unsure of what he would look like and fantasizing our new lives as parents. I felt prepared as we brought our baby home and looking back, there was no way to prepare me for what was to come or what my heart was about to endure.

Now, I'm seven months into my 2nd pregnancy with a 2 1/2 year old in tow. I think of all the things I'd tell that woman whose life was about to change in a way that holds no proper words.

I would tell myself that you'll look at the world in a whole new light. Everything is so much more beautiful, amazing and scary all at once. You'll find beauty in things you never noticed and you'll find worry in unexpected places.

I would tell myself that being a mom is hard, really hard.  Nothing can ever prepare you for it.

You'll watch too many episodes of Dora and wonder how the hell she manages to move around with that big ol' head.

You will repeat yourself a lot and forget things even if you swear to have the best memory.

You'll defend your choices, stand your ground and find a voice you didn't know you had.

There is no limit to what your heart can hold.

I read a quote once that described motherhood as having your heart walk around outside of you and its the truest of truths. You feel that child's happiness, their sadness and their pain and find you would do just about anything to keep tears at bay.

The thing that I could never really get across or express enough is the love and the emotions that come along with this new life. There are no words to describe how you feel when you pick up that tiny, helpless little being for the first time and you immediately forget what life was like before. The feeling you get inside when you  watch your child's face light up as he experiences something for the first time.

There are no words to express how you feel inside when your sweet baby call you by name or tells you, "I wuv you, momma!" for the first time.

Those are sheer emotions that bear no name. There is no word or phrase that can truly come close to fitting that feeling that wells up inside of you. It's a raw and powerful emotion that embraces you tightly and gently. It is pure perfection.

As we both went our separate ways, I could not help but smile. I smile at beauty that lies ahead for her. I smile because that is simply what motherhood does to you. It brings a sense of peace and pure contentment to you life. I can honestly say, motherhood has completed and fulfilled me in a way I never expected.

I smile because I simply cannot imagine my life any other way.

Then, I smile just thinking of who introduced me into motherhood and simply because I get to see this everyday.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before.

The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

-- Rajneesh

Why, hello!

Hello, third trimseter!

I didn't expect to meet you so soon. I didn't expect it to be 80+ degrees in March either.

I feel bad that I'm not documenting my pregnancy with this little guy as much as I did with Brady but life has been so busy, it's hard. Work is at the craziest time, the weather has been amazing and well, time is just going by too fast. I remember feeling like the 1st trimester was never going to end. It was such a rough and scary time, I am feeling more than incredibly blessed that I am sailing into the home stretch.

I am feeling great though and I'm afraid I'm going to jinx it. I've gained half the amount of weight so far that I did with Brady, no swelling so far and carpel tunnel is almost nonexistent. At this point with Brady, I was swelling like the stay puft man and carpel tunnel was awful! I would like to avoid both of those if I can! Other than being huge and having back pain, I am feeling good!
I was just thinking that I was not having many cravings until I realized that I've eaten peanut butter and banana toast almost everyday. Oh...and fruit loops. Those are pretty awesome too. I could live on chicken salad if given the choice too.

I'm getting ready to sign up Brady for a sibling class at the hospital and I'm excited to see how he'll do. He's getting so big and he understands so much more than I realize. I really am excited for my boys to meet but I'm embracing our time together.

As I get closer and closer to my due date (which I do not believe I will make it too. I said the same thing with Brady and I was right!) I am getting more and more nervous about delivery. I know it is not in my hands but to say I'm not nervous, scared or worried would be a lie. In my dr's words, there are some things I can control but past that, it's up to someone else. I am just taking it one day at a time right now and that is okay with me.

Soaking it in.

We've been busy round these parts. We've all been sick and this poor little guy included. He had his first real fever (he has had low grade fever once or twice but this one got over 101.) The poor kid has been miserable the past few weeks anyway with allergies. 

Mother nature is a bit confused and and we have had gorgeous, summer-like weather! I'm talking about 80 degree weather here people! I'm soaking it all in before our lives change this summer! I can't express in words how much fun he is and how much I love this age. His newest phrase, which melts my heart is, "I just love it!" 

 We've been doing lots of swinging high.

Lots of playing in the sand.  Nana and Papa surprised him with a sandbox which he has said over and over, 'I just love my sandbox!" or "I just love it!' Again, my heart turns to mush!

 Lots of blowing bubbles or for him, eating bubbles. 'I just love bubbles, momma' he says as he chases them around till they pop mid air or he squishes them with his toes!

He also likes to tell me how he's feeling. The other day, he was pretty sick and he told me, "I don't like to eat today!" I just love hearing the things he says and it cracks me up when he uses big words. Neighbor. Dandelion.  I love how he tells me how much he loves something or how happy it makes him. Sometimes, he sounds so grown up and I have to remind myself, he's not a little baby anymore. 'Yes, Grandma, I went to Nana's.' 

                          

More than anything, I love how each night as we are snuggling before bed after his story, he takes my cheeks and squeezes them. He lets out a joyful chuckle and then gives me a big kiss. Love you, momma.

Life does not get better than that.

Mattel's Power of Play

Mattel is doing big things. I'm big on playtime and it's not because it's fun (though that helps too!) Coming from an early education background, I know how important play is for growth and development and want my child to learn as much as he can. I also know that there are too many children who are not encouraged to participate in positive play or do not have the opportunity for beneficial play. That is where Mattel is stepping in and I have to say, I love this idea. 

Mattel's Power Of Play Philanthropic Initiative is doing big things for our kids. Mattel has teamed up with several different organizations to bring the power to play to children in need nationwide. Some of those organizations include the Special Olympics, Make A Wish Foundation and Save the Children, (all organizations I have seen firsthand do great things!)

As a child, I remember running around outside, playing for hours on end after school. I want the same thing for my children. I know that sometimes life, busy schedules, sports practices and school commitments get in the way but this video has some great tips and more about their philanthropic initiative. 

Also, click here for a fun coloring play tip sheet! 

 Now, go play! 

I have been compensated for this post through my connection with MomSelect, however all opinions are all my own and I do believe that  play is so important to our children.

A whole other world.

Holy cow. As I'm about to say this, we are approaching one of the most dreaded times of the year (daylight savings!) and I'm hoping that does not screw up anything but I hope I can safely say we are sleeping more than ever now!

Yes. You read that right. We are sleeping. We are ALL sleeping!!! Life with sleep is a whole new world!

I know, crazy right? I mean it only took him 2 1/2 years to figure out that sleeping is good! The best part of all of this besides the fact that momma is not going insane is that he is very proud of himself.

He ran into our room this morning and goes, "I sleep ALL night, momma!" I'm very proud of him too.

Brady has STTN for most of the last few weeks with a few exceptions but this is life changing people. I'm still tired most days but I'm starting to be able to STTN myself now too! Like I said, there have been a few nights where he has woken up but those are due to him feeling like crap from allergies (oh man, we are in for it this year if this is how they are already starting!) so that is understandable.

He might need 6 blankets, a horse, a kitty and a rubber spider in his bed AND three trash trucks (he is obsessed!) sleeping besides him in order to go to sleep but hey, I'm picking my battles here people!

Life with good sleep is a whole new world, I almost forgot what it is like! I'm almost spoiled enough now that when this new baby comes my world is going to be rocked!

Speaking of B2 (no, no names yet!) he is growing well! I had my 2nd anatomy scan since the first one he decided not to cooperate with anything besides showing his goods. They needed to get a better look at his heart and kidney's and we got the clear that it looks good! Whew! It was not easy though, the kid is in a funky spot, head down and face down so he refused to look at momma so no sweet profile pics for this kid's baby book. He's just nice and comfy in there I guess.

We discussed how everything is going well this time around (i started swelling by now with Brady) and hopefully that means delivery will go smoothly as well! I've been in a bit of a freak out mode that we have so much to do before this guy makes his entrance so I'm hoping we can at least get his room cleared out by the end of the month!

A name would be good too but that isn't looking good.

As a big reward for being such a big boy, we took him to Chuck E Cheese this weekend. Lesson learned. Never ever go back.

That is unless we want to feel good about ourselves as parents because I swear you will leave that place feeling like the most amazing parent EVER.

Those fleeting thoughts

There are moments when I look at this kid and I think, "Holy crap! That is MY kid!''

I have a little routine that I then go into.

I have a moment of panic where I can't believe I am responsible for this little life. Then, I go, "holy, crap! I'm going to have TWO little lives to be responsible for." (I still remember as we left the hospital with Brady, Blake and I looked at each other with the same puzzled look on our faces, both of us thinking, "I can't believe they are letting us take this baby HOME with us!'')

Then, I get all sappy and just wanna squeeze him and plant his sweet cheeks with kisses!

Being a mom is amazing. That is all.

Days like this.

If you reading this in Google reader and if you changed to my domain, I'm just at blogger for now (long story but helping out a friend!)

Ah. Some days, life is so good, you never want that moment to end. Sunday was one of those. It started out with him sleeping ALL NIGHT (he will tell you that too!) and playing quietly in his room.

I told him how proud of I was of him for sleeping so well all week. He later responds, 'Please, take me bye-bye!" How do you resist that?

 There was lots of swinging, big slides and lots of laughter.

There is something about hearing your child tell you he is so happy that makes your heart do flip-flops.

"I'm so excited, momma!' "I have fun!"

After dinner at Nana and Papa's, Brady fed their horses carrots and apples, Then, mommy let him 'ride' one of the horses. He was so excited! Feeding the horses (they also have goats and ducks too) is something he does almost every week when he goes over there (they watch him on Monday's!) but Mommy has not been lucky enough to witness this! He was such a pro and so proud of himself! 

                                                   

It's day like this that I want to bottle up. The look in his eyes and that feeling in my heart. I have always been sad to watch him grow up but I find so much more to love with each age. Our time as a family of three is limited and while I know it will only make our lives more complete, I find myself wondering how there could possibly be room in my heart. 

 Then, I look at him. Sleeping peacefully or giving me that look at only a child can give his momma and my worries dissipate. 

two

It would be hard to simply say that our lives have changed over the past two years but not a moment has gone by that we have not forgotten or felt like a piece of us was missing.

Two years ago today, we lost a friend and it changed us. Over the course of thirteen months, we lost too many more and I was sure life would never feel right again.

Two years is a long time but it still feels like yesterday. We slowly are trusting the happiness that we have been blessed with and in some ways, starting over.

I know there are days when I fear what will happen next or I feel guilty for feeling so happy but at the end of every storm, there is a rainbow. Cheesy as it may sound, I feel like that is the course our lives have taken.

after rain there's a rainbow, after a storm there's calm, after the night there's a morning, and after a ending there's a new beginning. -unkown

 The next few months are marked with more 'anniversaries' but while there may have been a time in the past when it had broken us down, we are resilient. I feel more confident than ever saying that. We've struggled a lot of over the past two years, more than I'd let myself admit but I know we are stronger than ever.

We will welcome our beautiful baby boy this summer and become a family of four. His life will just be beginning  but it marks so much more for all of us. We have so much to be thankful for and I'm so ready for this new chapter in our lives.

As we start this next chapter, I know we will not be doing it alone.

Not so wordless Weds.

I don't post videos often but I have to share a few. They are not so great quality (coming from my cracked IPhone that makes me think I really need to try out the video on my new camera!) but this is Brady's own version of Patty Cake.

I love this age so much. It is so much fun and I love hearing the things that come out of his mouth. I swear he makes us laugh every day!

The kid knows his animals but it's his expression that crack me up, especially the giant, cheesy laugh at the end.  

Woah

The past two nights of Operation Detox have not been as great as the 2nd night but better than it has been before. While we cut off milk around 7, he still managed to wake up with a soaking wet diaper which then led to changing his jammies and a wide awake little boy who wanted to party.

Friday was a tantrum of epic proportions. It was more so because he wanted to be in our bed than the no milk. I'm trying to be strong and it's not easy but I stayed consistent, even when he pleaded and begged, "Just a little bit of milk, plllllllllleeeeeasssssse!"

Last night it happened again but daddy took over and things went smoothly (which is so not fair!) but then a slight miracle happened.

 Something that never has happened in our house before.

 He woke up (and not at the butt crack of dawn!) and stayed in his room, playing quietly. The door was wide open with him free to roam the house and come wake us up but he didn't. He stayed in there and played. This might be something that many kids do and have done before but not my kid. He would wake up roaring waking anyone in his path.

I slept till 8 am and it was pure heaven.

I think he would have played longer but I went in his room to make sure no one swapped my kid with another.

Hello, sleep.

It's well-known that my kid is not the greatest at sleeping. How we he has functioned the last 2 years on crappy sleeps is beyond me.

Sleep for the first 10-11 months was nonexistant. He started sleeping better once he started walking. Then, molars came and sleep went to hell again and the cycle continued. Again and again.

Then this summer, all hell broke loose.

He wanted to be in our bed. He wanted milk. He wanted me to lay in his room, to hold his hand. To solve world peace.

Then, we started noticing a trend.

I put him to bed. Wah. Wah. Insert hell breaking loose.

Daddy or grandma or random stranger (ok, we don't let random strangers put him to bed but he would sleep better for a stranger than me!!) puts him to bed and he sleeps like a baby should. Well, mostly.

The one thing that was always easy for him (going to sleep, just not staying asleep) was turning into a big, fat fight. It was exhausting.

I knew something had to change.

That brought about, Operation Detox.

Hi. My name is Amy and my kid is a milk addict. He wants it in the morning, the afternoon, after naps and even before bed. Sometimes, he wants it in the middle of the night. The kid would be happy if he had his own damn cow!

I knew there would be crying, screaming and some shaking, which mostly came from me. We are on our 3rd day and the first two were pretty much what I thought they would be.

Typically, he would have a cup of milk before bed. Then, that would lead to a 2nd cup. Then, we would start the rest of his bedtime routine and he would wake up 1-34,3433 times in the middle of the night asking for more. I knew that if we wanted to ever sleep again or for him to ever get potty trained, the milk would have to go.

 It is his equivalent of a lovey or a pacifier.

Yep, sometime he slept with his empty cup, along with 3 choo-choos, a stuffed horse and a cat. I guess the kid likes to be surrounded by things he loves.

Mean mommy cut him off cold turkey. It worked so well when we cut out bottles, I knew this was the way it had to go. Well, not cold, cold. Milk is not off limits during the day.

Then, last night, a miracle happened. He went to bed. He stayed in bed all night. He did wake up at 5 am (Momma, I pee. That indeed he did.) but it didn't matter. He slept.

Now, lets all pray this sticks. I need a few months of sleep before my world is rocked again.

Until then, I'll search for a support group for momma's of milk addicts.

Randoms truths on a Thursday!



I got a new camera and am in camera heaven. I swear it is 1,000x's faster than my old camera and I kinda love it more than I should love an inanimate object. 

I love this kid and his quirky personality.

I do not love the fact that a broken banana or a misplaced train track leads to tears.

I also do not love the fact that he feels the need to party in the middle of the night. I am pretty sure my kid could win the award for being the crappiest sleeper but just for me! He can somehow sleep great for anyone else. Not cool, buddy!

He though, told me yesterday, "Momma, I love trucks!" which we knew already since he talks about them 345,309,393 times a day. I'm in the process getting started to redo his room in attempts to make him want to sleep in there. This process involves sheets with trucks on them.

Yes, I sometimes resort to bribery enticement.

I think that even though I had Monday off, this is the longest week ever.

Some days, I feel like this baby is dancing right on my cervix.

Cervix is a weird word once you say it a few times.

I ate so much food in Tunica and Memphis this weekend, I am pretty sure I gained 10 pounds.

Fried strawberries are the most amazing thing ever.

I wish I had one right now.

Actually, I'd like a whole order. One just wouldn't do it.

I had a nightmare dream last night I had a 12 pound baby.

We are starting potty training this weekend. I may chicken out.

I am starting to get into organizing mode but lack the energy to do it. I also have no idea what color I want to paint the baby's room.

Actually, I would like to blink and it all be done.

If I could have that power, I would blink and be at home right now and not at my desk. It would be bed time in fact.

I bought a mug that is 54 oz. I am hoping that by drinking water out of it everyday, I will have nice buff arms.

I have two more weeks until my repeat ultrasound (since my last one yielded crappy results) and I can't wait to see the little big booger again!



The truth about 'momnesia' or not...

 I guess there is something to the 'momnesia' that people told me about in hopes of getting me through the hardest days. I didn't forget that feeling I felt when I first saw Brady for the first time and got to hold his squishy little face in my hands. I didn't forget how months of sleepless nights can make you crazy. 

Having been through this already, you think I'd be prepared for the crazy things that pregnancy can do to you, right? Enter momnesia. Apparently, it's real, well, kind of. 

I feel like this child is draining brain cells as I type and I certainly don't remember feeling this dumb last time. I don't know how many times I've heard myself say, "what was I doing?'  I seriously feel dumber everyday and think that Brady is starting to figure out how to use this to his advantage. Then again, I am sure part of this is due to two years of sleepless nights.

I forgot about the fact that boobs could grow to epic proportions. Brady obviously noticed as I heard him chanting, 'momma big boobs.' I know we didn't teach him that! 

Coughing? Sneezing? Yeah, don't go there. 

I actually did  for a brief second forget about the ridiculous comments people make. 

Are you going to have a third to 'shoot for a girl?' "You sure are getting big!" Those of course are my favorite for now until cankles set in later. 

I did actually forget how awful it is to wake up in the middle of the night to find your hand feels like a solid rock. I compare pregnancy induced carpel tunnel to Mr. Deed's dead foot. I forgot how sexy wearing wrist guards to bed can be!

 I didn't quite forget about all the time you spend running to the bathroom! I know where all the best bathrooms are in the greater St. Louis area and yes, I plan my day around them! 

I didn't forget though, how amazing it is to feel that little baby squirm around and those sweet little jabs. It feels a bit different this time though since I don't have an anterior placenta and I'm enjoying every second. These are the moments that make it all worth it. That I can attest to. 

Then again, ask me in a few months. I'm sure I'll have forgotten most of this. 

Just a few random tidbits

I am still in awe we are having another boy. Actually, I'm still in awe we are really having another baby! I'm so thrilled that Brady will have a buddy to play, show the ropes of the world and get in lots of trouble! I really am so excited to see Brady step into that role!

We have nothing done. I keep laughing because there is a treadmill, an elliptical, a desk, and a ton of bowling balls in his future bedroom! We need to install some sort of organizational something into his closet since what is in there is falling apart. The room needs to be painted and we actually need a new window too! Yikes! In the midst of this, I need to switch Brady to a new big bed (twin probably unless I can convince someone to get us a king size!) so that B2 can have his mattress. Lots to do! (Side note: If anyone finds any cute truck/car sheets...that was his request!)

I won't be working on it this weekend though! I'm taking a mini trip away with a few friends. I'm looking forward to sleeping in, eating good food and relaxing! I cannot tell you how much this is needed. Brady's sleeping has been awful lately and I'm just purely exhausted. I am starting to freak out that I am leaving my baby boy for three whole nights. I'm sure I"ll miss him more than he'll miss me since he has some fun stuff planned with Daddy, his Aunt and Grandma! The hormones don't help because I get all teary thinking about leaving him! 

I do plan on indulging in a bit of Southern cooking and BBQ. More than anything, I'm pretty pumped to eat her food. Bring on the butta! 

The weekend after next, we are going to attempt potty training. Insert a big scary face here because that is how I feel about it. 

Ah, I've started the daycare/preschool search. I'm not quite sure what we'll be doing once B2 comes but I've been putting this off for that reason. I decided that it really wasn't fair to Brady and started looking into a few. I'm hoping to send him a few days while I"m on maternity leave to give him a little something that is just for him. Plus, he needs to get out of the house. I'm nervous about delving into all the germs because we've been so lucky so far and he's rarely been sick. I'm excited for what will mean to him and what he'll learn! 

I can't believe all the changes that are too come. With change, brings good things. Good things are good!

Test

It's a......

Well, that was an adventure.

We ended up having to take Brady with us to the ultrasound, which he did pretty well except the whole trying to pull the ultrasound tech's pants off. Yeah. That's my kid!

There was absolutely no suspense. In fact, the tech couldn't see anything but what was in between this baby's legs. We have to go back to get a better picture of all the good stuff but so far this kid is measuring a bit on the larger size! Yikes!

Per all your requests, finally a belly picture!

I'm really excited for Brady to have a little brother! He's pretty excited too though we'll have to wait to see if he still is AFTER this baby comes!

Preperation

I'm halfway there peeps. HALFWAY!

Yippee!

Yikes!

Tomorrow, we find out what is or is not between this baby's legs!

I'm already prepping him or her to spread em' which got me thinking of all the things we will need to do to prepare for his/her arrival!

Of course we have to get the room ready and all that fun stuff but this time, while we have almost everything we should need, there is a bit more to add to the list.
Teach the importance of sleep. I apparently should have done that with Brady right after conception.

Go through Brady's baby stuff. Wash, sanitize to ensure all the baby puke remnants are gone.

Probably purchase new bibs, burp clothes because puke remnants are not easy to get out permanently.

Prep Brady, i.e. sign him up for a sibling preparation class and hope that Brady still likes the baby afterwards.

Plan some Mommy/Brady dates. I am going to soak up my one-on-one time with him!

Get work as caught up as I possibly can so I don't come back to mean coworkers.

Pep talk. Begin having pep talks with baby to encourage the proper exit route.

So, yes, lots to do!


Want to cast YOUR vote?

Boy? Girl? Undecided?

He said what?

We've been talking a lot about boys and girls with our big ultrasound coming up (FIVE days, people!) and I guess it's caused Brady to realize a few things that essentially led to this coversation the other day.


 :: Brady comes running in from the bathroom::

"Brady have little pee pee! Mommy no have pee pee anymore!"

Me: ::oh crap....wait, anymore? I had one before? Hmmm, what to say, think, Amy, think!:::

"Yes, mommy is a girl and Brady is a boy!''

Brady: Uh, huh!

We haven't really taught the proper names yet because he started calling all parts a 'pee pee' and I figured we would 'go there' when he was a bit older.

Well, I guess now is that time.

Reconnecting

The past few weeks, sleep has gone from crappy to all out awful. It started as teething and moved to separation anxiety. Then, I heard the words I never expected my very independent, very particular kid to say. "Sleep in mommas bed, please!' The kid likes his space and has NEVER asked this before and after being up with him a few times, I caved. He slept till 7:30 which has happened a few times I can count on one hand in the past two years.

There were a few nights Daddy had to work late or overnight so I let him sleep with me again. The kid is so sweet and turned to me to say, "momma, I wanna sleep with you.'' meaning he wanted me to put my arm around him or 'momma hold my hand.'

How do you deny that? Oh man, oh man.

On Monday, we slept till 8:30, a time I have rarely seen on my sleep-in days.  It was glorious.

I have to laugh because I know we are starting an awfully bad habit but maybe last year during our nights of hell, this was the solution all this time.

  I have to say though, I don't know if it's the quality time we've had lately, the age he is at or what but I feel like we have grown closer and our bond solidified, not to say ours has lessened but I had let the craziness of life get away from us.

 The past few months we've had a lot of things going on  with the holidays, my pregnancy's ups and downs, the craziness of being a working mom and just the terrible twos!  I was tired with no help from the sleepless nights and the fatigue of pregnancy but to be honest, life was feeling monotonous.

 I struggled through the ins and outs of daily life. Each day felt like it would never end and I was left more exhausted and feeling guilty for not enjoying this blessed life I've been given. 

What I needed to just let go of all the crap that needed to be done or the crazy lists in my head but it's never that easy. There are mouths to feed and clean clothes to be worn. 

So, thanks to Daddy's crazy work schedule, we had a few 'dates' which we haven't had time to do with everything going on and I missed our little 'dates.' We even had lunch at a decent restaurant, made a trip to a kid's museum, enjoyed some yummy Italian food and enjoyed an oddly warm wintry day in January. 

It was just what the doctor ordered.

 Being a mom is not easy. We all know that and we all stop and think, 'Wow! Where did time go?" We vow to take more time to enjoy the little things but saying that is easier said than done.  While I try really hard, life does get away and it seems to go faster with time. I did this just the other day as I listened to my child tell me about his day at Nana's. Where did the time go? 

 Sometimes, I have to stop and remind myself that it's ok to let it go. It's okay for everything to be a mess or life to look less than perfect because well, that is reality. It's also okay not to live in the moment all the time. Actually, it's impossible for even the most ambitious super moms.

Sometimes, the hustle and bustle of life is what makes you appreciate it all that much more but sometimes, you have to say screw it and have some fun. Sometimes, the day is full of too many tantrums, tears or late meetings so you have to put the fun on hold but when the time calls for a good time, it's so worth it.