20: The countdown to 2 begins.

Dear Brady,

We have had a fabulous month full of new adventures, words, and lots of love. The other day, I watched you as you stacked one block onto another and while I've watched you do this so many times, this time seemed different. Your blond hair has come in a shade of brown and your eyes are darkening to an unknown shade. You stack that block so effortlessly, like you have been doing it forever. Then, after your cousin's first birthday party, I realized how much you have grown up.

You are becoming so independent. You go down the slides all by yourself. You eat with a fork and a spoon. You are just getting so big. Mommy gave you a haircut (not a very good one, might I add) and your hair is coming is so much darker! Your eyes are not so blue anymore either and we question what color they will end up!

 I want to capture moments in your life and bottle it up forever. Like the way your run. It melts my heart in so many ways, I can't even find words for it. It's this sweet little run that with a little bit of awkward grace. It's so perfect and I know one day, I'll watch you run down the street and that run will be just a distant memory.

 You are so thrilled with the simple things. I wish I could have a taste of what that feels like. Right as I took this picture, you saw a big truck and your eyes lit up. You will look out the front window and just watch for the school bus, trash truck or the occasional tree or random dog. You just love life and all that it offers.

 We went to a new park and while you enjoyed the fountains, you did not want to stop swinging. You loved to just watch the other kids and your eyes smile when you see them. It reminded mommy to put your swing up in our yard and you are so glad I did. You get this peaceful look in your eyes and it's beautiful.

 

It's funny how independent you can be and so outgoing. Then others, you cling to me but always warm up quickly. It amazes me how social you are. The other day, you had to show a little girl your 'boo-boo' while saying, 'oooh, oooh' in the most pathetic voice. You are also quite the flirt. At the grocery store last week, a little girl tried to kiss you! You decided that she needed to see your belly! I never laughed so hard! 

 You are so animated. It goes with your personality and you have this energy about you that is contagious. You make the funniest expressions and the things you do either make me laugh, melt my heart or have me laughing hysterically.

 You have this sense of fashion and it cracks me up. You love shoes and hats and it doesn't matter whose they are (even random people out at Target!) You love to wear mommy and daddy's shoes. You might have worn your slippers to Target the other day! Though, I'm quite glad you stopped wearing underwear on your head!

 Every time we see a man, you scream Daddy or Nana every time you see an older woman, which sometimes embarrasses mommy when one of the women don't look old enough to be a 'nana!' It amazes me the things you put together. At a birthday party, you looked at the baby and his daddy was holding him. You looked at him and said, 'Daddy!"

 Bees. I hear you talk about bees all day. The first thing you say in the morning is bee! Lately, it's been 'Momma bee!" We joke that you are going to grow up to be an exterminator because you go around 'squishing' any bug you see! Somehow, you see the tiniest ants on the pavement!

 

Mommy took you to the Children's Museum and you had so much fun. It was one of those days' mommy wanted to bottle up. It was that special. Your favorite part of the day was playing in the sand and it makes mommy want to take you to the beach and watch you run in the sand!  

 

During the trip to the museum, we sat in the gift shop for quite a while. You were perfectly content just playing with the toy cars. I had to laugh because we were in this really cool place and you played in the gift shop!  

  

 

 Your sweetness amazes me. You run up to me and give me the biggest hugs and kisses and it leaves me with a smile on my face. You blow kisses to everyone and your wave is like the way you run. I wish I could bottle it up. If you see a kid somewhere you try to give them whatever you are holding, even if it's half eaten!

You have really taken to pretend play. You pretend to wash your hands in your kitchen sink, drink from a 'cup,' talk on the phone, and build. The other day, you took your horses and told me each of their names.

You'll never guess. Daddy. Mommy. Baby. My gosh, do I love you!

Last weekend, early in the morning we were all laying in bed trying to wake up. You pointed to daddy and then me saying each of our names. Then said, "I, Brady."

 I know I've said this countless times but you are such a nature kid. Bugs, dirt, sand, rocks, flowers. It's all a love of yours and just being outside is enough for you! You point to everything and say, "I see!"

You are really starting to put more words together. Tonight, you said, 'my daddy!' and 'my mommy' and I thought my heart was going to burst! I can't wait to hear all the things you are going to say!

    You are so curious but I see in those big beautiful eyes how you are listening to every little thing I say and watching all that I do. You have this personality that is so much bigger than you are and for that, life is never boring in this house.  

 You just make my life so full of joy! As you get older, I do get sad but I look at how much fun you are and how full of life you are and my heart becomes so full. Those dimples get me every.single.time.

I can't believe that in four months, you'll be two. I can only imagine my heart will have tripled in size for each day that I have been blessed to be your mom.

Hit me with your best shot.

To think of my favorite shot of Brady? That's hard. I have so many I love. So many memories that I look at and a smile comes across my face. One in particular stuck with me as hes gotten older and still remains a favorite. My snowy baby. Just thirteen months and the first big snow. An experience this momma will not soon forget.

The Paper Mama: Green photo challenge

The challenge is 'Green" at Paper Mama this week! This picture does nothing short of melt my heart. He blows kisses to me before I go to work, before bed and just for no reason at all.

Days like this.

 I have to remember two important things that I told myself I would always do!

1. Never take a moment for granted. This can be hard in the craziness of the weeks that juggling all that life entails. Since I leave him for most of the week, I feel like our days off together are that much more special but sometimes we can fall into routine and forget to do the fun things!

2. Dedicate days for Brady and I to spend together. Again, in the chaos of life, especially during the busiest months at work, it's hard. Well, today was one of those days that just happened. My mom who usually watches him could not last minute so we deemed it Mommy and Brady day!

We slept in till 7:30 which is a rarity in our house but that was only thanks to the middle of the night partying that these damn canine teeth created (they are all STILL not through!) We ate a nice, yummy breakfast and I decided we were going to the Magic House! It was amazing how much different this visit was then our last visit for his 1st Birthday! He enjoyed it so much more and he literally did not want to leave!

He went down the slide by himself for the first time! As in walked up the stairs by himself and went all the way down with no help from mom. It's ridiculous how big this kid is getting. 

He had tea with Alice and The Cheshire Cat and decided it was not his cup of tea! In fact, he might now be scarred for life a bit. In his defense, the cat was kinda creepy in the sense he had on no mask and this man was walking around in a stripped outfit with fuzzy hands. 

He met a new friend who seemed oddly familiar!

He was even allowed to push all kinds of buttons and it was ok to do so! He also.....

Became captain of his own sailing crew.

Created a masterpiece

Made a wish and attempted to dive in!

Tinkered with gadgets and doodads.

Walked around with a look of surprise and excitement for 99% of the time.

Decided that he wanted to play in the gift shop for 20 minutes. We left with a .50 rubber bee, which is so fitting for this child.

Created  beautiful music.

Put his toes in the sand for the first time this year

    

Threw lots of sand.   

 Buried his toes because that is what you do in the sand!

Enjoyed his day with momma.

You know it was a good day when you left with a dead camera battery and a child kicking and screaming. After four hours of fun, a nap was needed indeed.  Days like this do not come often enough but when we get the chance, we soak it all in and we love every single minute!                                       

Choices

I have lots of things to update on but the biggest is what we decided about school. It was something I was really excited about and it sounded perfect.

Until reality hit. Before I go into the whys and whats, I'll tell you it's not off the table. It's just not on the table this year. Here is why.

1.  We've been working really hard to pay off debt, as in a we could be practically debt free within a time that is in our see-able future. While the end result of going back and finishing my masters, it would mean we would most likely add more debt. This is something that is extremely important to me because as a child, I watched my parents struggle and if I have to sacrifice for now, it's fine with me. 
2. Speaking of the future, I will be considered 'tenure' or vested in January as some companies call it but basically I'm guaranteed a pension when I retire. 
3. Changes at work. They are throwing around the idea of us working from home. It's just an idea right now but it would alleviate all the issues I have with my job right now. When I was on maternity leave last year, we moved locations which changed my commute from 12 miles to 36 miles one way. While this would leave other things to figure out (like how to work with a toddler at home, lol) it is something that would be fantastic in so many ways. I could potentially save 10 hours a week of travel time. My hours could be more flexible too. (I think I posted a while back that i was trying to cut my hours but they no longer will let anyone do that. Then,  I considered 4 10 hour days but with travel time, it would be 4 12's which might be too much for me but I'm actually considering it again and would be able to do it if our office was closer!)
4. My last reason is what resonates with me the most right now. I've had many things happen within the past few months that really showed me I'm where I'm supposed to be. It might not be what I want right now but I'm a firm believer in that things happen for a reason. I'm good at what I do and I really do like my job but just not the paperwork and politics that come along with it. 

Add those all up, it was clear to me that I had to stay for a little while longer. Some days, I regret my decision especially those when I'm stressed out or miss Brady. Sometimes, I feel like a bad mom for choosing a decision that while best for his future, takes time away from him now.  Then, I have to remind myself, I'm being a bit selfish and him being at home with me is not necessarily the best for him. He is very social and very much a people person. He loves his momma but he also loves the ones he spends his time away from me with (grandma, Nana, our sitter he calls-mimi!) He know understands when I tell him if Grandma is coming to play with him or if he's going to Nana's. One day last week, he wanted to watch out the window for 'Mimi!" It's times like that make me confident in my decision.

I think that as a mom, I sometimes find myself rethinking my decisions even when I know it is the best choice. That little  mommy voice inside me always makes my decisions based on what is best for Brady and that does not always mean it is what I want. As a mom, I have to be selfless in the respect and that can be hard. It doesn't mean that I have to give up who I am or what I want out of life but it might mean I have to do it in a different order than I wanted to.

Sometimes something that tells me that I'm doing okay, that I am making all the right choices. It might be a little moment in time, a feeling, or that look in your child's eye but regardless of the form, it's always welcomed. It's always right.

Brady laughs.

My child is so ticklish. I mean I can't even cut his toenails they are so ticklish.  His chunky thighs is his most  most ticklish spot and I can never resist!

I think we did the tickle, rest for a second, ask for more cycle for a good half hour that night. I always laugh too because from the angle he's at, he always  looks like he has lots of chins. Either way, hearing his laugh makes me follow suit every time.

Nineteen

Dear Brady,
Oh, kid. It sure has been a month. You have definitely entered the 'getting into everything' stage.

 

 

These are just two examples of your dirty work.  

 You have decided you want to climb on everything. The other day mommy found you standing on our coffee table. Jumping. Climbing on the couch, the fireplace, the chairs, the toilet paper I just bought at Target , everything!

You love going up and down the stairs and can do it on your own but you still like to hold mommy's hand! You grab my hand sometimes out of the blue just to hold it and those are the memories I will never forget. Of course, you grab me and try to drag me out the door too :)



Your favorite place in the world is still playing outside. You don't even have to be doing much of anything but being out there is just enough for you. You watch the wind blow, the bugs (bees) fly by and just love to walk around! It's something about being out there that you truly are in love with and you run around out there like you have a plan in mind. It's no wonder your pockets are stuffed with acorns, rocks and dirt!




You are improving your tantrum 'technique' and you are getting quite good at it. They usually happen when we make you leave anywhere that involves being outside. Is that picture pure joy or what?

 

  You have also recently decided that swinging is pure bliss.  You liked it before but now you  purely love it even in the sweltering heat! I think we might have to finally hang yours up in the backyard!

 When you get hurt and have to run over for a kiss from mommy to make it all better.  Sometimes, you just come up and give me a hug or kiss for no reason at all. Those  are what make my heart smile wide!

You are communicating so well. You make your choices well known by pointing, bringing us to what you want or using your words. Last night, you said, "A ball, daddy! You like to yell Daddy's name a lot-at the store, running around the house and even to the waiter at the restaurant. We had a good laugh over that one, buddy!

"All gone" is heard in the middle of the night too. You finally are getting all four canine teeth in at the same time. You're not enjoying it one bit at night but during the day, you are happy as always. After they are all the way through, you will have 16 teeth (which I'm sure means two year old molars are nearing!)

 One of your favorite things to do is watch out the window for a school bus, bees, birds, and anything else. You get so excited that it really shows me that the little things in life are such a blessing!

You call all bugs 'bees!" and they are everywhere to you! You talk about them all day. The other day, we were watching something on TV and an animated bug flew around, you screamed, 'a bee, a bee!' as loud as you could!

This month, cicadas have pretty much take over outside. You are not bothered by them one bit. The other day one got near my head and I screamed. You looked over at me and laughed. You try to pick them up and it does nothing more than gross me out!  You must have watched mommy a few many times as you try to squish them!

You are getting into pretend play more and more. Giving your stuffed animals love, having them run around and making noises. It's so sweet and adorable to watch. Other things you love now are puzzles, blocks of any kind, bubbles, laying in mommy's bed before night night, being tickled, hiding, 'The Snuggliest Snuggle in the World' book.

You love to get hot and sweaty and it doesn't bother you a bit! We came inside for your favorite snack, olives, and then you asked for more! I thought you wanted more olives but you meant 'more outside!'

You can jump with both feet off the ground, march, and a silly little walk you invented! You are so silly!

 Your laugh is always present  and it brightens ours lives more than you'll ever know!  You have shown me more this month that you are not a helpless baby but an independent little boy. I can't believe that in five more months you'll be TWO!  I love you, bubs!

Purex Winner!

A bit late but the winner is...

Ashley0408, congrats!

Email me!

Currently

I'm currently loving...

Coconut milk. Man, I'm not a milk person AT ALL. Like, I detest it and this is actually good! Add it to a smoothie and you will be HOOKED!

 Pinterest. Um, yep. Addicted. I.CAN.NOT.STOP! Yes, it's that good. You can follow me here. I seriously have so many projects I want to do, this has added more and given me more motivation to do them!  I must also learn how to use my sewing machine...that might be a good place to start! Really though, it's fantastic. I've made several recipes from there already!

You have to be invited but leave me your email and I can send you one if you would like (not sure how many I have left but I will try!) but know you might never want to leave your computer again! Don't say I didn't warn you!

 This stuff is amazzzzzzing.  Satsuma Body Body from The Body Shop! I've always loved good smelling stuff but since I had awful morning sickness with Brady, smells are very hit or miss with me. I can't even use chapstick if it smells a teensy bit funky. This stuff smells so good I almost want to eat it. I have a thing for the scents with a hint of orange! Seriously, it's starting to become an addiction!

 

Chia seeds! 

I know, they look a little like nothing and to be honest, they don't taste like much but I am obsessed! They are super good for you, full of Omega 3, iron and calcium! I made some chia pudding (milk, agave and chia seeds!) and Brady even liked it! These little seeds can hold more than 12 times it's weight in water too!  

 

A sleeping baby. 

Teeth strike again.  Those damn canines are taking their time coming in since it has felt like sleeps been hit or miss for quite some time (and there have been lots of early mornings!) Well, last week, two of the four finally poked through! Yipee! I can't complain though, the kid goes down to sleep so easy now! Before you wish a night of crappy sleep on me, don't worry, I've earned my dues. I think we are still earning our dues since we had a night last week that reminded me of the old days where he wanted to party all night! 

There is nothing more sweet than a sleeping child though. Especially when it is your own!  

 

( Could summer look any better! :) 

Summer! 

It's here and we are all so excited! After a hard winter, bouts of crazy storms and a lot of rain, we were so ready to get out and enjoy the summer! I'm more excited about this summer than ever! I can't wait to take him swimming again and lots of trips to the park! Popsicles are good too :) 

 (I'm so behind on his 19 month post! I literally have taken almost 500 pictures since I got my camera back last week but sadly, it's not fixed. I'm still having the same damn issue! Boo, hoo!)

Purex giveaway!

Purex is now available with Zout, a stain lifter. Brady is well, he's a toddler and that means lots of messes! He can eat with a fork or spoon but spills half of it on himself (or throws it!) I gave up on bibs because well, the kid rips them off!

I've tried a lot of different stain removers and I am pretty surprised at how well Purex with Zout got rid of them! I switched it up and tried Purex with Zout and didn't tell my husband (we usually use the Naturals line.) He does his own laundry (thankyouverymuch) and Mr. I don't care about laundry detergent, told me that he LOVED the new stuff!

Purex with Zout contains three stain fighting enzymes which is better than, well one! They are kind of fun to say too!

With a toddler around, we need all the help we can get and it also comes in their 'Free and Clear' without any added fragrances which is good for sensitive little bodies!

Who wants to win some?

Just comment and tell me what you're biggest stain problem is. Simple and easy. Enter by Sunday, May 29th!

For us? It's berries. The kid will eat them till the cows come home but they always get on his shirt!

Add this to the list.

Add this to the list of things that I should never be allowed to do again.

I always cut Blake's hair (which is super easy because we just basically just shave it) and so I figured it would be no big deal to cut Brady's.

Insert loud buzzing noise.

WRONG!

For one thing, he's got a ton of hair, especially where it's thick in the middle where the cowlick trifecta lives and grows.  Add in some curls and you might be sitting there wondering why I would even think of cutting it myself. Ha, I am still wondering that myself!

 I started using the scissors but decided I was not getting any where so I used the clippers on the longest setting.  As the hair started falling the floor, I immediately knew I had made a huge mistake.

The funniest part about the whole thing is the kid just sat there still as a statue while I did it. The kid can't sit still for more than five seconds at a time but now i know that he can while his mom butchers his hair!

Just so you know, the pictures don't do the do' justice. I mean my MIL told me today she didn't like it one bit! (thanks, by the way!) It looks a lot longer than it really is!  I just might have to admit that I have had to fix a few stray long hairs that I missed the first time and that immediatly afterwards, I realized I missed a whole giant hunk which left him with a mini-mullet for a little while.

(I even whipped out some hair product to make it look better, which it actually did!)

Ooops.

Lesson learned. Momma is not cut out for cutting hair!

Good thing hair grows back and he's cute regardless!

(ps...as I wrote this post, I got the call my camera is ready! Yipeeeeeee!)

Travelin' with Twizzlers!

 Summer is a time for traveling and exciting vacations and I'm curious who is taking one so I can live vicariously through you! Who want's to travel to the Show me State?

(I think this design for the Arch would be awesome!)

 What was your favorite road trip? My favorite road trip as a family hasn't happened yet and I think the last road trip Blake and I went to was to Tunica (I still wanna go back just to eat at Paula Deen's again!)  I can't wait to take a trip somewhere soon! I can think of a million and one places I want to show Brady! It's funny but the idea of traveling with a child used to freak me out but the thought of showing him new places is so exciting!

Here are a few good travel tips:

• Create a boredom bag. Convert a hanging travel cosmetic case into a case full of fun and hang it from the seat back in front of the kids’ seats.
• Take your trip “online.” From GPS systems to phone applications, trips are no longer a navigation nightmare.
• Think through the snacks you pack. Avoid packing snacks that are easy to spill like juice boxes or snacks that melt. Try plastic bottles with sports tops and bring along Twizzlers Candy or Twizzlers Nibs Candy – they are easy to share and don’t melt, making them the perfect car ride treat.

  I haven't traveled much in the U.S (I know, how sad!) and want to take a trip to the Grand Canyon which I have only seen through a tiny window on the airplane on our way to Vegas a few years ago.  I also want to see the Statue of Liberty too !

(Is it odd I just want to nibble on her headpiece?)

What's your favorite snack for traveling?

Mine has always been Twizzlers. It's still my favorite candy and I could eat licorice till the cows come home! I remember eating it as a kid at the pool and I wish I had some right now.

 

Disclosure: I am entering a contest for a Twizzlers Landmark Summer promotion prize pack as a member of the Mom Bloggers Club

Passing it on

When I was pregnant with Brady, I read blogs and found a lot of good tips and ideas so I'm going to share mine with you!

• Jammies. If you are like me and hate mis-matched jammies, you'll like this. When I fold his laundry, I fold the pants up and then wrap them inside the shirt so that we always have matching jammies. It is so much easier at the end of the day, when some certain little man is getting cranky to just pull out a pair and not have to search for a missing piece!

See how happy he is (it could also be that he is wearing jammies with a ball on it!)

• Speaking of  baby clothes, I always keep a storage tote or giant diaper box inside his closet to throw clothes that no longer fit. It's so much easier than a few times a year purging through his closet. When it's full, I mark on the side what size and season it is! I do the same thing with toys that he has outgrown!

• Speaking of toys, I save EVERY box that bigger toys come in. So, than when he does outgrow that toy, I can shove it back in the box and not have to search for all the pieces. 

•  I could never find a syringe when I needed to give Brady medicine. I now store them in a bar food jar in the cabinet. Every night, he takes Zyrtec, I wash it and throw it back! 
•  Crayons are my nemesis. The kid loves them but i get tired of picking them up or shoving them back into that dumb cardboard container that lasts 2 seconds with a toddler. So, I use an old wipes box. They work perfect for little hands and he LOVES putting them away. It's a fun game! I keep all of his 'art' supplies (coloring books construction paper, etc) in a bin and it's a nice way to keep it together!

(sorry for the ugly table in the back ground. Our table started doing that right after we bought it but the place we bought it from refuses to refund us or honor the warranty we bought. It was 'our fault' for using it, I guess. What a great 'Value' it was. ;)

•  I keep a schedule of his day (more so when he was younger) in our cabinet for sitters and family with our emergency, work and medical info.
•  I keep a storage container of kid approved snacks in our pantry. It makes for easy access for when were are running out the door or for sitters to know what he can have! (Our sitter comes here 3 days a week so it's easy for her)

•  Frozen veggies. I keep bags and bags of frozen veggies in my freezer. I'm lucky that my kid loves his veggies and eats them at lunch and dinner but I don't always have time to come home from work and make them fresh which is why they come in handy...and for boo boos too! 
•  Brady loves yogurt tubes (yet, he refuses to eat yogurt any other way, silly kid!)  but he's not quite able to use them with making a humungo mess. I freeze them, cut em in half and he has a nice healthy 'dessert!'
• .Diaper changes. As he gets older, they get harder and harder. A friend told me she had would give her son's stickers when it was diaper changing time. By the time, they would take it off and on a few times, it would be done! I also keep a few other tools up my sleeve--empty lip balm jar I cleaned out. He likes to open and close the lid and it keeps him nice and occupied while I do what I need to! 
• Boo-Boo kit for the car (which I should have had LONG time ago!) I'm working on this now so I don't have a finished product to show but in my car I already have extra diapers, change of clothes and wipes in the trunk in case of emergencies (so I don't have to carry my child into Bed, Bath and Beyond in just a diaper again!) I also want to add more of a boo-boo kit too that goes beyond the first aid kit because when you're running errands with a kid, crap happens. Literally. Extra sippy cup, stain remover, boo-boo pack, neosporin, etc. Also, a few markers (crayons melt) and paper, a sucker for a real emergency, and a few toys.

• Don't be afraid to buy 2nd hand. I have found so many toys, clothes and baby/kids stuff, that still had tags on it or were almost new. Ask around for Consignment sales in your area! There are a few I go to each year and it really saves me a lot! I buy a lot of his play clothes because he's just going to get dirty so why spend a lot?
• I've also been really good about buying for the next season and getting clothes super cheap that way. For fall, I have him almost stocked up. I actually tallied up the cost I spent and what I would have spent and the savings was amazing! I spent less than $60 over course of a few months for clothes that would have cost me over $500. 
• Pictures. I take gazillions and I'm very particular how they are saved because I don't always know WHEN they were taken just by looking. I have each file named by his age at the time. Birth, 1 month, two months and so on. I even put a few extra files for Christmas and special occasions (first haircut) along with the month and year so in five years from know, I'll always know how old he was then. 
• Building on that, after a friend lost everything in a tornado in December, I thought about what I could do to make sure my most loved memories were protected. So, of course we have an external hard drive (if you don't have one, get one now) but that wasn't enough. If my house was destroyed or burnt to the ground, it would all be gone. I save all my files online. I have a few places I do this too and I can post later if you want!
  
  BUT...a parent I work with had the most fabulous idea! She burns them all on a disk and places them in a safe deposit box! Genius! 

                                                               

                                                            (found on pinterest linking here.)

   Lastly, a little reminder. Be truly be grateful for each day. Brady is at the age where he is a lot work. He's into everything and he's testing the waters. He's full of energy and wearing his parents out but at the end of the day, I have to remind myself even when I have lost all patience and I'm so tired I just want to not have to make dinner or read that book-(one.more.time!) that I can't redo this day or this moment. He's only this little for this moment and I am making this moment count. 

Things I learned recently

1. That my son thinks that all bugs are 'a beeeeeeeee!' He tells me about them everyday. He even 'chats' on the phone about them.
2. Those 'bee's' or as I call them, Ants, have invaded our home and momma will attack!!
3. That smashed cheerios can hide just about anywhere. (hmmm, no wonder we have ants!)
4. Brady scrunches his nose when he laughs. Just like his momma.
5. Letting a toddler run around in just his jammy top is OK.
6. Picking said toddler up after he has filled the diaper is not OK. Unless you like to go to work covered in the aroma of 'au la poo'
7. Blue crayons are still blue on the way out.
8. The excitement and look in your child's eyes when he feels a sense of accomplishment never gets old.
9. Actually, a clap and shouting, "yay!' should follow any completed task. No matter how small.
10. A small task to us means the world to a child.
11. Toys have minds of their own.
12. For real. They might start randomly playing in the middle of the night and you might freak out that either your child climbed out of his bed or some crazy lunatic has broken into your home and decided to play with all your child's toys.
13. For some reason, at 3:30 am, the latter sounds less crazy.
14. That a night at Grandma's and a date night out, does a world of good for everyone!
15. That as Brady grows, I find that there are more things I love about him and that age. I get sad to see him grow up but each stage just gets better!

Hello? Hi!

I went over an entire week with no blogging? Woah...

Here is why.

1. I'm tired.

2. I'm tired.

3. I have a toddler.

4. I'm tired.

The last few weeks off and on have been kinda odd and Brady's been waking up and the last week, he's been fighting bedtime. He starts crying hysterically and I can only blame one thing.

Teeth.

I am also without a camera and that means....no pictures. It was a gift from Blake years ago and we still have a warranty on it from Best Buy. They told me two weeks.

That was almost 3 weeks ago. Grrrrrr.

I'm in withdrawal and I feel like my child has aged 10 years since I've been without it.

So, I'll leave you with a video of my child who desperately needs a haircut and is obsessed with bees (which I've learned is any kind of bug) and saying oooowwwwwllllllll! (that is OWL for those you don't speak toddler!)

What it means to me

 Last week, I watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy. Callie was recovering from a terrible car accident and  her baby had to be delivered a bit too soon. She was about to take her baby home after months of her being in the NICU. She freaked out and didn't want to because that mean she had to put her in a car.

It was then that Bailey said, "You don't feel this way because you were in an accident, you feel this way because you are a parent. It will pass, mostly. Some of it never will."

I remember that feeling after our first ultrasound. I remember feeling that way as we pulled out of the parking lot of the hospital. I felt tears coming down my face as we drove home. I was relieved. I was excited but I was also scared. I was nervous. My child had just had been monitored 24/7 for almost the entire week of his life and they were letting ME take him home?

 It was rainy that day and I told Blake to be really careful as we drove for the first time with our new bundle of joy who slept safetly in his car seat.

  

Then, we brought him home and I think we both looked at each other like, 'Ok, now what?' 

We settled in and I watched him while he slept. I checked on him to make sure his little chest rose with each breath. We moved him to his crib when he was about four months old and I lost track of how many times I would check up on him. When I went back to work, I checked in with whoever was watching him that day. I hold his hand as he walks down the stairs and I kiss him when he gets a boo-boo. 

Dr. Bailey was right, while some of it did pass, most of it has not.

Eighteen months later, I still peek on him before I go to sleep. I worry about him just as much as I did that rainy day in October. The only difference between that gloomy day is that my love for him has grown with each day that has passed.

As the episode wrapped up, Meredith finished the episode by narrating, 'You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living. Things may of changed too radically to ever go back to what they were. You might not even recognize yourself. You're a whole new person with a whole new life.'

It was then I found myself in Brady's room. I sat there and just watched his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. I looked at how he filled up a bed he once looked so tiny in.

I then flashed back to a time when I went to bed when I wanted to, not when I could barely stay awake or knowing I'd be woken up earlier than I would like by the sounds of a jumping toddler. I used to wake up when I wanted on the weekends. With motherhood, that changed.

Motherhood might mean a little less sleep. It might bring along a sense of worry.

Motherhood is about rushing around the house getting ready for work with a baby on your hip. Rushing out the door only to realize you have poop on your shirt.

It might give you a new sense of confidence you didn't think you had.

Motherhood might make you better at your job because you work with parents and children and now know what it feels like to want the best for you child.

Motherhood is about extra cuddles when they are sick.

It is about hearing them say, "momma' for the first time or watching them take their first steps.

It's about tantrums, rule and praise.

It is about celebrating each day and capturing each milestone.

It is about joy, laughter and love that is so innocently pure. A love that is not bound by conditions or time. Love that is unconditionally conditional.

 As my second Mother's Day as a mom nears, I have only experienced a tiny bit of motherhood but it has changed me. You can't experience all that parenthood entails and not feel it. I have known love before Brady but the love you have for your own child is a feeling of its own. Before Brady, my worries were silly and now they are tied to that new love that we are blessed to know.

I guess Meredith was right. I am still me but I think I of myself as a 'whole new person...with a whole new life' and I would not trade any of the sleepless nights, poopy diapers or tantrums for the life I used to have!

What does Motherhood mean to you?